Battle Fatigue

I crashed early again last night (6:30 PM). The joke is, I had worked my butt off all through dinner (washing pots, straightening up) just so I could make it to yoga class at 7:30. So then I ran upstairs to change into my exercise clothes, lay down on the bed for "just a sec," and...well...that was all she wrote.

There's nothing like waking up in the morning and realizing that everything you needed to do the evening before to make your day easier....isn't done.

And I know that if I would exercise more, I would be less tired. But if I'm too tired to exercise (apparently), I believe I'm already locked into some sort of vicious downward spiral.

I was dreaming about Trefoils last night. Sigh.

I'm rambling this morning, folks; my brain doesn't seem to have woken up yet, and I can't remember a darn thing from yesterday. Oh, except talking to the new neighbor. You see, the nice young gentleman we sold our old house to (who promised he wasn't planning on turning it into a rental property) turned it into a rental property. Thanks, buddy! Anyway, his new tenants just moved in - a nice family with 2 little girls. They look a little frightened when they see me and my nice-sized brood, especially now that they've learned that we used to live in the very same house that they are occupying. I think they've decided to avoid drinking the tap water.

Anyway, things that might not be good to say to a brand-new neighbor could include:

• We birthed 2 babies in the master bedroom!
• Leave some mousetraps under the kitchen sink. Trust me.
• I never could figure out what that weird smell in the washer was...
• How do you like the toilet in the main bathroom? Did you know it can flush 8 golfballs?

I guess the look on the new mom's face when I approach can only be described as "apprehensive," at this point. And she hasn't even read my blog...

Blog Business

I'm feeling bad for the poor unfortunate from Maryland who was googling "stomach flu large family" today and landed on my blog - apparently they went through all 33 pages, hoping to find some useful information. Not here, honey. All I've got are horror stories. And someone at a high-priced NYC law firm has been googling for a tornado costume. I find this puzzling. But that's okay - I'm sure they find me puzzling, too. And not at all helpful.

I don't know when I find time to analyze my sitemeter referrals so closely - probably when I'm neglecting the children and the laundry.

Like my tag cloud? Pretty, isn't it? I'm rather proud of myself. For those of you who asked, you need to log in to Technorati and look for the tag cloud widget. If I can figure it out, anyone can.

So, where's the funny? I don't know - I thought one of you took it. None of my children acted outrageous today. Or, if they did, I didn't notice. Anna was pleasant and helpful because she wanted to go to the mall with her friend this evening, Susie avoided mischief because she was a little under the weather and lay around all day looking cute and cuddly, the middle kids kept themselves busy with various sand art projects (and yes, there is colored sand everywhere now; but, frankly, I don't give a damn), and Theo was out working at B&N all day. He thought it was boring. Larry and I explained to him that that's why he has to go to college - so he can get a job that isn't boring. Or a job that is boring but pays way better than 8 dollars an hour. That advice represents the extent of our career counseling abilities.

Bunco tonight, and I lost. It's a stupid game anyway. And I spent 140 dollars (as in, way more than the 80 dollars I thought I was going to spend) having someone come to my house and explain the gas fireplaces to me. I think Larry's going to start taking the checkbook to work with him.

I called my father this morning and apologized profusely for forgetting to call him yesterday, on my parents' 51st anniversary. He was very upset with me - you know why? Because he forgot, too, and he was counting on me to remind him.

I avoided walking all last week, but now my neighbor is banging on my door again at 6:30 in the morning. Which is ridiculous, considering it is dark outside at that hour. I'm thinking of getting a restraining order. But until then, it's somewhat-early to bed and way-too-early to rise for this blogging mama - g'night all!

Underachieving Thoughts

I don't have enough to do, so I spend my spare time googling people I knew in college - see what they're up to. It turns out that they are all way more successful in their chosen careers than I am. (Actually, now that I think of it, I don't have a career.) One is leading some amazing sustainable agriculture program at a well-known state university, another runs his own law firm with his wife as partner (good thing he didn't marry me, huh?), yet another is a dean at an Ivy League university. It strikes me that they didn't waste the money they invested in their education the way I have. It also strikes me that they're not bored enough to sit around googling people they used to know but will never speak to again. Why? Because they have things going on, money to make, important people to get back to.

As for me, well, the kids are in bed, everyone's been diapered, wiped, and brushed for the evening, and my teenage daughter (aka "the Slave") is getting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher so that I can go in there and do the final kitchen scrubdown. I might try knitting a hat after that.

I suppose the world does need underachievers, but I'm not sure for what. Maybe to do all the grunt work, like diapering and teeth-brushing and kitchen cleaning...

Someone tried to kill me this morning, by the way. I dragged myself out of bed at 6:15 to go walking with my neighbor Cindy and found her waiting for me outside with her visiting sister-in-law. Who turned out to be the fastest walker in the Western Hemisphere. I knew I was in trouble when she commented that she doesn't usually get such a late start. I was practically jogging to keep up with her, and my neighbor wasn't doing much better. My only comfort was knowing that, if I did suffer an exercise-induced heart attack, I'd probably be saved. Not by Cindy, mind you - she was too out of breath to administer CPR at that point. But by the sister-in-law, who happened to be a doctor.

Did I mention that this chick was 20 years older than me? It was embarrassing.

90 degrees today, and again tomorrow......autumn, we hardly knew ye.

Christmas is Coming...

It's been a while since my last letter, but not much has happened around here of note. I have decided that perhaps it would be best if I took a little time to clean my oven more often than, say, once every few years. Nothing like a minor grease fire to make me reevaluate my housekeeping methods. The fire was a great learning opportunity, however - the kids got to see how effective baking soda really is on a kitchen conflagration. And I think the flames actually burnt off a lot of the greasy buildup. So it wasn't a total loss.

After faithfully exercising for the past 3 1/2 months at the Y, I've come to the inescapable conclusion that exercise makes me fat. Apparently, I am not the only one to think so. The other day, as I was bending over to wipe out the tub, Rachel happily said, "Mommy, you have a big bottom." That kid used to be cute; I don't know what happened. When I shared my scientific findings on exercise with Larry, he muttered something about the chocolate factor, whatever that means. Hey, is it my fault the Y is dumb enough to have a candy machine in the lobby?

Rachel woke up one morning recently and apparently decided that using the potty was a pretty good idea. I would like to note here that this happened at the exact same age that Anna learned to use the potty, which leads me to think that it really didn't matter what I did as far as toilet-training went. What I need is a set of identical twins to test this theory on.

In case Anna reads this, I would like to state as a disclaimer that of course Anna has always used the potty and would never dream of doing otherwise.

I suppose I should be writing a Christmas-type newsletter right now, sharing the year's highlights and all. Unfortunately, I don't remember a darn thing that happened before the baby was born in May. And since then...well, you've been kept up to date on all the excitement. I'm not truly in the Christmas spirit right now, as we have to drive up to Maine this Wednesday to celebrate with Larry's family. I don't see why we have to do that, as we have a perfectly good tree right here at home. His family's okay, but not worth a 12 hour drive with 6 kids in two vans. Larry, of course, does not share this opinion. If someone would like to steal our van late Tuesday night, I'll give you my keys. Just don't return it until the 26th.