Thursday, March 03, 2016

Dog Days

My neighbor just got a puppy. A good friend got a dog last year. A knitting friend got a dog 2 months ago, after saying she definitely DID NOT WANT A DOG.

And what I am saying here now is I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME. No matter how much my children beg. No matter how much my middle-aged friends insist it has given them a new lease (leash?) on life. No matter how much Larry sits around sighing reminiscently over his childhood dog Ginger.

Oh, I get it, people - it's like having a new baby. Having a dog gives the family something to bond over, something that is actually glad to see you when you get home (unlike the teenage dementors you seem to have raised). What's more, it will never, ever turn into a surly adolescent that will make you feel like crap 24/7. What's not to love?

Oh, sure, THIS end is cute.
Well, poop, for one thing. PICKING UP POOP, mind you, with your HAND.  Look, I've had 6 babies. I've wiped more poop than I care to remember. But all that poop-wiping was for individuals who are supposed to grow up and become independent and maybe even support me in my old age (or, at least, hire someone to change my adult diapers). Dogs, in case you don't realize it, NEVER potty train. They NEVER grow up. And you never stop having to get them babysitters when you go away.

Also? They lick their private parts and then lick your face.

So, yeah, it's still a no for me.


[Puppy image: Pleasantwalls]


  1. So when are you bringing your new fur baby home?

  2. I've watched more than a few friends get saddled with a new puppy when their kids were in their upper teens. I asked one of them, "You do realize your daughter goes off to college next year, and having a dog means no freedom to come and go as you please, don't you?" "Oh, but he's so cute!" Said friend is now grateful, several years later to be dogless again, and has no intentions of looking back!

    I did tell my 16 year old that he could raise a puppy to be a guide dog if he was willing to give him up in two years. It may be the smartest thing I ever said.

    Stay strong!

    1. I've offered the girls the guide dog puppy option, too!

  3. Stay firm. I'm with you on this one. No creatures of fur in my house either. I just can't handle all that hair.

  4. Steel yourself. No is a fine word to use in this case.
    Buuuut, just in case, what will you name it? ;)

  5. I waited to get a dog until the kids agreed to pick up the dog poop in the yard. And then we adopted an older dog, so no one had to potty train him.
    I only pick up poop on walks. Then I broke my ankle and haven't even taken the poor pup walking in months!

  6. I'm with you. I keep telling my kids they can get a dog when they have their own place. We have two cats now that no one will take care of but me and I know a dog would be worse - as they like to go outside to use the bathroom at the crack of dawn regardless of whether it is a Tuesday or a Sunday. And who would be the one taking it out??? ME!!!! So, NO!

  7. The poop is the deal breaker for me. I love dogs. Just love them. But. I will not pick up poop! A cat on the other hand? I'd get one tomorrow if my husband would let me. They bury their own poop, and they don't care if you go on vacation.

  8. And not just poop (of which there are copious amounts) -- there's the wet dog smell, or even worse: the dog-needs-a-bath smell.

  9. I like dogs in general, but I can't stand my dogs, who are loud, dirty, and obnoxious. Stay firm!

  10. As an adult, I have discovered that I apparently have a two-dog quota. I can have one dog temporarily, but another dog always finds me. I can make "no" work if I have two dogs, but if I'm down to one dog, I'm just a dog away from completion. Poop and all.

  11. Oh, you're stronger than me! My daughter worked at a vet's office and I never knew how many people abandoned their pets there, but I sure know now. We adopted 3 of them over the years. It's just our life now. We actually love them all, but the hub's biggest complaint is picking up the poo.

  12. Here's a fun discovery for us: a dog can go senile and bark and bark for no good reason. I think he forgets he got fed and is trying to get fed. It's awful. I did not want a dog. I cannot wait to not have a dog again.