Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Salsa, Salsa, Everywhere; And Not A Chip To Eat...

[I am being besieged by people coming over from this website for German aupairs. I can't read what it says about me, but I'm guessing it is laughing at what we Americans have in our refrigerators. Anyone know German who can translate for me?]




You know, I think I will have a little trouble explaining to Larry why over 40 people are demanding to see pictures of the inside of our refrigerator. [Actually, come to think of it, I'm having a little trouble explaining this phenomenon to myself. The blogosphere is indeed a weird place.] So I'm going to try to post these now, before he comes home and catches me. Here you see the full picture. Try not to take it all in at once - it's a little overwhelming.




Next let's get a close-up of the dreaded bins of moldering vegetables. I think the specials this week are cilantro, carrots, and (in the back) an onion or two. Note the gunk behind the bins. I have no idea how that gets there. And, if you look closely, you can see the dirty glass shelves above the bins that are even now making MamaHenClucks sick to her stomach. I warned you not to look, sweetie.



Let's see, what else have I got for you? Oh, yes, let's look at the condiments. My family's addiction to condiments, as I mentioned in yesterday's comments, is killing me. Here's the door, where all the condiments (in a normal family, that is) should fit. Do you see the blank space on the top right? What the heck is that for? If I had another shelf there, the situation in the main part of the refrigerator wouldn't be so dire. As it is, the condiments that don't fit on the door are displaced onto the main shelves where they get knocked over and make a mess. Luckily this usually happens way in the back and I can ignore it. Oh, and do make a note of those 2 bottles of wine there on the bottom right. It is possible, MadMad, to have a surfeit of both wine and condiments.


Because some of the condiments aren't easily visible (due to being shoved to the far back of our fridge), we end up with even more overcrowding when certain children open a second jar of whatever it is they can't find. While I was rummaging around in the fridge during this photography session, I discovered 2 full open containers of mayo. Great. I moved both to the front so you can see. Oh, and see that head of cabbage at the top right? It's not long for this world. I have no idea what it is doing there.


Here is a close-up of the top shelf. Please note that big jar of chopt garlic next to the cabbage. It should be on the door. Its present location guarantees that as soon as someone reaches for that chipotle salsa behind the Canada Dry, the garlic will crash to our tile floor. (The only part of my kitchen floor that gets washed regularly is the section directly in front of the refrigerator.) Oh, and check out the jar to the left of the mayo, below the garlic. That's another jar of salsa. And that bowl to the left of the jar? That's homemade salsa. I guess we didn't already have enough in the fridge.

Is this making sense? Oh, wait, I just spotted a third jar of salsa (Newman's Own) hiding shyly behind the garlic. Anyone got a craving for Mexican?


Now I'm trying to find the picture that shows the huge jar of applesauce shoved all the way to the back of the refrigerator. Hmmm...here it is! See it? All the way back there behind the mushrooms that are sitting on top of the cabbage? What are the odds I'll be able to remove the mushrooms from the refrigerator without knocking over that chopped garlic? Wait...were we talking about applesauce here? Sheesh, I already forgot about it. I don't think refrigerators should be made so deep.


So, I hope that little tour made all you blogging voyeurs feel better. Please do not suggest that we invest in a second refrigerator. We already have one. Yup. And it's full. And, no, you're not getting pictures. I've got to draw the line somewhere. I have my pride.

Oh, and I have no idea why all you blogging former English majors weren't falling all over yourselves to tell everyone where yesterday's blog post title hailed from. Anyone willing to take a guess? You can win an open jar of mayonnaise.

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59 comments:

  1. You need to pretend that you're broke for at least the next week. Maybe 2. No more trips to the store. Make some mexican food w/ the salsa. Make cole slaw with the cabbage and mayo. Get cooking, and freezing. Or just tossing.

    My MIL was shocked once when I went shopping and was complaining that there was no room in the fridge. "Don't you clean it and wash the shelves every week before going shopping?" Uh, no.

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  2. Ok - will have to rise to the challenege now and post my fridge for the blogsphere to see. I feel that it's rather empty in comparison, but maybe that just gives more space for the mould to grow?

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  3. HOWL!

    Am I right? I'm too lazy to go double check on my bookshelves.

    Don't bother on the mayonnaise. I hate the stuff. It makes me gag to even think of it. Now, if you had offered to come clean out my fridge...

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  4. Wow - so that's what a fridge that feeds 8 people looks like! I don't think my fridge has half as much stuff in it unless we just get back from the grocery shopping.

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  5. Hey that fridge looks pretty good. I was expecting to find Kids! Vomit! and Mice! :)

    Seriously, though, if you could stick to just one jar of salsa you would free up tons of space!

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  6. Okay, you knew I had to answer that. Allen Ginsberg's Howl. (To be honest, I thought and thought, knew I knew this quote, but my brain cells were dead...so I googled it).

    Does this count? But just in case, really, you can keep the mayo.

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  7. Sara - Man does not live on condiments alone.

    amy - You got it right - the title was from Allen Ginsburg's poem "Howl." Are you sure you don't want the mayo?

    bia - You got it, too. But you were second and you cheated a little. If Amy doesn't want the mayo, I'll offer it to you.

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  8. I feel so at home here.

    Oh, and my husband has a chip obsession so I have the fridge-eviqualent of stale, half eaten chip bags. I will send you some for all that salsa.

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  9. I love you for showing that. And I realize that I need to keep my fridge fully loaded at all times. My problem is that I go too long between grocery trips and when things get empty in there I can see the messy shelves.

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  10. I recently discovered that we are really only using the front 4" of refrigerator space. Everything behind that has been there forever, and should probably be thrown out because we'll probably never use it (nearly empty pickle jar and condiments, etc.......)
    We have a second refrigerator also, but it's not very full because its in the garage, ad someone would need to actually walk like fifteen feet to put something in there.

    Thanks for posting the photos.

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  11. Sigh. This is too familiar (and with two growing boys, I bet it's just going to get worse.)

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  12. You did it! I am amazed. You either have less pride or more guts than me. I am very pleased to see your fridge needs cleaning, just like mine. Do you know how much I despise seeing someone's spotless home?
    Have you thought about putting a washable throw rug in front of the fridge? Then perhaps things wouldn't break when they fell on it, and if they did, you could wash the rug! So much for my housecleaning tips! Thanks for the tour.

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  13. I don't care that you have multiple jars of condiments and spoiled foods. My fridge is EMPTY in comparison. I have never understood how I can go grocery shopping and still have it be empty.

    Thanks for sharing. And I tried not to look at the glass shelves.

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  14. I feel bad! I should have known that quote, I just studied it last year. Ah well, don't tell my professor okay?

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  15. I don't speak German either, but a web translator claims it says:

    "I imagined, this poste I to best here, since many will still experience of you, what in an American refrigerator everything to be in such a way found am…"

    Which I think means:

    "I think this is the best place to post this photo. Get ready to experience what every American refrigerator looks like."

    And she's right. Poor girls.

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  16. Did you know that if you google that quote, your blog comes up as the fourth or fifth entry? How cool are you?!

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  17. By the way, Google Translate says they are saying, "I believed that I post the best here, as many of you still experience, which in an American kuehlschrank have to find..."

    Which - I don't know what that means exactly, but - HEY - you're the best keuhlschrank they have to find!

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  18. Ah, beaten to the punch. :>

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  19. No, no, no :) The Germans are saying "This is best example I've found of what you'll find in MOST american refridgerators!"

    I am on my way over to Munich today. Funny how you always write at least a little something about what's happening in my day...

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  20. Dude. That fridge looks clean, orderly, and well-stocked. You don't even want to know what I have tried to feed my kids for lunch. They would be SO PSYCHED if our fridge looked like yours.

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  21. I don't think two bottles of wine is a surfeit.

    Just sayin'...:-)

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  22. I'm beginning to think the blogosphere is entirely lactose intolerant.

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  23. My fridge looks much the same, though I have waaaaaaaay more pickle jars. I believe there are currently 4 open varieties of pickles in the fridge.

    You are a brave woman.

    We have a second fridge too. It is full of beer. I wonder if it will also hold pickles ...

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  24. You DID IT, you team player, you! Oh, the veggie drawer - my arch nemesis. I hate opening that Pandora's Drawer - I never know what species I may find.

    As for the title - wasn't it our dearest beatnik - Ginsberg himself?

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  25. The reason everyone wants to know about your fridge is because we all knew that you would make even extra jars of mayo funny. Thanks!

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  26. I do love me some salsa and the fact that you have so much makes me kinda wanna marry you a little bit.

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  27. don't know if my first comment went through or not (my internet connection was kind of weak). i linked your blog to that au pair site because, well, i was an au pair and i saw many american refrigerators ;-) this is a very interesting topic (well, for me. dunno...might be weird) so i thought i'd link you *and make your blog mighty famous*

    best,
    franzi

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  28. I just came to see your fridge. I wouldn't comment, but... Put some salsa on some chicken and cook it. It's pretty yummy. That's all. And you're braver than me, because I don't wanna share what my fridge looks like even with my husband.

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  29. oh, maybe i should have read all....on the au pair website i wrote that your fridge is a prime specimen for an all-american fridge. many future au pairs expect some ken and barbie life with picture perfect everything. well, any american fridge i saw looked like yours so my guess is that THIS IS AMERICA! right there, between the jars of salsa and the pickles and that strange empty space in the upper right corner of the door.

    franzi

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  30. I just don't know how to take this...so I'll just say Thank you! Thank you for letting me represent America!

    I love this comment.

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  31. I thought I might see in your fridge more condiments than I own, but I was disappointed. Where's your fish sauce? HB sauce? Two kinds of pickle relish? two half-eaten jars of curry paste? How about the wasabi paste and the anchovy paste? Chopped ginger? Two kinds of soy sauce? Four kinds of vinegar? How can you live without all these things?

    I'll have to post a photo of our condiment door one of these days.

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  32. I used to have that fridge -- then The Husband reformed me. My only nemesis now is the ground beef that goes bad after only 12 hours home from the grocery. (Oh, okay -- it's probably 36 hours, but hey!) The up-side is that when I do clean the fridge, he practically worships me! ;) "Oh honey, the fridge looks great!" Sad, I know, but I'll take compliments where I can get them...

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  33. This post makes me feel so much better about the state of my fridge. They need to make refrigerators about five feet wide and one foot deep.

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  34. Wow, I'm so glad you did this. It gave me the courage to go take a good hard look at my fridge. I found two open mayos, FIVE (5) open mustards (of various varieties), three open BBQ sauces, but only two jars of salsa--you have me beat there.

    I'm so glad I'm not alone in this.

    Oh, I also have two 18 packs of eggs. We go through eggs here like you wouldn't believe. Well, maybe you would.

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  35. The Matron likes to think she started this trend!

    minnesotamatron.blogspot.com/2008/07/exhibitionism-r-us.html

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  36. I stayed at my Mom's for about six weeks one time and after a month, I cleaned out her fridge. She had gone grocery shopping and when she got home I was cleaning it. I told her "If it's been here longer than me, it's going in the trash." She laughed and thanked me.

    Now if I can just be as responsible with my own fridge. Interestingly enough, my daughter has taken to cleaning out my fridge, and she's only 14.

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  37. Wow, whoever would think you'd be internationally famous for . . . your fridge? Congratulations, Mrs. American Refrigerator.

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  38. Allen Ginsberg. No mayo necessary but I'll take that homemade salsa....

    BTW, I thought you had lovely product placement with the Canada Dry and Kraft Mayo. Perhaps you'll be hearing from those companies with offers of lifetime supplies.

    And, while I did not lobby for a picture of your fridge, I was oddly comforted by it. Now when my husband tells me, repeatedly as he is wont to do, to clean the fridge, I will show him these pictures, tell him I am a perfectly average housekeeper and that maybe he should just adjust his standards. Maybe. Yeah, I think that conversation goes down much better in my head than in real life.

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  39. alright, here's the exact translation

    "i thought i'd post this one here because many of you will experience what there is to find in an american fridge"

    response: "very good post franzi [hehe] do you know the blogger? she wrote something about aupairusa.de"

    response by me "hehe, yes, apparently she is paying homage to this forum. i love mommy blogs and read some of them regularly. SUC is one of them. thats when you see what family life is really like. ken and barbie as if. salsa and food past it's prime"

    and now something that seems intriguing to many future au pairs "really very funny especially the teen girl survival guide because i will take care of two teenies"

    i strongly believe that future au pairs should read mommy blogs to know what they get themselves into ;-)

    german lesson over for today. more tomorrow when we learn about what au pairs really think about american parenting skills ;-) lol

    franzi

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  40. AnonymousJuly 23, 2008

    I've also been linked here from the German website and I think your blog entry is hilarious! And holds true for just about EVERY American household.
    x

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  41. Mmm, chips and lots and lots of salsa.

    All the stuff in the back of my refrigerator ends up frozen. Frozen applesauce, frozen pasta sauce. I can never get the setting right!

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  42. When I get back home next week, I will post my fridge pictures, for which I expect to win an award, 40-odd comments and a commendation from the German au pair lobby. Because I will have been gone for a whole week, during which -- I guarantee -- NO vegetables were eaten, NO packages were resealed, and AT LEAST four items were spilled in a cascade down all four shelves.

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  43. Dolly (from www.aupairusa.de)July 23, 2008

    hey!!
    i just read your note about our german aupair-website..
    we all like your blog and your newest entry about the refrigerators..
    and i really appreciated the entry "Teen Girl Survival Guide", cause my AuPair kids are two teen girls.. :)
    now you've got (at least) one more regular reader.. :)

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  44. You mean two bottles is too many? Hahaha!

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  45. OMG, where did you get picturs of my fridge from????

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  46. When were you in my kitchen? The fridge is always messy. It is a side by side. There are dirty footprints in the bottom where the boys stand so they can reach higher.

    I clean it when things start to stick to the glass shelves. Or when they spill the jello that wasn't set yet.

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  47. HEY! Are you sure you didn't accidentally post pics of MY fridge?? That is exactly what mine looks like....both of them. We have one inside and one outside. And my children are all young. I can't imagine what it is going to look like when they are teenagers.....

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  48. You did it! Hurray, hurray you brave soul!
    Blessings!

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  49. Your refrigerator feels like home to me.

    I'm ready for a ketchup and mayo sandwich, please. Extra salsa!

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  50. The two jars of mayo are typical but what's with all the EGGS!!! You could rebox them and sell them at a farmer's market for kicks!

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  51. UI've done it - you're not alone (or at least your fridge isn't).

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  52. AnonymousJuly 24, 2008

    Remind me to read this post after I don't have morning sickness.

    (I had a CLOSED container of leftovers in my fridge for a week that was making me sick every time I thought of it (and of course I kept thinking about it) and this morning I finally mustered the strength to describe to my son how to dispose of it properly while I was not in the room. (Yeah I would have had DH do it but he's on crutches at the moment.) So pictures of someone else's fridge are not a great idea for me right now.

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  53. Cracking up here! Good job! My frig is trash next to yours. Seriously!

    I learned that you have to keep the sides and back of the refrigerator clear to allow for proper cooling. HA!

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  54. Holy cow batgirl! What possesed you to take a photo of my fridge and call it your own?? Then post it on the blogosphere for all the world (including Germany) to see??

    P.S.
    Yes, I am a game-a-bob and would like to do the book club thing. I will send you an email with my info.

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  55. There's something anti-climactic about being any comment after 51, but "Howl" by Ginsburg, (a classmate wrote a poem patterned on it but based on our college when I was an English major) and I know that that is not my fridge, because as a single person, produce goes to my fridge to die. I don't think I've ever purchased raw cabbage. But salsa, yes, I might have more than one bottle. And I like your little drop down "Comment as" thing a ma bob. I really need to spruce up my blog with all the new gadgets...

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  56. I'd love to show my husband this blog entry so he would know our refrigerator is actually quite normal, even the prototypical American fridge. We are down to one child at home but ours still looks like yours (especially the condiment area).

    My biggest problem with the fridge is being the child of depression-era parents so I can never throw away leftovers. I put them in containers, stick them in the fridge, and 75% of the time, they wind up a science experiment until I pitch them weeks later. Erma Bombeck wrote a hilarious piece about that, how we feel too guilty to throw away the leftovers when they are fresh but somehow letting them rot in the fridge for three weeks and then throwing them away removes all guilt.

    Thanks for sharing your fridge with us.

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  57. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so glad to know that I am not alone!

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