Clarification, and Bonus Discussion Question

Ahem - I would like to state here that yesterday's post was directed at the thick-headed male scientists who are trying to develop a female Viagra, not at my remarkably considerate husband. My husband does, in fact, read Curious George to the 4-year-olds, and he does actually help with the dishes (though I truly don't expect him to after a long day at work - honestly!), and sometimes he even has the sense to feed me chocolate.

Not that yesterday's post bothered him or anything...

The keyboard thing, when I call him at work, though? He does that. And I hate it.

And I wasn't saying that men like sex and women don't - I was just saying that men will choose to have sex when they are tired or in a bad mood just to perk themselves up, whereas women will have sex only if they are in a good mood already. Key gender differences, again - ignore at your own risk!

Okay, have we cleared that all up? Good. Whew.

Susie peed all over the front stoop today, and also all over her shoes; somehow this episode resulted in my spending an hour sorting out hand-me-down clothes in the attic while looking for some footwear for her to put on. And Larry wonders why I never get anything done.

What are the odds that 2 bloggers I read are both published in the current issue of Brain, Child? I mean, considering all the zillions of bloggers with kids who are out there....maybe I just have good taste, you know? Mommy-blogger connoisseur, that's me!

I didn't purchase that issue of Brain, Child by the way - I just popped into the local Barnes & Noble and looked at the articles. I rationalize this behavior by telling myself that I buy things there fairly regularly; but really, isn't what I did just the same as stealing? I think it may be. Discuss, please. Make sure to back up your argument. Extra credit for good penmanship.

I must go. Anna is standing near me, visibly annoyed; and her annoyance is creating a sort of miasma around my head which makes it hard to breathe. Need...air...(gasp)...

FYI, Menfolk

I think that if I rarely call my husband at work (and never for stupid things like asking, "Do you still love me?"), then he should have the decency to stop typing at his keyboard for the 45 seconds it takes me to ask him where the corkscrew is. Not that that bothers me, or anything...

And they wonder why women become disinterested in sex. This article says scientists are trying to develop a pill for FSD. That's female sexual dysfunction, for those of you not aware that there is a new epidemic sweeping the nation. A pill? We don't need no stinking pill. We women are a tad more complicated than men when it comes to these matters, in case you all haven't figured that out yet.

For example, the article does not address the relationship between housework and sex. As in, men who do the dishes after dinner may just have a better chance of getting lucky that night than those who watch TV while their lovely sex slave toils away in the kitchen.

Or fatigue and sex - There's nothing like running after the kids all day, making meals, cleaning the house, and doing the bedtime routine to put a damper on any amorous notions a less exhausted woman may entertain towards her husband. You know, reading Curious George to your 4-year-old in the evening while your wife takes a much-needed break just may be to your benefit, guys! Extra points if you actually take her out to dinner!

Or good old-fashioned wooing and sex - Flowers, chocolates, compliments: these are all time-honored methods of courting a woman's favor. And they all work way better than saying pointedly, "Well, I'm going to bed now!" and hoping your wife takes the hint.

It's not a pill we need, gentlemen - a little romance (of the non-physical kind) and attention (gifts don't hurt, either) would do the trick (ooh, no pun intended). Some things never change, now do they?

And for heaven's sake, stop working for a minute when your wife calls you at the office. Would it kill you?

Cinderella Story

Miss me? I fell asleep at 7:30 with the toddler last night. I woke up at 10:30 when Larry came to bed, and I started crying and saying I had to get up. "That's okay, honey," he said. "I finished the kitchen clean-up; you can just go back to sleep." (Yes, he is nice.)

"You don't understand," I sobbed. "I had 4 points left to eat today. That's 2 Twix bars. I have to get up and eat them now, before the points go away."

"Let me get this straight," said Larry. "At midnight, the Twix bars turn into a pumpkin?"

Essentially, yes. They did. Because I was too tired (from starvation, maybe?) to get out of bed and unwrap their wonderful deliciousness and consume them. Damn. And I missed Knit Night, also.

I'm trying to break Rachel of her complaining habit, or at least get her to complain in a voice that is not high-pitched and whiny. She was kvetching nonstop at breakfast this morning (reason? we were having raisins in the oatmeal, instead of jelly), so I sent her out of the kitchen, telling her she could come back when she stopped whining. She didn't return. Then she complained the rest of the morning that she was hungry.

Somehow, I don't think I won that one. And my ears hurt.

Theo had to change a poopy diaper yesterday while I was out, and he was not happy about it. But I think it's good for the teenage males to be reminded every once in a while what exactly being enamored of a pretty girl can lead to. Lord knows, it happened to his father.

I've updated my blogroll a bit, in case any of you desperate enough to land here need something decent to read. Enjoy!

Sex and Taxes

Aaah - I just filed our state and federal taxes.

Done.

Pretty amazing, huh? I think so. Of course, our fat refund is enough of an incentive to be proactive about filing. Gotta love that child tax credit, you know. Gosh, with all these kids, we're practically making money. Maybe we had better go have some more...

I cleaned the house and caught up on laundry this morning while Larry and the children were at church (major advantage to agreeing to raise the kids in your spouse's religion, not yours), all so I could escape to our annual Yoga Center luncheon this afternoon. It was a treat to enjoy a meal on a non-vinyl tablecloth with glassware that wasn't plastic; and no one there whined the entire time. The food was terrific, unlike the slop that I dish out day after day, week after week,....so good, in fact, that I spent the rest of the week's Weight Watcher points on it. Which is unfortunate, because I would really like to eat something tomorrow.

I did weigh-in at 2 pounds lighter last week (for a total of 4.5 pounds - go, me!); but I forgot to boast about it, what with being so busy having run-ins with the law and googling "chastity belts" to buy for my teenage daughter. This morning I informed her that if she's not mature enough to take care of a baby, she's not mature enough to be having sex with anyone. I also told her that, despite how the movies and TV make it seem, teens can resist their sexual urges and keep their clothes on. And I'm not raising her babies.

I think I embarrassed the heck out of her. Good.

Larry wants the computer - he's starting to mutter something about "wasting time" and "imaginary friends" again. He's just jealous he doesn't have a blog.