Facepalm

We interrupt the whining about the heat and the broken AC to bring you this late-breaking news: The New York Times, that former bastion of intelligent journalism, is apparently not quite clear on the concept of the holiday we all will be celebrating, in one form or another, this coming Sunday. I know this to be true because they just tweeted this: Cook With the Kids This Mother's Day.

Yeah, all you moms out there, read it twice. Because I did.  And, in case you still don't understand what they are saying, it links to some fun recipes that you can have your children "help" you with, on your day off.

Let's see, I wonder what else the Gray Lady is planning to tweet today.  How about Clean All Your Bathrooms on Mother's Day? Or maybe, Go to Target With a Nap-Deprived Toddler and a Fussy Baby on Mother's Day?

Gosh, this game is fun.  Go ahead, give it a try in the comments.  What do YOU think The New York Times wants us moms to do on our special day?

Strength Through Suffering

This looks to be more fun than HVAC.

You know what I would like?  I would like it if I could just get a break from doing grown-up stuff.  Oh, I don't mind the bathroom cleaning or the bed-making or doing the laundry - I mean, even my kids do that (after a lot of nagging, but still...). No, I mean the real grown-up stuff, like signing contracts that involve spending lots of other people's money or spending a lot of my own money on boring things like HVAC systems instead of trips to Hawaii or even that thing where I have to make myself go to the dentist, because there is no one around to tell me to do it.

I hate all that.

Oh, and if y'all need a good way to get in shape, just get your pre-teen daughter a decent bicycle and then try to keep up with her on a bike ride.  I've done it twice in the past two days, and both times I came home and passed out on the couch.  I'm telling you, it's not pretty being over 50.

And that's all I've got, folks.  Bedtime's a'calling, because apparently my nap wasn't long enough. We'll be hunkering down here for some Purgatory-worthy suffering over the next week, as our new HVAC system won't be installed until the 18th.  So what if it is heading into the 90's on Tuesday? Between the lack of air conditioning and my continuing to force the children to make ice cubes by hand, the whole experience can become a history lesson on how people lived before the mid-twentieth century. Experiential learning, that's what we homeschoolers call it. John Holt would be proud.




[Hawaii photo: ProTravel]

Loud Lady On A Train, Plus Other Stories

Yesterday? Was busy.  BUSY. First, in the morning, there was my fit friend, who is still trying to kill me by dragging me on long bike rides.  We biked 12 miles (well, that's long to me, darn it); and she insisted on talking about signing up for a century this year.  A century - 100 miles - which, last time I checked, is WAY longer than 12.

Usually, this is a fun ride.  USUALLY...

Then, it was time to hop a train into the city for Listen To Your Mother DC.  Normally, I enjoy long train rides.  They give me time to knit and people-watch, 2 of my favorite activities.  Unfortunately, during this particular ride, I was sharing a car with The LOUD Family.  Everything the mom said seemed to be uttered for the benefit of not only her children but also everyone else seated in the car. We all had to listen to her take a vote from the kids on which museum to see.  Then we were all privy to an extended discussion concerning what was in each museum, a discussion conducted in those irritatingly didactic tones used by adults when they are trying to show onlookers what great parents they are.

I swear to you, I was ready to garrote myself with my 40-inch circulars only 15 minutes into this ordeal. And then, for some reason, one of the kids started asking for definitions of words, definitions that were then also given in the loud, fake teaching voice (my teeth are on edge, remembering it). "Daddy," the little tyke said (loudly), "what does 'courteous' mean?" "Well, honey," he said, his voice resonating throughout the car, "it means being considerate of other people."

Irony, folks - it doesn't get any better than that.

Funny - he doesn't LOOK like a mom...

So! LTYM was fun, although again it felt as though I was the only person who showed up alone.  I can't seem to get any of my IRL friends interested in this blogging/story-telling scene.  I sat there, with my knitting, and acted as though I were just waiting for someone to show up.  That's right - I "saved" the seat next to me.  It made me feel better.

After the show, in an unwonted fit of extroversion, I even tried to go hang out with the cast and audience at a nearby hotel bar; but, once I walked in there, I realized I had no idea how to order a drink in a crowded bar.  I mean, I just wanted to circulate with a Coke in my hand, but how did I get the glass of soda in the first place?  And how was I supposed to pay for it?  Was I supposed to elbow my way to the bar, where people were already sitting?  Was I supposed to sit at one of the tables and wait for someone to take my order?  WHERE WAS THE CASH REGISTER?

So I left.  I am such a loser sometimes. Really.

Old-fashioned GPS, I guess

Then it was time to find my childhood best friend, who happened to be flying into DC that very afternoon, for business.  Now, I probably haven't mentioned this, but this was the same friend with whom I flunked orienteering in 6th grade, because we couldn't count steps and use a compass to save our lives.  So here we both were in DC, equipped with GPS on our smartphones, STILL having trouble meeting up.  It was like a game of Marco Polo, only a lot hotter and more tiring.  We finally ended up on facing street corners, waving madly at each other as if we had trekked across Africa to accomplish this meeting.



I got my Coke at her hotel. It was less confusing there.

So, yup, a busy day, during which I am sure my poor abandoned children subsisted (happily) on potato chips and chocolate chip cookies and my overworked spouse enjoyed some peace and quiet, without me there to ask him just WHEN he was going to remove our cartop carrier from our tiny townhouse backyard.  Which is totally another story, but I've rambled on long enough here, you poor people.  I'm going to leave you now and try Googling for proper customer etiquette in a crowded upscale bar.  That way, I'll be all set for LTYM 2016.



[Metro image: Wikipedia]
[LTYM photo: Dad Or Alive]
[Compass image: CSP Forestry]

Pay Dirt

See? ADORABLE.

Our local farmers' market has a new feature this year - it's collecting any compost-worthy items (fruit and vegetable peels, eggshells, etc) to keep them from ending up in the landfill.  Happy to do our part, the girls and I purchased a little compost bin for the kitchen, the better to store our eggshells in.  Now, this particular bin is simply ADORABLE - seriously, it puts the cute into composting.  I told the saleswoman at The Container Store as much and she said, "Can I use that? I like it - the 'puts the cute into composting' thing."

I'm thinking I need an agent.

Anyhow, we also bought biodegradable little not-plastic bags (made out of potato starch, like latkes, I guess) to use in the bin, so we can take the compost out of the bin each day and store it in the freezer (just like the pioneers!) - that way the kitchen won't stink to high heaven by Friday.  Also, it won't attract bugs that way.

What did the pioneers do about the bugs, anyway?  You know, this is how I know there is no such thing as reincarnation - no way I could have lived in the 19th century, with no indoor plumbing and insects everywhere.

Hey! Is composting like reincarnation for leftovers?  Think about it.

Crowdsourcing

Today the AC guy arrived for our annual check and maintenance thing (there is a slow freon leak, so he usually has to add some), but he ended up informing me that our unit is kaput and we need a new one.

So, yeah, Happy Spring!  Have I mentioned it will be in the 80's next week?

Smiling all the way to the bank

Anywhoo, the sales guy came by and quoted me about $6200 dollars for a new central AC unit (includes outside compressor and inside coil).  I'm used to being ripped off, but - even by my sucker standards - that sounds a tad high, doesn't it?  Add in the fact that our furnace is truly on its last legs, so we should replace both at once, and we are looking at, oh, $11,400 for climate control around here.  That's WITH the discount for having the work done all at one time.

So! Please tell me how much you've paid to replace AC and furnace units for your house and how long ago it was.  Granted, I live in an expensive area of the country, but your numbers still might give me an idea of just how far beyond reason this quote is.  Or maybe it isn't?

Fire away!