Monday, September 01, 2008

Sock It To Me

I've been wondering why I can never find a matched pair of socks for Susie when I need it. Well, the mystery has been solved. I excavated her sock/underwear drawer and analyzed what I found - 2 lonely pairs (over there on the left) and 17 single socks: 6 pink, 4 purple, 3 green, 2 yellow, and 2 white (with lace cuffs). All completely different from each other.



Tell me, how is it possible for a 3-year-old child to already own more than a dozen mismatched socks? Where do the mates go? It is conundrums like this that eat away at my soul, bit by bit, until there is nothing left of me but a half-crazed woman roaming the aisles at Target, searching fruitlessly for a pack of all-white little girl socks.

Fruitlessly, I say, because you cannot buy a whole bunch of socks in the same color. You have to buy them in packages of 6, and heaven forbid that you should be able to find a package that has less than 4 different colors in it. So you buy the assorted colors, and when some socks disappear, you think, "Ha, ha - I'm no dummy. I'll go back and buy another pack of the same kind, and then I'll have spares!"

Well, that's what I think, anyway. I know, I'm so clever. So I go back to Target and buy another pack and I bring it home and discover that the socks are not precisely the same kind as the socks I bought previously, because the evil sock manufacturers change the design every 6 weeks or so. Just to make me crazy.

Yes, that's right - while some women can manage to raise 5 children while governing an entire state, I cannot even manage to dress my kids in socks that match. Which probably explains why no one has asked me to be Vice President...

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36 comments:

  1. It is one of life's great mysteries. Let me know if you figure it out, because I'm clueless.

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  2. I'm pretty sure the sock thing is the only reason. I heard it was between the two of you but her kids' socks matched so she just edged you out.

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  3. And did I read right, she just had one of those little curmudgins in 2008? And she continues to run a state AND...is she the V.P. candidate to boot? She should still be sitting at home nursing her baby, watching the others running around and wondering where she put her fresh cup of coffee...two hours ago! That's what I do! :)

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  4. Hm. I stopped caring whether my kids' socks matched a long time ago - if they can find two clean socks whose holes are not immediately noticeable, I'm content. Is this because I have only boys, or what?

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  5. But would you really want the job?

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  6. My theory is that the Sock Rapture has already occurred and the socks remaining at your house and mine were the unsaved....Sock Theology, if you will.....
    Blessings!

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  7. ugh. this is where boys socks rock. they do come in mega packages and I currently have all the boys wearing the same size because I am mean that way...I know! Only the middle child is wearing socks that actually fit so I am sure they will be complaining to a podiatrist about me some day. Better a podiatrist then a psychiatrist?

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  8. You know what? I spent all this time trying to match my kids' socks, to have them BOTH tell me that they LIKE wearing mismatched pairs. They were pulling the pairs apart to mix and match.

    Well, now that I'm over the embarassment, it sure saves me a lot of time.

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  9. I don't have a problem with socks - they always come back to me in pairs. What I would like to know, is why the pajamas don't have matching tops and bottoms. Socks are little, I think they sneak out the dryer vent. How is it a pair of pajama bottoms can go missing?

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  10. I always use to throw the missing sock back into the laundry basket thinking it would come out in the next wash - but it never seemed to happen that way.

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  11. Oh, the socks. I have a huge basket of lonely socks. Probably 50 or more. I can't get rid of them. What if their mates come back?

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  12. Great post title! lol

    I so feel your pain. I stopped buying colored socks years ago when I figured out the sock industry conspiracy. Every so often I throw out all socks for a certain kid and go buy 12-18 pairs of ONE type/color. Then when one gets a hole it just gets thrown away and there is an odd sock that waits in the orphaned sock basket until the next one gets a hole. It has made my sock-life so much more peaceful.

    May the force be with you.

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  13. Socks, socks, socks. I gave away an entire basket of pair socks. Couldn't stand to figure who they fit.

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  14. Where DO those socks go? Do they take one off and fling it out the car window when we're not looking?

    I gave it all up and only bought white socks for the kids. Life's too short to match different-colored socks!

    angelawd

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  15. I love OcataMom's theory about the Sock Rapture! LOL!!

    And I thought that one of the perks of being a homeschooler was that no one asks you to wear shoes. I know we don't...

    Personally, I'm still looking for a package of all white undies for The Girl. Who needs orange-and-blue undies showing through her pink shorts?!

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  16. Dead on! Little known to the average person, there is a sock fairy who waits till everyone is in bed asleep and then steels to the laundry basket and swipes as many single socks as possible. She usually will return to put them somewhere cleverly hidden once you have thrown away the ones that no longer have mates. NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU WAIT TO THROW THEM OUT!

    Watch out, she's a stinker!

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  17. LOL!! I still say that the sock monster IS real! I will only buy my children white socks. I don't even care if the actual socks match when they put them on. If they are white, that's close enough!

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  18. Yes, alala, I think it's because you only have boys. I, too, would be thrilled with socks that were reasonably similar, but the grief of my 7 yr old sweetie pie on the anticipation of her socks not matching perfectly (each other AND the outfit) is mighty indeed.
    As for the missing socks, I marvel that we are able to keep ANY of the socks under control. Who knows where or when the mood will strike to change clothes? When you are 7, it has to happen Right Now! I have found socks (alone and in pairs) in every nook and cranny of the 3 floors of our house, in both of the family autos, in the garage, and in the backyard.
    -- Susie Q

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  19. Maybe there's an "Island of Misfit Socks", just like the "Island of Misfit Toys" in that Rudolph special . . .

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  20. My dryer eats my socks...it creeps me out! It's definitely not ME losing them...and my kids say they don't do it...so it has to be the dryer!

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  21. I JUST found four unmatched socks whose mates have been waiting patiently for the others to return. Thankfully, I just leave them on the dryer until I find the mates. Amazingly, I have found those "little buggers" INSIDE of sleeves, pant legs, etc. Who wants to search the insides of every load of laundry?

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  22. That is so odd. I'm glad to report that my kids have odd socks too, but because they keep wearing holes in them. Fortunately boy socks are mostly all white and easy to match up if I don't look too closely.

    I think McCain didn't pick you because you're a "Washington insider."

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  23. Is it just me or does Target not replenish their sock and underwear inventory frequently enough? It seems they're almost always out of the popular sizes. Popular being = the ones I need.

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  24. My kids socks rarely match either. :) For the same reasons, although I've found that if you check under their beds you'll find a LOT of the missing mates! :)
    I found a store that sells socks in 3 packs. As well as gloves. And they all are complementary patterns/colors, but no two are the same. So there's no more worry aof "matching". I think that might be what my kids get next time they are in need of socks!

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  25. Socks are always a problem. Here we seem to have the same problem with my husband's socks as well. :(

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  26. The missing socks show up in the weirdest places. I found 1 of a pair inside a boot a few years ago. I should check the inside before I store them each spring? It is hard enough to remember to wash them and get them air dried before summer starts.

    I'm only responsible for hubbys sock matching and my own. I throw all the girls odd socks into their clean clothes baskets when I sort the laundry. They can either match their own or mismatch them. Of course, some of my kids have distinctive patterns for their socks, which make it really easy to sort them. Bright flourescent colors belong to #4, harry potter socks belong to #6, star wars socks belong to #7. And I still have a 1 1/2 bushel basket full of socks that rarely get matched. It's much easier to buy new ones. :)

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  27. Oh yes. You are not alone. My husband has found me weeping next to the washing machine, repeating "why, why, why????" It's true. Sort of.

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  28. Every Christmas I buy all my kids about twelve pairs of new socks and then I just throw out their ENTIRE sock drawer. Scary but true. :)

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  29. I love it! So true! I have a sock box that is always overflowing! So I will never be VP either!

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  30. i totally buy my daughter boy socks.

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  31. The only thing I really hope about heaven is that there are no socks there. I don't think I could take socks beyond this life - my odd socks box has in excess of 60 mismatched socks.

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  32. Why can we put people on the moon (theoretically) and yet can not solve the problem of where the socks go? This makes me insane!
    My kids all wear each others' socks. It doesn't work all that well, and it is sort of gross, but I don't care.

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  33. ok...it looks as though some of those are close enough to make a suitable match to the kind of look-a-like!! :)
    I mean its better than having one pink sock and one yellow sock.
    or.......buy them all crocs for the summer and mammoth crocs for the winter:)

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  34. That's why I never bothered with matching socks. Who's going to see them if you're in pants? And if you're in shorts, just wear sandals. At least, this was my philosophy before I had kids. Then, the first time I grabbed mismatched socks for my son, I thought, "No way. People will think I'm a bad mom- crap... I've become my mother." Now, my socks still never match, but his usually do (although I'm getting much better at ignoring it when they don't).

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  35. Didn't you hear that there is a sock heaven? When you put socks {in pairs} in the washing machine, then in the dryer, some socks decided to go to sock heaven. :) We have the same problem at our house. I have an overflowing basket full of single socks...even though they went in the laundry in pairs ?!?

    Goo dluck finding your socks. :)

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  36. DON'T get me started! Too late, this is my pet peeve. I have the same Target moments. I go all over the house collecting stray socks and keep them together, and do you know what they do? They have little babies. Identical, but like 4 sizes smaller than them. Or big socks 10 sizes bigger than any foot in our house show up. It's like the Bermuda Triangle of socks at my house. Here's the only way to keep socks on everyone's feet for sure. http://www.littlemissmatched.com

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