Happy Anniversary To Me

Well, it's our anniversary (#17); and Larry's left me here with 4 kids and a greeting card and a pack of M&M's while he goes skiing with the big kids. Yet another reason to go to our neighborhood Best Buy and treat myself to a laptop, don't you think?

Of course, my husband is nobody's fool; he's taken my babysitters with him. Foiled, again.

I am beginning to realize that Larry purposely left me with the expiring-computer-mouse condition. Think about it: the computer works for 15 minutes, then the mouse dies, leaving me no choice but to shut the whole thing off. And get up and do something useful around here. I feel manipulated.

My toddler has an endearing habit of climbing up behind me on my computer chair and keeping me company while I type. Which is fine, unless she suddenly slips off, all the while maintaining her kung-fu grip on my hair. Ouch.

I'm in the mood for short paragraphs tonight. Can you tell?

I haven't cooked in 3 days. Instead, I've been feeding the kids cheese and crackers left over from the party, pizza, and canned soup. They love it. I am the best mommy in the world. It doesn't hurt that I'm sharing all my Christmas chocolate with them, either.

Well, time to enjoy a nice quiet evening with the house to myself. Not that the teenagers bother me or anything. But I just want to be able to sit around and knit without seeing myself through their eyes. As a middle-aged boring loser. Is that too much to ask?

Blog Business

I'm feeling bad for the poor unfortunate from Maryland who was googling "stomach flu large family" today and landed on my blog - apparently they went through all 33 pages, hoping to find some useful information. Not here, honey. All I've got are horror stories. And someone at a high-priced NYC law firm has been googling for a tornado costume. I find this puzzling. But that's okay - I'm sure they find me puzzling, too. And not at all helpful.

I don't know when I find time to analyze my sitemeter referrals so closely - probably when I'm neglecting the children and the laundry.

Like my tag cloud? Pretty, isn't it? I'm rather proud of myself. For those of you who asked, you need to log in to Technorati and look for the tag cloud widget. If I can figure it out, anyone can.

So, where's the funny? I don't know - I thought one of you took it. None of my children acted outrageous today. Or, if they did, I didn't notice. Anna was pleasant and helpful because she wanted to go to the mall with her friend this evening, Susie avoided mischief because she was a little under the weather and lay around all day looking cute and cuddly, the middle kids kept themselves busy with various sand art projects (and yes, there is colored sand everywhere now; but, frankly, I don't give a damn), and Theo was out working at B&N all day. He thought it was boring. Larry and I explained to him that that's why he has to go to college - so he can get a job that isn't boring. Or a job that is boring but pays way better than 8 dollars an hour. That advice represents the extent of our career counseling abilities.

Bunco tonight, and I lost. It's a stupid game anyway. And I spent 140 dollars (as in, way more than the 80 dollars I thought I was going to spend) having someone come to my house and explain the gas fireplaces to me. I think Larry's going to start taking the checkbook to work with him.

I called my father this morning and apologized profusely for forgetting to call him yesterday, on my parents' 51st anniversary. He was very upset with me - you know why? Because he forgot, too, and he was counting on me to remind him.

I avoided walking all last week, but now my neighbor is banging on my door again at 6:30 in the morning. Which is ridiculous, considering it is dark outside at that hour. I'm thinking of getting a restraining order. But until then, it's somewhat-early to bed and way-too-early to rise for this blogging mama - g'night all!