Holding Pattern

 Hi! Still here, still alive, still completely intact - apparently, it takes longer than I thought to schedule surgery dates, etc. The first surgery (ovaries/tubes/uterus) won't take place until 17 April, and I swear, if I had know it would be that long, I wouldn't have posted so early about it! Now I just feel like a drama queen, oooh, everyone, look at me!

So, uh, sorry about that.

Spring happened, though, there's that

In the meantime, we've been busy here. For Valentine's Day, Larry and I went on a date to the plastic surgeon, where we were treated to WAY too much detail about reconstructive breast surgery. I went home overwhelmed by the choices and was up with anxiety half the night. And here, my friends, is where female solidarity comes into play: Did you know that apparently it is a thing for post-mastectomy/reconstruction women to immediately volunteer to show you their boobs if you are facing the same situation? It's sort of like men showing off a new car.

So I've seen real-life fake boobs and they look completely normal and NOTHING like the pictures the doctor was pulling up from the web during our consultation. At which point I calmed down and gave the go-ahead on the whole shebang (no idea where that word came from, but it's staying), and now I'm due to have that done on 15 June. My post-op appointment is on the 21st, which is not exactly how I had planned to spend my 60th birthday, but life is weird like that.

What's also weird is that crocheted bags keep showing up randomly
all over the house, as Susie is obsessed with her new hobby

So this whole thing has been a lot of hurry up and wait, which isn't fun, but yay, there is always knitting to do and also job applications, the filling out of which has become a new hobby of mine, apparently. I was laid off almost 3 YEARS AGO, and yeah, I'll admit that at first I enjoyed the break and the luxury of having all that time to do whatever I wanted, especially since I still had a houseful of COVID refugees. But my brain is screaming for something to do (something PAID), and not even the part-time Container Store job -- fun as it is -- can cure that.

Folks, I can't believe how many jobs I can be rejected from. It's staggering. Demoralizing, even. And I've learned that there are many, many wrong things you can say to a person who has been looking for a job for a while, because I have heard all of them. For your edification:

"That's weird - there's such low unemployment right now" translates to Wow, you ARE a loser!

"Have you tried looking online? There's lots of job sites" sounds like You're a loser AND you are stupid!

"You should apply to these!" while pointing to several job postings I am in no way qualified for/interested in becomes You're a stupid loser who isn't trying hard enough!

It's been fun, is what I'm saying. Also, don't give advice to job seekers unless you have an actual job to give to them. Thanks, good chat!

I did accomplish one thing the past few months, and that is this:

The surroundings look dreary because February is mud month here, fun

New equipment for our neighborhood tot lot -- the procurement of which fell to me even though I did the same job very badly way back in 2005 -- finally arrived! It looks great and only took me...let's see (checks calendar)...11 MONTHS. 

Folks, this task was so stressful that I considered more than once the option of selling my beloved home and moving to a different town, just to get out from under it. But now, whenever I step out my door, I gaze upon this marvel and take a few satisfied breaths while I try to forget about all the other neighborhood HOA balls I am currently dropping.

Of course, there's also been knitting: a slow pair of socks, plus a pink version of Joji Locatelli's Pure Joy shawl:

Pink is my February color. My new sneakers? Blindingly pink

It felt very satisfying to finish this and wear it nonstop for a week, but you know what would also feel satisfying? A JOB.

The End