But that's okay - Ms. Palin is way more photogenic than I am. How does she pull off that sexy schoolmarm look, anyway? Will someone tell me, please?
It does look as though the Republicans have figured out that to achieve, say, a settlement between the Israelis and the Palestinians, they don't need some politician who doesn't know squat about making people get along; they need, instead, someone who has spent at least 15 years forcing her children to coexist somewhat peaceably. I can picture Ms. Palin sitting down with those recalcitrant Middle Easterners now:
Ms. Palin: Okay, fellas, what seems to be the problem here?
Mahmoud Abbas: Well, they started it; they came in and took our land and...
Ehud Olmert: Liar! The UN said we could have it. They voted and everything!
Mahmoud Abbas: Oh, yeah? Well, they didn't say you could kick us out!
Ehud Olmert: We didn't kick you out - you ran away. Babies!
Ms. Palin: Boys! Boys! What's past is past. There seem to be several sticking points to negotiations here. Let's look at this Jerusalem issue. It seems you both want it, and you're not willing to share.
Mahmoud: We were sharing, but they took our piece!
Ehud: We took your piece because you were going to take our piece!
Mahmoud: Liar, liar, pants on fire!
Ms. Palin: It's clear that you two cannot get along. What we'll have to do is take turns. Mahmoud, I'm going to set this timer. You can have Jerusalem for, oh, 6 months; and then Ehud here can take the next 6 months.
Ehud: How come he gets it first?
All I can say, Ms. Palin, is that you have your work cut out for you. And, hon, if you do end up living in the Vice Presidential mansion, please refrain from dismissing your chef because you want to cook for your own family (as you did when Governor). It makes the rest of us women look bad, all right?
Or, you could send him to me - I'll be glad to cede my kitchen duties for 4 years. No problem.