What's Bugging Me

Oooh, look at me! I decided to change the ol' blog up a bit, sort of a spring cleaning, if you will. What do you think? The new colors are a little bold, I know; but sometimes you just have to make a statement, even if that statement is only "I was bored, so I messed around with my Blogger template."

I think I'm the only blogger who bothers to use semicolons. I feel special.

So, it's been a while since I've shared what I'm reading on the internets, but this article definitely caught my eye. The part where the woman discovers all of the clothing she is wearing is completely covered in teeny-tiny ticks? My brain can make a full-length horror movie out of that image. I mean, just, OMG.

THOUSANDS of these - on her CLOTHES

But, as if that isn't enough to make a bug-phobic person such as myself run screaming in circles around the room, there's the description of this particular new pest - the one that explains that this tick can reproduce simply by cloning itself (GAH).

Scientists, what are you waiting for? Fix this, STAT, before they take over the planet! Thanks.

Looks like we are also going to be invaded this year by the spotted lanternfly, an import from the Far East that decided to pack its bags and see the world. An entomologist from Pennsylvania describes it as "the weirdest, most pernicious insect I've ever seen," while an entomologist from Maryland simply calls it "really a nasty critter."

Think about it - those are people who LIKE bugs. How do you think the rest of us are going to feel about this particular creature, hmmm?

Does NOT have a good reputation, apparently

Long story short, I am dreading the warmer weather, when ants and centipedes once more invade my home, while stinkbugs and cicadas buzz around in great multitudes outside. Do any of you live in Canada? Do you have bugs up there or do your cold winters kill them all off? Would you like a house guest who does dishes and can cook? Talk to me.




[Asian tick image: NPR]
[Lanternfly image: NJ.com]

In The Halls Of Power

So today I did something I haven't done in 26 years of parenting - I chaperoned a public school field trip. I did it out of a sense of civic duty, plus hey, I wanted to go where they were going, anyway, and this way I wouldn't have to drive. I did have to endure a ride on a school bus, though, and yeah, I'd forgotten how sick that makes me feel (it's been, oh, 37 years since I've last experienced that). Plus, I worried all last night that I wouldn't know how to chaperone correctly. It turned out to be pretty simple, though. The teacher gave me a list of 9 kids (including my own Rachel) and said, "Make sure they get on the bus to go there, and make sure they get on the bus to get back."

You know, I LIKE that teacher.

The Holy of Holies, down at the far end there

I ended up with over an hour to wander around on my own and finally managed to see the inside of the Supreme Court building (I've lived in this area for 3 decades now - it's shameful how little I've seen). I was even able to go inside the actual courtroom, as the Court isn't in session right now. Guys, the whole thing is like an American temple, with the steps leading up to the huge columns outside, and inside there is the long marble hall (more columns!) leading to what is, essentially, the curtained inner sanctum of the courtroom itself. I half-expected to see the Ark of the Covenant, sitting up there by the Justices' bench.

That didn't happen.

And we were given tickets to sit in the Senate gallery at the Capitol, where I totally geeked out  recognizing all sorts of Senators down below. (And why is seeing someone in person completely different than seeing them on TV? Tell me.) Schumer, Gillibrand, McConnell, Graham, Kaine...the guard twice had to tell me to sit down as I attempted to see who else was down there.

We had a tour of the Capitol building with a great tour guide, interesting and funny. AND we were all standing in the ....I don't know what you call it, that middle part under the great dome...when Benjamin Netanyahu himself walked through on his way to Paul Ryan's office. He was less than 10 feet from me and I briefly considered shouting, "Stop the settlements!" but decided that I didn't want to be tackled by all those security guards surrounding him.

Sort of wish I had, though.

So, yeah, I did something new and it was fun, and I managed not to be arrested for disturbing the peace, so my day was a win all the way around, I'd say. How was yours?

Vowels Are Important, Redux

Heading to the basement last night to throw in a load of laundry, I spotted Brian settling in for some late-night TV viewing in our family room. "What are you watching?" I asked, hoping it was something I'd like.

"Everything Sex," he said.

"What?"

"Everything Sex," he repeated, looking annoyed.

Now, granted, I don't monitor his TV viewing much. I mean, how? If I banned something on the TV, he'd watch it on his laptop in his room without my knowing, if he really wanted to. And in another 6 months, at college? He'll be able to watch whatever the heck he wants.

Watch at your own risk

So, yeah, I adhere more to the BE AWARE philosophy - that is, know what he's watching so we can discuss it. Still, Everything Sex? Looked to me as if a serious talk was now necessary.

"So, uh, what's that about?" I asked, not really wanting to know.

"It's a 90s show about high schoolers," Brian said, looking annoyed at the parental interrogation.

I took a deep breath. "Look, hon, you DO know that high schoolers aren't really having much sex, don't you? Or if they are, they probably shouldn't be?"

"What?" said Brian, looking confused.

"I mean, a show about high school sex definitely isn't realistic," I continued. Gosh darn it, why can't I sound more intelligent when I talk to the kids about these things?

"WHAT are you talking about?" asked Brian, staring at me as if I had 2 heads.

"What are YOU talking about?" I said. "Isn't the show called Everything Sex?"

Brian smiled. "Everything Sucks," he said. "SUCKS."

Well, never mind then...

Oscars. Also, Worms and Mushrooms

I'm still making myself run (most) mornings. Just a mile and, at best, my "run" is more of a stagger. So add to that the fact it rained this weekend and all the worms (I do mean ALL THE WORMS) came out on the sidewalks to avoid being drowned in their holes (or wherever they live - in the dirt, right?), and you'll understand why there was a bit (okay, A LOT) of weaving added to my stagger, as I attempted to avoid stepping on their gooey selves.

Not because I care about worms, I just find them disgusting, and YES I know they aerate the earth and compost things in their disgusting worm-y bodies. I DON'T CARE.

So my morning jog on Sunday looked more as though I were absolutely drunk and about to fall down. Hi, neighbors! No, really, I'm FINE.

You'll never look at mushrooms
the same way again

In other news, I'm on a mission this week to see as many Oscar-nominated movies as possible, because I have that Oscar party to go to again this year, and I'm downright competitive about it. I've already seen "Get Out" and "LadyBird" and "The Post," so tonight a friend and I took in "Phantom Thread." My official review is that Daniel Day-Lewis was marvelous and the movie was unbelievably weird. Also, I am determined to contribute a mushroom-themed dish to the party on Oscars night. Suggestions are welcome!

I'm hoping to see "Darkest Hour" and "The Shape of Water" sometime before Sunday. I am never, ever going to see "Three Billboards..." though, so don't suggest it.

No matter what, I'll be better prepared than I was way back in 2012, when I had seen only one of the movies and barely knew who any of the nominated actors were (I was coming off of, oh, 20 years of baby-raising and also being flat broke). Someone commented anonymously on that post, claiming she couldn't BELIEVE I was that ignorant and I must be kidding. But hey - she didn't recognize that the title of that particular post alluded to the 70s sitcom "All in the Family."

We all have our little fiefdoms of ignorance, I suppose...

Anyway, now that I can afford movie tickets and have some time I can call my own, I'm in it to win it. Also, I need you all to go see "Phantom Thread" so we can discuss its weirdness, okay? Thanks.






[Phantom Thread image: IMDB]

Ssshhhh - Be Quit!

We're on teens number 4 and 5 around here, and - quite frankly - it's killing me.  Oh, they behave okay and no one is rude much and I generally know where each one is at any particular point of the day or night. But the driving requirements are staggering. Between after school rehearsals and Civil Air Patrol activities for Rachel and Brian's numerous social engagements, I'm on the road enough to make a traveling salesman look like a homebody.

Question: Are traveling salesmen a thing anymore? I'm thinking I may have to update my cultural references here.

Latest food fad in our house

So Rachel had a birthday party to go to last Saturday night, and then Brian made plans to meet friends for the evening and Larry was volunteering to drive them both, both ways, which goes against everything I stand for parenting-wise.

I mean, over the past 15 years or so, I have developed carpooling into a fine art. You've got an activity? A co-op class? A field trip? I've got a carpool for that. My carpooling peeps are on speed dial on my phone, and as soon as I get the faintest whiff of any plans, I'm calling the relevant parties and figuring out the logistics.

Besides, I hate to drive. Especially at night.

So when Larry told me he was planning to drive 2 teens to two separate activities, 20 minutes apart, AND pick them both up later, I automatically swung into action. "Who else is going?" I demanded of a startled Brian. "Anyone we owe rides to? Anyone who lives out our way?"

DEFCON 1 people - that's where I was at.

But Brian was iffy on who was going when, the clock was ticking down (I came late to this discussion), and Larry was all, "I don't mind driving. Really, I don't."

Which, what is wrong with that guy, anyway? Doesn't he realize he has 6 MORE YEARS of this ahead of him? I'm betting he doesn't realize how old and tired he is going to feel a few years from now, being a mere 50 years old at this point and not a haggard almost-55-year-old like myself.

So, uncharacteristically, I decided to stand down on the carpooling issue. I sure as heck didn't want to be tooling around in the dark at 10 PM when I could be home in my jammies, playing card games with Susie. If Larry wants to make driving his hobby, well, who am I to stand in his way?

I fell asleep at 9:30, if you must know. And Susie decided to go to bed then, too, but not before she left a sign for the rest of the family, night owls all:

We're working on the spelling thing, people,
but as you know...homeschooled

Must have worked, because I heard nary a thing as they came in. But the inefficiency of not having carpooled? THAT'S still bothering me...