Thursday, March 13, 2008

FYI, Menfolk

I think that if I rarely call my husband at work (and never for stupid things like asking, "Do you still love me?"), then he should have the decency to stop typing at his keyboard for the 45 seconds it takes me to ask him where the corkscrew is. Not that that bothers me, or anything...

And they wonder why women become disinterested in sex. This article says scientists are trying to develop a pill for FSD. That's female sexual dysfunction, for those of you not aware that there is a new epidemic sweeping the nation. A pill? We don't need no stinking pill. We women are a tad more complicated than men when it comes to these matters, in case you all haven't figured that out yet.

For example, the article does not address the relationship between housework and sex. As in, men who do the dishes after dinner may just have a better chance of getting lucky that night than those who watch TV while their lovely sex slave toils away in the kitchen.

Or fatigue and sex - There's nothing like running after the kids all day, making meals, cleaning the house, and doing the bedtime routine to put a damper on any amorous notions a less exhausted woman may entertain towards her husband. You know, reading Curious George to your 4-year-old in the evening while your wife takes a much-needed break just may be to your benefit, guys! Extra points if you actually take her out to dinner!

Or good old-fashioned wooing and sex - Flowers, chocolates, compliments: these are all time-honored methods of courting a woman's favor. And they all work way better than saying pointedly, "Well, I'm going to bed now!" and hoping your wife takes the hint.

It's not a pill we need, gentlemen - a little romance (of the non-physical kind) and attention (gifts don't hurt, either) would do the trick (ooh, no pun intended). Some things never change, now do they?

And for heaven's sake, stop working for a minute when your wife calls you at the office. Would it kill you?

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33 comments:

  1. At a homeschooling parents-night-out back in Virginia, it came to the men's attention that our host did all the laundry for that family of six.

    The guys gave him a very hard time about being whipped, but Ken just sat there grinning. Finally, when the others had run out of barbs, he said smugly, "You call it 'laundry'...I call it 'foreplay.'"

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  2. My husband always answers, but he uses the too busy voice. Could you just say sweetly "Can I call you back?"

    You have seen the book "Porno for Women" haven't you? It's pics of men doing housework!

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  3. Amen, sister!

    You know what's worse than a husband who doesn't like you to call him at work? A husband who calls you from work. Every day. Just as the kids are going down for their nap (or right when you're in the middle of changing a poopy diaper, or... really any time of day is inconvenient) and then Talks. An talks. About. Nothing. Seriously, how clueless can you get?!

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  4. exactly! very well said.

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  5. I would be more interested in having sex if I had someone NEW to have sex with... :)

    Seriously, all good points. My husband actually does a tremendous amount of stuff around the house so I better go have sex with him now.

    I like Kaylnne's comment. Funny.

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  6. Oy. The keyboard sounds in the background. Or the, "OK, OK, OK" before you finish a sentence. Or the vague, "Uh huh." Clues! All clues! Leading to the same conclusion: Not listening.

    Word.

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  7. Nothing beats good, old fashioned wooing...as for the voice - I know it well!

    Happy thursday!
    Hen

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  8. I call my husband most mornings. He leaves before any of the rest of us are up, and I think it's sort of good for a married couple to touch base at the beginning of the day. So does he.

    His New Year's Resolution was to have sex every other day. We actually kept it up for a while (travel and sickness sort of threw a wrench in the works). It made us both pretty happy. I honestly don't understand why sex is seen as something women do for men. Don't you enjoy it too?

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  9. amy - I think what differs between the genders is not the enjoyment factor so much as, with women, the enjoyment tends to be influenced way more by "outside" factors, such as exhaustion, or lack of wooing, or just plain feeling lousy. When my husband has a bad day at work, he thinks, "Sex would make me feel better!" But if I have a bad day, I think, "Hmmm, some chocolate would taste good," or "I need to talk to someone about what's bothering me before I can enjoy sex." Generally speaking, men in a bad mood will have sex to cheer up. Women need to be in a good mood first to have sex. Of course, there are exceptions.

    My husband is a very nice guy, but he hates to be "bothered" at work. I don't take it personally, most times. Just occasionally.

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  10. Well said. And he should be especially caring when it's the corkscrew you are looking for - that's serious business. I have tried for years to help my husband to connect the dots that go from the housework to the bedroom, but it's likely not going to happen. I just learned how to get real good with a corkscrew on my own.

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  11. But isn't it less work to slip a mickey in your woman's drink than do housework and foreplay? It's like a "Simple" button for lazy men. And a pharmaceutical company saw they could profit from such an idea so they developed it. And shame on the FDA for approving it! (I better stop ranting before you kick me off your site)

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  12. Amen on all points!!!!

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  13. Amen, amen, amen. My husband and I actually found an editorial in the newspaper that said something similar, and HE brought it to our couples' bible study group and read it to the men.

    Just to be clear, Joe does most of the cooking, at least half of the cleaning, and most of the errands and upkeep. I feel like a slacker since marrying this guy. Only problem is, sometimes he's just a little too tired for sex. ;)

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  14. I've always found that asking your wife to dance helps. I mean, not YOUR wife, but my wife.

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  15. Uhm~ I'm with motherwise. The first thing I said was "HELLO, if she is asking for the corkscrew you better tune in loud and clear buddy!" The world could be ending, but if I can't find the corkscrew you better be jumping.
    Well given the fact that you have 6 kids I would say there doesn't seem to be any issues in your household. (I've only got one kid so that means we only "did it" once. uh huh). ;-)
    You are completely right on tho~ men seem to have a button that can just be turned on or off. Women need more time. Surely there is some cartoonist out there that could draw up a nice rendition of a light switch versus modeling clay.

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  16. Amen, sister! If only I didn't feel like the live-in maid at the end of the day I'd have more ambition once I got into bed.

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  17. I can't complain about mine, he's the best. He cooks, cleans, and woos. But I'm not sharing, sorry. :)

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  18. I hate it when you can hear them clicking away at their keyboard while you're talking... especially when it's about something important, like finding the corkscrew!

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  19. I say get another corkscrew and keep it where only you know it exists!

    And I'm guilty (being the breadwinner in the family) of typing. But ONLY after 10 minutes of patiently listening to him bitch about the political issue of the day.

    If he called for something specific and definable, I would SO stop typing. ;-)

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  20. This is brilliant and I expect to see your lengthly informative ad featuring men picking up the slack and a knowing look wash over the womens faces...and run it during Super Bowl.

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  21. http://www.newsweek.com/id/119066

    Here is an article on the whole subject that men who do housework get more sex. Print it out and post it up on your fridge, and maybe they would get the hint.
    ~Jennifer

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  22. Here is an article on the whole subject that men who do housework get more sex.

    Yes, but is bad sex and who wants that. ;)

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  23. I hear you. If I have a bad day due to work, kids, hosuework, whatever, sex is the LAST thing on my mind. To make it worse, hubby is working about 20 hrs a week OT, leaving me to do even more and STILL he wants some!

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  24. Amen, Sister. The entire culture is one big over-sexualized huff, in the Matron's humble opinion. And the Matron is no prude. She likes sex. When she's in a good mood already, as you say! Just consider how sexualized children's culture is, too. Look at the knockers on all those slim pretty moms in Disney movies and on TV---except for the pudgy mom on Caiou (which I know I'm spelling incorrectly).

    Sigh. . .

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  25. My husband would certainly get more sex if he helped out a bit. But I could definitely use a pill, I have no libido at all. If they do develop it though, it will probably be $5 a pill or some-such.

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  26. Tomorrow's our 5 year anniversary so I arranged an overnight sitter, I arranged the massage and dinner reservations, I arranged the hotel. And knowing him? Probably arranging the porn (ha ha...kind of!)

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  27. I'm there with you!Well said.

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  28. I think there are a ton of older women out there who would like to strangle the makers of Viagra. I mean, my God, just when they got to a stage in life where they thought they could rest hubby pops up with a two-hour hard-on? Sheesh!

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  29. don mills diva - Yes, not all of us want to be young forever....

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  30. I would like to know, statistically speaking, how owning a BlackBerry changes things. Nothing makes me feel more loved then laying next to a man who is finishing up his work email in bed then rolls over and gives me the look. Puh-leez! Why don't you give someone at work the look. No wait!

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