[I am being besieged by people coming over from this website for German aupairs. I can't read what it says about me, but I'm guessing it is laughing at what we Americans have in our refrigerators. Anyone know German who can translate for me?]
You know, I think I will have a little trouble explaining to Larry why over 40 people are demanding to see pictures of the inside of our refrigerator. [Actually, come to think of it, I'm having a little trouble explaining this phenomenon to myself. The blogosphere is indeed a weird place.] So I'm going to try to post these now, before he comes home and catches me. Here you see the full picture. Try not to take it all in at once - it's a little overwhelming.
Next let's get a close-up of the dreaded bins of moldering vegetables. I think the specials this week are cilantro, carrots, and (in the back) an onion or two. Note the gunk behind the bins. I have no idea how that gets there. And, if you look closely, you can see the dirty glass shelves above the bins that are even now making MamaHenClucks sick to her stomach. I warned you not to look, sweetie.
Let's see, what else have I got for you? Oh, yes, let's look at the condiments. My family's addiction to condiments, as I mentioned in yesterday's comments, is killing me. Here's the door, where all the condiments (in a normal family, that is) should fit. Do you see the blank space on the top right? What the heck is that for? If I had another shelf there, the situation in the main part of the refrigerator wouldn't be so dire. As it is, the condiments that don't fit on the door are displaced onto the main shelves where they get knocked over and make a mess. Luckily this usually happens way in the back and I can ignore it. Oh, and do make a note of those 2 bottles of wine there on the bottom right. It is possible, MadMad, to have a surfeit of both wine and condiments.
Because some of the condiments aren't easily visible (due to being shoved to the far back of our fridge), we end up with even more overcrowding when certain children open a second jar of whatever it is they can't find. While I was rummaging around in the fridge during this photography session, I discovered 2 full open containers of mayo. Great. I moved both to the front so you can see. Oh, and see that head of cabbage at the top right? It's not long for this world. I have no idea what it is doing there.
Here is a close-up of the top shelf. Please note that big jar of chopt garlic next to the cabbage. It should be on the door. Its present location guarantees that as soon as someone reaches for that chipotle salsa behind the Canada Dry, the garlic will crash to our tile floor. (The only part of my kitchen floor that gets washed regularly is the section directly in front of the refrigerator.) Oh, and check out the jar to the left of the mayo, below the garlic. That's another jar of salsa. And that bowl to the left of the jar? That's homemade salsa. I guess we didn't already have enough in the fridge.
Is this making sense? Oh, wait, I just spotted a third jar of salsa (Newman's Own) hiding shyly behind the garlic. Anyone got a craving for Mexican?
Now I'm trying to find the picture that shows the huge jar of applesauce shoved all the way to the back of the refrigerator. Hmmm...here it is! See it? All the way back there behind the mushrooms that are sitting on top of the cabbage? What are the odds I'll be able to remove the mushrooms from the refrigerator without knocking over that chopped garlic? Wait...were we talking about applesauce here? Sheesh, I already forgot about it. I don't think refrigerators should be made so deep.
So, I hope that little tour made all you blogging voyeurs feel better. Please do not suggest that we invest in a second refrigerator. We already have one. Yup. And it's full. And, no, you're not getting pictures. I've got to draw the line somewhere. I have my pride.
Oh, and I have no idea why all you blogging former English majors weren't falling all over yourselves to tell everyone where yesterday's blog post title hailed from. Anyone willing to take a guess? You can win an open jar of mayonnaise.