Sunday, September 10, 2017

Near Death Experience

I haven't blogged in a week, because I was waiting until my stomach didn't hurt, because I was sick of whining.

My stomach still hurts.

I spent a while on Tuesday lying on my bed and wondering whether or not I should go to the ER. The pain felt like one of those female heart attack scenarios one reads about in the Health section of newspapers. Then, being lazy, I decided to wait 2 hours. If I weren't dead by then, I'd know it wasn't a heart attack. I'm scientific like that.

So that worked well, as in I was still alive after the experiment. In pain, but alive. Felt better Wednesday and Thursday (whew!), started to get my life back together, and then was laid low again Thursday night. Get this - I actually went to the doctor on Friday. I know, crazy, right? She ordered all sorts of blood tests - liver enzymes, pancreatic enzymes, I don't know what all - scheduled a non-urgent sonogram of my innards, complimented my knitting, and sent me home.

I spent the next four hours or so imagining every dire gastrointestinal scenario possible and sorting my yarn into projects I wanted to complete before I died. There were the fingerless mitts I had promised a friend, way back in April; another pair of mitts to use the yarn another friend had brought me all the way from Italy; a couple of baby hats for the grandchildren I'd never get to meet...

Deathbed Knitting

You know, I'm thinking no one does maudlin as well as me.

At some point, my Sensible Friend (who knew I'd been dealing with stomach pain) thought to call and see how I was. I told her about the multiple fatal illnesses I had diagnosed myself with and she said, essentially, "Oh, pooh, it's probably pancreatitis. I've had it, and I'm still here. Hurts like crazy, though."

She's a good friend. I'm still knitting those baby hats, though.

So here I am, Sunday, and still in pain. But, hey, that's only when I try to eat something, so technically the pain is avoidable. I mean, who needs food, anyway? Not me, apparently...


  1. Well that sounds like the worst weight loss plan ever. Here's hoping those results come back soon. The waiting and worrying can't be much fun either.

  2. OK, at first I thought you had gastritis but now I think your gallbladder's gone south. I'm very glad you went to the doctor, because their guesses are more apt to be right.

  3. Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry! I just looked up pancreatitis which did not make me feel better. Perhaps this will help?
    And YES, knit those baby hats, if only because it will make you feel better.

  4. I hope you get answers soon! The combo of pain and worry is no good. And the not being able to eat makes everything worse!

  5. Oh dear! Praying for you that it turns out to be some simple thing. Sorry about the pain and the inability to eat!

  6. This just sounds so rotten! Hope the doctors fix you up SOON! I hate eating a meal late. NOT EATING! No thanks!

  7. In the event that it helps in any way...this line had me on the floor. "If I weren't dead by then, I'd know it wasn't a heart attack. I'm scientific like that." And while I was rolling on the floor I was nodding my head in agreement, because I'm the same about going to the doctor.

    I really hope the doctor figures out what it is and fixes it.

  8. That knitting basket is wonderfully neat. Get well soon!

  9. Are you certain you don't play a doctor on television? :)

    Hope you're feeling better soon...sounds like a nasty bit of tummy trouble.

  10. Gall bladder maybe? That was pretty painful for me. Now I have "phantom pains." The Dr said I need to eat low/no fat foods. That's no fun.