Saturday, September 16, 2017

I Miss Ice Cream

Look at that - I survived an entire day without having a medical problem. I ate semi-normally (no fat, but still), I managed not to pierce my body with rust-covered pieces of metal, I exercised and ran errands like a normal person...

I'd kill for a Heath Klondike bar, though. KILL.

My preciousssss...

You know what bothers me? I've been pretty much starving for over 2 weeks, so you'd think some of my pants would at least be hanging a tad loosely on me. Is that too much to ask? I don't think so. But no, nothing's changed on this body of mine. Maybe I'm just losing weight on the inside? Is that possible?

The doctor last night at Urgent Care called me "young lady." It was disconcerting, to say the least. I can't even remember the last time someone called me that. Actually, it doesn't matter WHAT age you are, "young lady" always sounds condescending. So I punched him in the nuts.

LOL, no. Just wanted to see if anyone was actually reading...

The other day, I took one of the old ladies I work for to the supermarket to pick up glucose strips and Lean Cuisines. She has a small chest freezer in her garage, so I followed her in there to see if she needed help putting the frozen dinners away. I noted the presence of what seemed to be several large spiders and - not being freaked out much by spiders, believe it or not - I moved in for a closer look, to make sure she wasn't harboring a dangerous species in there. Also, I'll admit, to take a picture, so I could freak out Brian, who most definitely does NOT like spiders. Ha, ha, I thought, he'll hate these.

They weren't spiders.

I spent the next 5 minutes in that garage trying not to scream, as my client fussed over how I put the Lean Cuisines away, and promising myself I wouldn't set foot in there ever again. Because CRICKETS - large, dark crickets were on the walls and the ceiling. Everywhere I turned my head, I saw a cricket. Just sitting there, waiting to jump in my hair when I wasn't looking.


I most emphatically do not do crickets. I wrote a semi-hysterical email to my client's daughter, letting her know that I would no longer be able to put things away in the garage freezer for her mom. I'm sure my supervisor is thrilled I did that.

Turns out, judging from how unimpressed he was with my story, Brian doesn't mind crickets. Maybe I'll have him help her.

[Klondike bar image: Klondike]


  1. We're they those ugly camel hump crickets? They love damp places. My old house's basement was infested with those hideous creatures. Shudder!

  2. Oh I hate crickets so much! Especially those jumpy "cave crickets " which I'm assuming are what this lady had. I've heard you can get rid of it then by leaving the lights on 24/7.

  3. Big crickets! Aaaargh! Oh I would have screamed. Funny how spiders wouldn't do the same thing to me but they just don't freak me out either. I burst out laughing when you said you punched him. Ha!

  4. Camel crickets are the worst! Scary things.

  5. I still want you to punch the first doctor (the one who called you about blood test results but couldn't recall why you needed the blood tests and then wasn't concerned about you not eating).
    Could the client's family manage to bug-bomb the garage? That would take care of the crickets, yes?

  6. Also? I love the Heath bar klondikes. My father in law introduced us years ago and it was love at first bite. I can't have them in the house or I eat them all. I hope you get your stomach thing fixed up soon so you can have them again!

  7. Any news with the urgent care doctor? One of my neighbors called me child one time. Never did like him.