On Monday, the Wall Street Journal ran one of those "little things you can do to save money in these hard times" articles. Apparently, the people who are supposed to be running the economy - the movers and the shakers, if you will, the Wall Street Journal readers, the businessmen - do not know the most basic math; because, if they did, they wouldn't need these economic helpful hints.
I mean, gosh, did you realize it is cheaper to rent a video from Blockbuster than to go out to the movies? Congratulations! Apparently you are smarter than the average WSJ reader.
Oh, and number 3 on the list says to make your coffee at home instead of buying it at Starbuck's. Yup, it's actually cheaper that way. Who woulda thunk it? Not, apparently, the upper-middle-class executive types who read the Wall Street Journal and who have a hand in running some of America's biggest corporations.
And, yo! all you welfare queens, if you would just stop getting that weekly manicure, you, too, could save over 500 dollars a year! So stop whining about not being able to afford dental insurance for your kids and buff your nails yourself. It's what all the rich folk are doing now. It's hip to be poor.
Read the rest of the article yourself. It's making me sick. I didn't realize just how tough these economic hard times have been on our captains of industry. I mean, how's a hard-charging exec supposed to feel, drinking out of the communal water cooler rather than bringing his own private bottle of spring water? How is he supposed to concentrate on his job of bolstering the American economy when he is experiencing such cataclysmic changes in his own lifestyle?
I say, these people need our support. So, if any of you have extra Pizza Hut coupons, or a spare fifth-grade math textbook lying around, or maybe even an extra home manicure kit, you should send it to
Upper Middle Class Financial Idiots
c/o The Wall Street Journal
New York, New York
It can be part of a grand new initiative - No Executive Left Behind.
Because a high salary is a terrible thing to waste.