7 Quick Takes: Morbidity Edition

--- 1 ---

I threw caution to the wind 2 days ago and ate some canteloupe. "What the heck!" reasoned my normally cautious (read “phobic”) self. I mean, the fruit wasn’t from Colorado or anything. But, judging from how I felt yesterday evening, we should avoid the melons from California, also. Anyone want the one left in my fridge?

On the bright side, I can snap my jeans shut now. Who needs Weight Watchers when you can have listeria instead?

--- 2 ---

Actually, after gnawing on half a toasted bagel this morning, I still feel sick.  It occurs to me that, if I up and die, this blog will be the only extant record of my thoughts and feelings, the only indicator that I once walked through and communed via the Internet.  Maybe excerpts should be read at my funeral.  Feel free to suggest which posts would be most suitable.

--- 3 ---

My dad and brother are visiting from NJ and brought bagels from that hallowed place.  If a bagel did have to be my last meal, I'm glad it was a decent NY-type of comestible and not that Einstein Bros garbage we're forced to eat  in this godforsaken part of the country with its poison canteloupe.

--- 4 ---

Is death funny?  Discuss.

--- 5 ---

Whose 14-year-old technical assistant taught her how to use Microsoft Paint to make a slashy-sign thingie?  Who's not very good at it yet?  And who prides herself on knowing the all-important difference between whose and who's?

--- 6 ---

Hint: The answers to #5?  They are all the same.

--- 7 ---

Vote for me.  You have to, because it may be my dying wish.

Jennifer would never joke about death.  For morbidity-free Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

[cantaloupe image: HealBlog.net]

Simon Says

Wow!  I got 2 spam comments today!  That's never happened before.  I feel like a big-time blogger now.

I spent the day enjoying this tour d'esprit on workplace interactions -it gets funnier each time I read it (and yes, I know I am risking the Cheers syndrome here, but I don't care).  I'll even go out on a limb and say that, if you don't find it funny, you are simply dead inside.

Look, if you don't click, you won't know what I'm talking about.  It's worth it, I promise.  Skip voting for me, if you must; but  click on the link to read "10 Formal Complaints" and learn why it's important to have a sense of humor.

You're Welcome

What's beautiful about blogging is realizing just how much we have to share with each other - sorrows, joys, life lessons learned.  And then, well, there is moi - I get to share vomit tips.   Anymommy was complaining about how much she dreaded the stomach flu, as she hated to have to puke into a pee-smelling toilet.  I informed her in the comment section that a much better option for the busy mother of several children is to remain standing and throw up into the kitchen sink (note: make sure said sink has a disposal to get rid of...well, you know...).

I mean, really, have you ever read that bit of advice in a parenting book?  I think not.  Believe me, that was a hard-won piece of knowledge. And - get this - Anymommy pronounced the idea "brilliant."  I am beyond flattered.  I'd no idea I had so much to offer the blogosphere.  Heloise, honey, move over - there's a new gal in town.

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Well!  If that selection of barfing wisdom was worth anything to you, feel free to acknowledge your gratitude by voting for me over at Circle of Moms.  I'm still in it.  Sort of...

[Heloise image: Heloise.com]

Technical Difficulties

For those of you who haven't been able to comment (which seems to have been everyone), I fixed it.  Sarah tells me it is because of the new Blogger interface that I'm using, so I switched back to the old Blogger and updated the post.  That's about as far as my technical expertise will take me, however.  I mean, I didn't even have any idea that I was "interfacing."  So don't start sending emails full of words like "html" and "template" and such - I won't know what to do.  You're dealing with a typing chimp here, remember?

But if you feel like voting for a puzzled primate, go right ahead - I haven't managed to slip down to last place quite yet.

Not Yet Famous

I noticed that someone named "Sears" commented this morning on my post Appliance Mindgames  and for a moment I thought, "At last! I've been recognized as a leading opinion maker and am being offered free appliances from a major appliance manufacturer!"

Amazing what can flit through my mind in approximately half a second, isn't it?

Anyway, the comment in its entirety read thusly:

Your blog really very good and i voted to you. 

Sentiment appreciated, for sure; but apparently my ship has NOT yet come in.

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But at least I have not yet fallen to the bottom of the Big Family blog rankings at Circle of Moms.  Vote for me to save me from certain ignominy and disgrace.  Thanks.