Larry left me again. Until Thursday, anyway. Maybe it's because I woke him up on New Year's night to announce that I heard a mouse in our bedroom.Let's dwell on that for a minute:
A MOUSE
IN OUR BEDROOM
Unfortunately, we had just hosted our New Year's Day party for the neighborhood. Meaning, almost every single thing we own had been thrown into our bedroom in our typical pre-party cleaning frenzy. It's like sleeping in the attic, only less cozy. So! The odds of our finding the errant rodent amidst that clutter were practically nil. Needle in a haystack and all that - although it was a very noisy needle, I must say.
Not that Larry didn't give it the old college try, mind you. He jumped out of bed (but only after ascertaining that that rustling-paper sound was not merely a figment of my imagination), flicked on the overhead light and commenced crawling around our piles of junk in a futile effort to locate noisy old Mickey. Considering he was wearing only underwear, this would have been a photo-worthy moment; but the camera was downstairs, and the mouse lay somewhere between me and the bedroom door. A Pulitzer-Prize winning opportunity lost, I'm telling you...
He didn't find it. So, being male, Larry shrugged his shoulders, turned off the light, and went back to bed. Within minutes, he was snoring soundly while I lay wide awake, calculating the odds of my tripping over the mouse as I dashed out the bedroom door to the (theoretically) rodent-free safety of our living room couch.
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| This is Larry, only he didn't have any doughnuts. |
[Mouse photo credit: mus-musculus.com]
[Homer Simpson image: the jailbreak.com]
Last week, the cat laid a mouse to rest in my wife's shoe. I calmly and chivalrously disposed of it for her. Then I teased her about for a couple days like the crappy pile of testosterone that I am.
ReplyDeleteI begged my husband to swat a loudly buzzing fly on the bedroom ceiling a few weeks ago..and he was in the altogether... please don't try to imagine it.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I keep my guest room habitable at all times -- you never know when you will need to escape!
Some people might find that photo at the top to be cute. Not me! I was already planning how to string up a hammock that might keep me out of range of said mousy. But I don't think the living room was far enough away... I would have gone out to sleep in the van!
ReplyDeleteYou have my sympathy. Also, if you need a mouse-free bedroom, I have a guest bed at my house. Let me know.
I went to Job Lot for the first time in years last month, with all three kids in tow. What did I see scurry across the aisle right in front of me? Yep. NEVER GOING THERE AGAIN. The 2yo said "Mouse poop" all the way home, while her brothers snorted in laughter. (That's because I said, "Where there's a mouse, there's mouse poop, and mouse poop carries diseases, we're leaving RIGHT NOW."
ReplyDeleteAlso, my husband has been giving me dates left and right for his spring travel schedule. I kind of hate him, but I'd better get damn nice handspun yarn from Chile. I'm more or less demanding it.
When I first saw the Homer picture, I thought maybe the donuts were a mouse trap. You know, Larry went back to sleep with enticing food placed carefully, waiting for the mouse to come visit his stomach, and then he'd grab him!
ReplyDeleteYou totally need a pet rat. My wife was thrilled---yes, thrilled--when our rat visited us Christmas morning last year in bed. He was pretty excited to have found our bed as well and ran around on the blanket like a madman ...er, rat.
ReplyDelete~Luke
When you went back to retreive the blanket, you should have spread some peanut butter on Larry's toes. Perhaps if the little mouse was nibbling on his feet, he might have tried just a bit harder to get rid of it.
ReplyDeleteHeh--we had a mouse back in October. Which I would have totally never known about except the cat went beserk chased it under the bookcase (as witnessed by a guest in the house) and remained belly-down, tail twitching, in front of the bookcase for *hours*. Best. Cat. Toy. Ever.
ReplyDeleteI was pretty sure that the mouse had other things on its tiny mind than visiting my bedroom, though, so I slumbered in confidence, and went off to work in the AM. On my way home I thought, 'gee, I should pick up some traps'. No need. When I arrived home, the stiff mousy little corpse was waiting for me in the living room (fortunately intact) and the cat was pacing proudly back and forth in front of the food dish. (Mice are apparently not nearly as tasty as cat food.) No mice troubles since...I think word has gotten around the mouse community!
I'll never forget the day I was eating breakfast with my children in the dining room and a mouse appeared from behind my china cabinet and RAN ALONG THE CHAIR RAIL TOWARD ME. It was a day I was glad to have an overabundance of cats.
ReplyDeleteI recommend a cat that will eat mice AND centipedes. Seriously!! We humans are SO not up to the job.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! Just remember that the mouse isn't interested in you -- really! He'll leave you alone unless you've got crumbs in the bed.
This has been a good year for mice, apparently. I thought I was the only one suffering, but I happened to mention it to a neighbor and he said the mice have been awful at his house, too. There's comfort knowing you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteWe haven't seen any this year. Maybe have 2 cats, one indoor only, one who goes outside and inside, works?
ReplyDeleteBetween no dishwasher and your pest invasions it's like your a pioneer!
ReplyDelete@Jenn - Only, much less stoic...
ReplyDeleteOK, I am forcing my husband to read this. For two reasons. First, so he will know that we are not the only ones to have ever had a mouse in our bedroom and that a mouse's presence does not mean we completely and totally suck. Second, so he can see that a mouse's presence need not be met by insane, crazy, irrational panic. At least by him. By me, maybe...but not by him.
ReplyDeleteIf someone had told me, back when i was engaged, that I would be the brave one where rodents are concerned, I may have called off the wedding.
I'm with ya, sister! A mouse in my bedroom closet had me trapped on my bed for hours--and I had to go to the bathroom! You are a much braver soul than I!
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago: in the air vent, which was above my head in bed. Hoping it couldn't go through the grate (yes it probably could) or would have the sense not to fall out ten feet (who knows).
ReplyDeleteGone now and the system repaired and hole closed that they chewed to get in. But man was it awful.
Maybe you can borrow a neighbor's cat for a little while?
I am so glad to know that I am not the only one who cleans like this for a party. Mouse, not fun. My daughter heard one in her ceiling the other night. She came and slept with us, you could have crawled in bed with one of the kids.
ReplyDelete