Drill, Baby, Drill

Quickly, before I head out to Knit Night...

I had my (newly expensive) dental appointment today. Apparently it is possible to get a cavity in the root of your tooth beneath a crown. Who knew? And when that happens, the dentist has to break the old (also expensive, but not as expensive as now) crown, fix the tooth, and then make you a brand spanking new crown.

Did I mention expensive? Oh, okay then.

Terrible (& gratuitous) pic of my current project

Only, it didn't happen. Oh, it started to happen. I spent an hour and a half in the dentist's office and received three (count them, THREE) different shots of Novocaine. I couldn't feel my tongue or my throat by the end of it.

I could, however, feel that darn drill. Yup. Seems I have an auxiliary nerve on that side of my mouth that is hard to hit with the Novocaine. In fact, we had the same problem 10 years ago when he was working in that spot. I should have reminded him, I guess.

So we're trying again in 3 weeks. I can only assume that poor guy is going to give me 16 shots of Novocaine as soon as I walk in there and I won't be able to feel my face for 2 days. But I don't care - I just want to get this over with. I HATE DENTAL WORK.

Okay, I feel better now that I've whined about it. Anyone want to share their nightmare dental stories?

Bush League

5 days, people - my closet has maintained a pristine state for 5 DAYS. This may be an all-time record for us. As you can see in that picture to the left (or right, I mix them up, and no, I would never be able to learn to drive in Great Britain), a few more outdoor toys have sneaked in (some jumpropes, bottles of bubbles); but they are all being neatly contained by that rectangular doo-hickey thingamabob that I picked up in IKEA at some point.

I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now, I'll tell you that. Add to that the fact that I actually went out and weeded the front yard and pulled out the ground cover that was threatening to choke some bush Larry planted there, and I'm practically a candidate for the Housekeeper of the Year Award.

Does that exist? I wouldn't know.

Rescued shrubbery

Today I get to wait around for Larry's kayak to be delivered. People, that man has been pining for one of these things for years; and he just managed to sell the rarely used canoe that he bought, oh, 17 years ago, so I'm certainly not going to be standing in the way of his dreams. Considering that we don't have a garage, however, I am not quite sure where I will stick this thing until he gets back from his business trip.

San Diego - the man is in San Diego for a week. And he didn't have to sleep sitting up on a train and eat granola bars for 4 days to get there, either.

Gratuitous photo of our spirea bush

Gosh, I wish I had a career.

ANYWAY, I get to sign for the kayak delivery. I also get to sign for Theo's personal goods shipment on Friday, because HE's off in Dublin, climbing the Cliffs of Moher or something before he heads off to the rest of Europe. He's definitely earned this trip, after 4 years in the Army; but that doesn't make me any less jealous, I must say. But, really, I'm too old to be staying in hostels all over the continent - I learned that in Seattle.

No, I'll just have to wait until we strike it rich and Larry retires and we can pay for a river cruise or however else it is that well-off senior citizens tour Europe. I mean, if Larry isn't off kayaking in Costa Rica or some such place.

I don't know why I picked Costa Rica. I know nothing about it, actually. Do people like to kayak there?

Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

I hosted Bunko in May, and we had a graduation party; but that was 3 weeks ago, which means that the decor theme in my house at this point can best be described as bygone festive.

Nice look, right? They're almost Pinterest-worthy, in a macabre sort of way. But we also had Brian's birthday party way back in April, before I left for the train trip with Susie. That means a couple of slow-to-deflate Mylar balloons have been bobbing around the house for almost 2 months now. I'll tell you, you don't know terror until you are going downstairs in the dark and meet one of these things floating quietly up the stairwell toward you.

And then there are the garlands Susie put up (also for Brian's birthday). They took so much work, we were loath to take them down; and then there WAS the graduation party, and 2 weeks later there was Susie's birthday. So we've been able to rationalize having crepe paper streamers dangling from our living room ceiling, in full view of the front entrance, for (again) almost 2 months. And guess what? My birthday is in 17 days, so I'm guessing these aren't coming down any time soon.

Susie worked hard on these

And, uh, yeah, that snowman is still there.

But, hey, my hall closet continues to look pretty good. The bag of plastic bags that sneaked in there has mysteriously disappeared - I don't remember removing it and I can't find it. Maybe Larry is messing with me. I wouldn't put it past him.

Speaking of Larry, I came back from yoga class to find he had laid out 2 (2!) birthday cards on the kitchen table, waiting for family members to sign them. One was for the kids' Uncle Fred and the other was for David. You have to understand, Larry and I have been TERRIBLE at sending timely birthday and other greeting cards for the past, oh, 26 years. I mean, it happens late or (most times) it just doesn't happen. It's a family trait on his side, so no one gets too mad at us, but still - we're not proud of it.

So when I came home on Saturday and found these cards ready to be signed over a WEEK EARLY, I was stunned. "Hey, Larry," I said, when I saw him later. "That's amazing -  we're sending birthday cards to people on time. That's really great!"

He just looked at me.

"What?" I said. "I mean it - I never would have done it myself!"

"I bought those last year," he said, "and I forgot to send them."

Like I've said before, we're a match made in heaven.

Science - Not Just For Professionals Anymore

Today I learned that it is indeed possible to put too much horseradish on a sandwich. Yes, even with a generous amount of mayonnaise mixed in, the heaping dollop of horseradish that I smeared on both slices of bread was enough to temporarily disable my tastebuds. On the bright side, however, my sinuses appear to have been permanently cleared.

Look, we can't ALL be busy discovering the cure for cancer. No, some of us must toil away in anonymity, devoting our lives to the pursuit of everyday household science, for the benefit of our fellow man. Today it may be about the sinus-clearing properties of horseradish; but in the past I have researched the multiplicatory effect of refrigerators upon condiments held therein (and invented the word "multiplicatory"), the inevitability of spousal miscommunication re paint colors, the lifespan of zucchini prior to self-liquidation, and many other fascinating scientific questions.

Dammit, I deserve a Nobel.

That clean floor makes me tear up, I love it so.

In other news, it has been over 48 hours and my hall closet is still tidy. True, there are 3 winter coats floating around my bedroom in search of a home, but that is irrelevant. I have met the coat closet on the field of battle and I have triumphed.

Although, wait - to the left of the shoe holders, in that picture there - what's that I spy? Is it...CAN IT BE...an interloper? Why, yes, there hangs a plastic bag, waiting to receive, dare I say it, MORE plastic bags. And believe me, I wasn't the one who put it there.

You know, if this isn't proof that Larry doesn't bother to read my blog, I don't know what is.

So, a poll here (even though, yes, it's the weekend and probably no one will even see this): Where do you folks store your extra plastic bags (and front hall closet would be the WRONG ANSWER), and how do you keep them from taking over the house?

Spring Cleaning

Is there a patron saint for lentils?

I've been busy, busy, busy - but with less driving, yay! Turns out (you see, I forgot, duh) I currently have a licensed driver with HIS OWN CAR living in my house. So the other night, when Rachel texted me to pick her up from school at 5, and Brian was finishing up work at 5:15 during a torrential rainstorm that prevented him from walking home, Theo went out and got everyone, while I stayed home and made dinner.

Folks, that made all the difference. I felt better than I have in months, being able to focus on things I need to do at home, rather than running in and out of the house ALL THE TIME. I made TWO dinners, as a matter of fact - Skillet Lasagna (which, years ago, one of the kids affectionately dubbed Kill It! Lasagna as he stabbed at it with his fork, and yes, the name has stuck) and the miraculous lentil soup, which everyone liked AGAIN and believe me, this rivals the miracle of Fatima, in my book.

Unfortunately, Theo is leaving for a European hiking/Eurail vacation on Saturday, which is just the height of selfishness, in my opinion. Kids these days...

Probably should take them out of those pots...

Susie and I picked up some flowers from Home Depot to adorn our front porch and back deck, so the neighbors don't complain about our trailer trash ways. I haven't exactly planted them yet, but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day, you know.

And, hooray, my bug boyfriend is coming this afternoon! We've had ants crawling out of a crack in the threshold between the kitchen and the front hall for almost a week. I keep squirting Windex down there to try to drown them, because I can't find a trail of them outside heading into the house.

This isn't my first ant rodeo, as you can tell. I'm hoping the bug guy can also do something about the weird, teeny-tiny bugs that are crawling around on the window sills between the inside window and the screen. Of course, this means I have to clean the entire upstairs so my bug boyfriend can go into all the bedrooms and deal with the windows there, too.

I mean, I've heard of cleaning up for the maid, but for the pest exterminator? Crazy, but true.

In fact, I also had to clean out the front hall closet, as it is right near where the ants are entering and I'm sure he'll look in there, too. And, once I tackled that, I realized there was a reason (aside from general laziness, which had been my working hypothesis) that everyone has been leaving their shoes on the foyer carpet and throwing their jackets on the stair railing. You see, the closet was so full of junk, they all just gave up on using it.

And, granted, I was still using the closet-organization system I devised when the kids were little (OMG, 14 YEARS AGO), with 3 baskets on the bottom for them to throw their cute little shoes in. This doesn't work so well when they are all size 8 and up, apparently.

Won't look like this for long, I assure you...

It was time for a change, is what I'm saying.

So I got rid of the baskets (that we had since my babies were little, sob) and replaced them with 2 hanging shoe holders. I swept a mound of dirt out of the closet. I discarded approximately gazillion pairs of old flip flops and sneakers. (Okay, more like 7, but it felt like gazillion.) I pulled all the winter coats out and put them upstairs in their respective owners' rooms. I got rid of the ugly hangers. And, most important of all, I took out the HUGE amount of plastic bags I was saving in that closet for I-don't-know-what reason.

Now, I am a person who has been making a serious effort to cut down on our use of plastic bags. In fact, it infuriates me that they are the default go-to in our supermarkets. It drives me crazy that their use isn't taxed to pay for their recycling/disposal. I HATE PLASTIC GROCERY BAGS.

But it appears I am a major part of the problem. Here, people, is what was in my closet.

Also? These:

Perched unintentionally ironically atop my compost bin...

Also? A whole bunch more in my car, theoretically on their way to the plastic-bag recycling bin at our local Harris Teeter. That's A LOT of plastic bags, people. Apparently, I'm not quite as eco-friendly as I would like to think.

But, hey, there's that compost bin, right?