Friday, September 10, 2010

7 Quick Takes: Middle-Aged Marriage Advice


Fine!  Nobody volunteered to take my kids yesterday; so I ended up lying on the couch all day and throwing candy at them myself.  Actually, it wasn't too bad a day that way.  Maybe I should make it a monthly tradition.

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I went out to dinner this evening with a friend, even though I still have the head cold from hell.  That way I avoided the Catch-22 rule of spousal sickness - husbands hate hearing their wives complain, but how else are they supposed to know when we're too sick to feed the over-sugared kids their dinner?  Should I have rolled over and played dead when Larry walked in the door?  

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As a newly-engaged ingenue 20 years ago, I had the temerity to tell a long-married friend that Larry and I would never argue, because we got along together so well.  How she managed to not laugh in my face is beyond me.

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Husbands!  When you walk in the door after a hard day's work, do bring your peri-menopausal, hot-flash-enduring wife a nice glass of ice water.  She'll love you for it.  And then you won't have to hear her whine, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"  Because, yes, we 40-something women really do say that.

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Wives!  Your husband does not want to hear about the children's numerous misdeeds the minute he comes home  (especially the teen daughter stuff).  Save it for when he's trying to go to sleep at night instead.  Then you can both lie there in the dark for a couple of hours and wonder aloud why you thought you were cut out for this parenting gig in the first place.  Trust me, it's a bonding experience.


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Husbands!  When your formerly camping-averse wife decides that what the family needs is a deluxe pop-up camper to go tooling around the country in, keep a close eye on your checking account.  You have no idea to what extremes a bug-phobic spouse (formerly known as frugal) will go in order to avoid the bedbug scourge currently enveloping our nation.  $8000 for a used camper that comes with its own toilet and shower?  Sounds like a bargain to me!

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It's true - a veritable plague of flat, wingless, bloodsucking hemipterous insects  is descending upon us - coming soon to a hotel near you!


Check out ConversionDiary.com for more 7 Quick Takes.  Her obsession is scorpions, not bedbugs...






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9 comments:

  1. LOL...
    Don't let the bed bugs bite is one of the worst comments EVER! I mean how do you stop them if you have them? Silly.
    Sorry about the head cold...I currently have three sick kids...including the baby. I hate that :(
    I too am camping averse...I keep thinking that we need a Mega Winnebago! If my husband ever loses his job, we'll rent out the house, buy a Winnebago and tour the country for a year a la "Promised Land"...I loved that show...it was good for homeschoolers :)
    Have a good weekend...Pax!

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  2. So many things . . . We've got that head cold. don't worry, only two more weeks of it to go . . .

    We've been watching my BIL and his new-ish spouse and new baby dissolve from "We just never fight," to fighting in front of us. At or house. It's been fun.

    That camper is awesome. Just the sort of thing we've been contemplating.

    Bedbugs. Yercch.

    L'Shana Tova!

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  3. You'll never fight- Giggle. Me too, my husband and I never fight either.

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  4. I have to agree that your friend showed extreme and admirable restraint in not laughing in your face.

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  5. That? Slays me that you thought you and Larry would never fight. I bet she told EVERYONE you said that!

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  6. Ugh! We have that stupid cold!! Thirty years and my husband and I still NEVER fight! Are you giggling yet?
    We argue. We ignore. But fight?? LOL!!!
    Never go to bed angry. Stay up all night and plot your revenge!
    Mary
    marynate.blogspot.com

    Followed you from, no idea! I think it was "Don Bosco."

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  7. I see your bedbug phobia and raise you one case of feline tapeworms (in an INDOOR cat who doesn't hunt and who doesn't have fleas--it's like the immaculate infection) that "probably won't" pass onto the kids. But just in case, let's do three stool samples. Twice each.

    Want a cat?

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  8. I had that cold- I feel for you.

    My family of 8 had a temp camper like that but without the toilet and shower. We kids mostly still slept outside with the busg - but they were not of the bedbug variety, to be sure.

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  9. I grew up camping in a tent trailer like that. Six people, no toilet, no shower. And my parents fought. Good times.
    I'm now a committed tent camper. It helps me avoid the flashbacks.

    Also, I refuse to click on your bedbug links. The stinkbugs are bad enough (and getting worse)!

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