Sweets For The Sweet

Tonight I went up to Baltimore to see its Listen To Your Mother show. I also got to meet Ann Imig (the founder of the whole LTYM phenomenon) in person, because she happened to be there, too. So, yes, that's me, rubbing shoulders with the (blogging) famous. Next thing you know, I'll be trading recipes with the Pioneer Woman. I mean, it takes some special skill to throw together Costco frozen meatballs and Ragu spaghetti sauce the way I do. Those jars don't just open themselves, you know.

And now we are getting ready for LTYM DC (next week!), and Larry's packing for a business trip to London (next week!), and Brian tells me there is the homeschool prom (next week!), and suddenly I cannot wait for May, when I have absolutely nothing planned - at least, nothing that I can remember.

And yes, "homeschool prom" DOES sound a little weird, like we have a spelling bee instead of music and dancing. But it's actually a pretty normal prom, except nobody gets drunk before or after, which strikes me as a definite plus. And since I have only a teen boy going this year, there really isn't much prep to do. Still, Larry has to chaperone, and then there is the after-party, and then we have the neighborhood clean-up event early the next morning.

So, like I said, May cannot come quickly enough for me. It doesn't hurt that Larry has promised to get my car cleaned, inside and out, which strikes me as the best Mother's Day present ever. Well, that, and some Cadbury fruit-and-nut bars, to be picked up while he is in London, because the British version is WAY better than ours.

The best confection to remedy spousal abandonment...

Got that, Larry? CADBURY.

I Can See Clearly Now

Today I get to wait around until the windshield-replacement guy shows up. I drove around for a full week thinking to myself, "When I get out of the car, I've GOT to remove that blade of grass on my windshield." Then I would forget, because - let's face it - you drive your car to get somewhere, and once you get there, that is all that is on your mind, not removing blades of grass from your windshield (which explains why, for SEVEN YEARS now, I have been forgetting to superglue the loose door gasket in place, so every once in a while it falls on someone's head as they are climbing in the car).

THIS will be happening. Technician may vary...

Anyway, then I noticed that the blade of grass seemed a tad longer and one day last week the sun caught it at just the right angle to reveal its true nature - a crack climbing up the windshield right in front of me. So it was sort of a Trojan blade of grass, as it were. Acting completely out of character, I immediately called the insurance company and set up today's appointment. Seriously, I don't know what came over me, but I am glad I did, because that crack is now twice as long and right in front of my face as I am driving.

All of which is to say, SOMETIMES I get it right.

Men Are From Whatever Planet People Can't Hear On

Folks, this is how we communicate around here, in case you are wondering what 25 years of marriage looks like:

ME: So, judging from the read-through last night, we shouldn't bring the girls to the LTYM show. Think they're okay if we just leave them here for the afternoon?

HIM: Show?

ME: The Listen To Your Mother show is on May 1st. Can the kids stay by themselves at home?

This is what he looked like, I swear it.

HIM: <look of extreme incomprehension>

ME: Do you have ANY idea what I am talking about?

HIM: Wasn't the show last night?

ME: No! That was the read-through.

HIM: 

ME: You thought I was performing in LTYM last night and you just waved bye? Didn't you want to SEE it?

At this point, Larry is sitting there with the classic confused-husband look. I take pity on him and try again. Slowly.

ME: Last night we were all reading our pieces to each other to hear how they sounded together. The SHOW is on May 1st. 

HIM: I thought you changed it. So last week was the cast party and this week was just practice? When's the show again?

ME: May 1st. Can we leave the girls alone here while we are at the show?

More confused-husband look. I mean, what is there not to understand? I try to ignore him and finish my breakfast, but the sensation of confusion emanating in WAVES from his end of the table is overwhelming. I lose it.

ME: Larry, this isn't that hard!

The baffled look on his face doesn't change. I turn to Brian, who is sitting across from me.

ME: You understand this, don't you?
BRIAN: I thought you taped the show last night and it would be on YouTube today.

All this to explain why I'm giving my free ticket to Anna. These menfolk don't even DESERVE to see the show.

Bowling Is Too A Sport

This week has just rocketed by. Theo's transfer date (he's going overseas) was moved up, so what was supposed to be a nice, leisurely visit spanning a week was changed to only 3 days, days filled with bureaucratic minutiae like changing his car registration, among other things. He arrived earlier than planned, too, the same night I was hosting Bunko, so I got to prep for Bunko (that is, clean the house, buy fun food, make other fun food) at the same time I was prepping for his visit (de-cheese the house, clear the guest room, etc.). Due to my general organizational ineptitude, this was not easy.

Rachel would NOT like this dress.

We did find time to go bowling, however, despite the short visit. (Hey, who says we're not an athletic family?) Susie wanted to show Theo how she can bowl strikes, and Larry and I were grasping for any opportunity to hang out with him, so that made all of us happy - well, except Rachel, who happens to be 13 and not excited by the thought of family togetherness. Probably Theo felt the same way, but - happily - he's old enough now to humor us in our fantasies of fun family outings.

These taste great, even when melted

Add to all that a visit from Uncle Matt and a read-through for the Listen To Your Mother show, and I am fairly done in. The LTYM read-through required me to act extroverted for almost 6 hours straight (we met for dinner ahead of time), which exertion must have numbed my brain cells - I grabbed some lovely Lindt chocolate-toffee squares for the ride home but unwisely stored them in my pants pocket. This resulted in a scene which can only be described as pathetic - a middle-aged woman (um, that would be me) standing in her living room at 11:30 PM, licking melted chocolate from candy wrappers.


Not exactly how I pictured my life would be at this point, really. I mean, when does the grown-up part happen, anyway?

Cookie Monster

Much shinier than ours...

Larry stopped by our credit union yesterday and, while he was there, decided to check out the new car sale going on. I don't really understand WHY there was a new car sale happening there, but hey, it seemed convenient.

Anyway, long story short, he went into sticker shock when he saw the prices ($37K for a minivan? Really?) True, it's been 7 whole years since we bought our Toyota minivan (which is hard for us to remember, because, hey, we still call it the "new" car), so I guess prices have gone up a bit. Still, that's a LOT of dough. Is everyone paying that nowadays? And how much longer do you think we can make our 2004 Honda Odyssey last?

Yes, we ARE a two-minivan family. We refer to it as "the fleet."

In other news, last night I attended a cast party for LTYM DC that included former cast members. It is sort of a blur, but I vaguely remember going all fangirl when introduced to someone from the very first year (2012), someone whose piece I loved. Also, it gradually dawned on me that many of these women were fairly serious about writing. I mean, there was talk of writer conferences and fellowships and how to get the attention of the Huffington Post, among other things.

It's hard to describe how it feels to meet a whole bunch of these women at once. Picture it - I sit here in my den, writing my silly little blog posts for what? 8 or 9 years now? Toiling away in relative obscurity, as it were, all while attending LTYM and following other people's blogs. Suddenly, I am in a room full of flesh-and-blood people who take this stuff seriously. People who talk about writing stories as if it is something important, something that matters.

It's as if a world I made up in my head turned out to be real, imaginary friends and all.

Irresistible

So, yeah, a pretty cool experience all around. Also, the hostess had those awesome Trader Joe's crispy cookies that have caramel and chocolate inside. You know, the thin, crunchy ones that look sort of lacy on the outside? When I wasn't fawning on former LTYM people, I was taking it upon myself to save everyone the calories by eating as many of these cookies as I could. I'm nothing if not a team player, you know.




[Cookies image: Bran Appetit]