Thursday, May 07, 2009

Suggested Syllabus

Shelley weighed in on yesterday's post with a comment too good not to share:

Awesome. If teenage girls could major in Getting a Clue, just think of the required courses:

GAC 101 - An Intro to Life
GAC 102 - An Intro to Life, Part II
GAC 110 - Money Really Doesn't Grow On Trees
GAC 112 - Getting a Job
GAC 140 - Not Only Doing Your Homework, But Actually Turning It In. On Time.

GAC 201 - Navigating The Mall Without Spending $100

GAC 205 - Intro to the Dollar Movie Theater
GAC 230 - Makeup and Clothing - How To Not Resemble a Whore

Thank you, Shelley, for the laugh today. Anyone else out there care to play?


  1. Personally GAC - 302 It's Not Just About You is my absolute fav and I have your first student sitting right here glaring at me for daring limit her telephone use because oh I don't's MY phone and I might want to use it.

    I would also like to suggest GAC 305 - Your Siblings Exist....Live With It.

  2. Is there a HeadStart program available for precocious 7-year-old girls...who will only wear 2 of a dresser full of shirts...and when both are heaven forbid, DIRTY, ask me to check the dryer to see if either are there?
    (Don't worry, I refuse, but really...please consider some prep courses.... ;) )

    Hysterical post!

  3. That's hilarious. I saw an "Application to date my daughter" that was pretty funny. I wish I had a copy of that to share with you. Hope that you make it through raising teenagers. I have nine years before I hit that stage.

  4. AnonymousMay 07, 2009

    GAC 300: How to manage a reply without eyerolling
    GAC 302: Walls and Doors- they are not soundproof
    GAC 322: Theories in Appreciation (you haven't paid for anything yet)

  5. Good ones!

    I got nothing to add, really, but I don't have teenagers yet. I think I would sign up for any of these classes, though.


  6. These are fabulous!
    how about:
    501: We ZDO NOT OWE you a car.
    Followed by:
    502: Get a JOB...Get a better job...
    get two jobs if you have to!

    Oh, sorry, our "teen" is 25!

  7. Those were good---gotta admit.

  8. The Truth 101: The Earth Revolves Around the Sun--Not You!

  9. Sigh. Can we add some specifically for Teenage Boys? Like

    GAC 160: Yes, You Do Need to Shower Every Day
    GAC 170: Belts, in Theory and in Practice
    GAC 240: Closet Theory - How to Put Away Your Clothes

  10. Hmmm...interesting idea...but I think the closet theory class could be co-ed. One of these days I'm going to take a picture of how my daughter uses a hanger.

  11. So hilarious. My daughter would flunk all of these.

  12. AnonymousMay 08, 2009

    GAC 402 -- Boys: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Or, There's a Reason Your Parents Don't Like Him and It's For Your Own Good.

  13. Wait a minute. Are you telling me that there are other kids, even girls, who do their homework and don't hand it in? Seriously? I thought my 13 year old son was the only kid who did this! It drives me crazy. Please sign him up for this class.

  14. cndymkr/jean I have a 12 yo boy and a 14 yo girl who BOTH do their homework and then forget to turn it in. It drives me up the wall! They're slowly getting better but you are not alone!

    How about 360: The Car Will Not Fill Itself Up with Gas (I distinctly remember needing this class myself as a teen)

  15. I don't have teenagers, but I encounter these kids shortly thereafter in an employment context. So, I offer some postgraduate courses:

    GAC 503 Your Employer Expects You to Show Up On Time
    GAC 505 (prerequisite, GAC 505) Every Day
    GAC 507 (prerequisites, GAC 503, GAC 505) Yes, Really.
    GAC 509 What to Wear to Work (hint: bellies, thighs and feet should be covered)
    GAC 511 (prerequisite GAC 509) Even if it Covers Bellies, Thighs and Feet, If It Makes You Look Like a Prostitute, It's Not Work Attire.

    There's also a summer seminar on things not to share with co-workers *shudders*.

  16. I missed this post the first time so I am so glad you linked to it! Brilliant! Absolutly brilliant and everyones comments! Astounding! Seriously, I can't wait until my oldest gets home from scout camp so we can discuss this course list!