And Larry did give me chocolates and flowers today, despite the deal I struck with him yesterday. He explained, "Of course I was going to take those things back to IKEA for you. I didn't want you to go - who knows what else you would have come home with!" So there you have it, folks - he was acting out of self-interest, or so he claims.
I hope you all had a pleasant day, and do listen to that poem - you'll never be able to look at a child-crafted lanyard again without smiling.