Thursday, August 28, 2008

Knit Me A River

Wow! I should have quizzes more often. I got almost as many comments about the mummified bananas as I had on the bra post. (There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm not going to go for it.)

Yes, the unidentified object was (were?) 2 bananas, looking as though they had been bought sometime in the Pleistocene Era. I can't understand how they reached the petrified stage they were in without their oozing all over my counter first. Usually, it's the oozing that tips me off.

So, thanks to everyone who played! And a special thanks to "A," the first commenter, whose comment made me go over to YouTube looking for a rendition of "Yes, We Have No Bananas." I knew the song existed, but I had never heard it until today. And now I can't get that darn tune out of my head.

As I said, thanks. Thanks a lot.

I managed to attend Knit Night last night; essentially, I walked out the door as Larry walked in from his 3-day management retreat, saying, "Retreat this, buddy!" (Okay, no, I didn't; but I wanted to.) There I was able to discuss with other women a problem that I didn't realize many of us married knitters share: a spouse who thinks that, when he speaks, he should have our full, undivided (i.e., not knitting) attention.

In other words, all those evenings I spent sitting cosily in the den with Larry, knitting away on some project or another and listening to him talk about what is screwed up at work? Didn't count. Because I was knitting. Even though I was conversing with him throughout, asking questions, and only occasionally interrupting the conversation to pick up a dropped stitch or search for a lost needle...

Talk about not being on the same page, huh? Larry doesn't understand that the only way I can listen to him (or anyone else, for that matter) for an extended period of time is by knitting. If my brain isn't focusing on the knitting, it darts around thinking about laundry that isn't done, the kitchen that needs to be cleaned, meat that needs defrosting for the next day, etc. And when it does that, I am really not paying attention.

This misunderstanding stems from the fact that men don't seem able to do two things at once. For instance, when Larry is on the phone, he needs to retreat to a perfectly quiet room and focus on his phone conversation. Isn't that cute? Ya wanna know what I do while I am on the phone?
  1. Cook
  2. Clean
  3. Wipe butts (not mine, though)
  4. Settle fights
  5. Change diapers
  6. Answer e-mail
  7. Knit (but, of course)
  8. Fold laundry
  9. Correct math homework
  10. Yell at kids
If I can do all that, I am definitely capable of knitting quietly while carrying on a conversation with my spouse, don't you think? But someday, if Larry runs off with some non-knitting hussy who sits and gazes soulfully into his eyes every time he utters a word, y'all will know it's my fault. And I can live with that.

Going bananas here, can you tell?


(And, yes, I have noted that Audrey Hepburn is most definitely not knitting as she chats and laughs flirtatiously with Humphrey Bogart. But they don't have 6 kids together, either.)

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19 comments:

  1. NOW I KNOW where all those dam fruit flies are coming from!!!!

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  2. Well, according to your agreement, he'd have to take the kids along with him and the non-knitter...

    :-)

    A.B.

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  3. After three days gone, Larry should be glad you are talking to him at ALL, let alone with knitting ;>

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  4. Anonymous, that had occurred to me...I hope the non-knitting hussy likes kids.

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  5. That's exactly what I do on the phone! And Mr. C paces. He can't DO anything else, but he must pace. THAT is the most annoying thing ever. I have to send him to a quiet room just so he can pace without bothering anyone! :)

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  6. I do like that video. Nothing makes a party on a boat come alive like a 60 lb. gramophone that has to be constantly cranked. I'm sure my grandmother found that scene hopelessly cosmopolitan.

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  7. So glad you are not knitting and wiping butts at the same time. Or listening and wiping. Basically let's skip the wiping idea.

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  8. Everybody (except Larry, apparently) knows that it is not only possible, but also socially acceptable to knit while engaging in other activites. The Yarn Harlot said so.

    I went out into the *pouring* rain the other night to get my ear bud out of the car so that I could knit while I talked on the phone and watched a movie. Short timeframes call for desperate measures!

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  9. As a completely non-multitasker (I fit the stereotype perfectly), I give people my undivided attention when talking. I stop everything to talk with someone. I realize that other people can do two things at once, but I often feel like my wife isn't paying any attention to me if she is also reading email.

    Thankfully, she has, I think, mostly realized that I like her undivided attention when I share something with her, so she graciously gives it to me.

    Maybe I'm just too selfish [smile].

    ~Luke

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  10. LOL LOVED the ten things you can do while on thephone-it is very similar to mine!

    I left you a lil something over at my blog

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  11. Yeah, what is it with men and the phone? Why do THEY deserve privacy, anyway?

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  12. I too, have one of those brains that needs to be a little "distracted" in order to concentrate. Thank God I discovered it in grade school so no one ever stopped me from doing homework while listening to music. My DH on the other hand is ALL ENGINEER. If you don't get his undivided attention, he won't remember anything. Last night I was crocheting, watching the weather channel and scanning a book at the same time...no tushes to wipe, though!

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  13. Recaro gets cross if I blog while he's talking...

    how demanding is that??

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  14. I don't knit, but I do crochet and the only way that I can spend football season in the same room with my husband is by crotching - but then he feels like I'm watching the game with him but my head doesn't explode.

    Talking on the phone is the most productive time of day for me, by the way.

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  15. I hear ya! We live that same life (minus 2 kids of course).

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  16. Hubby is the same way. He can not do more than one thing at a time. If I ask him to carry the basket of clean clothes to our room and bring back the dirty cups from the bathroom, He will carry the clothes to the room. Then he will come back to where I am, then go get the cups and bring them back. Granted, he does need the exercise, but he would save more time doing it my way...

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  17. Men are genetically in capable of multitasking.

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  18. Thanks for clearing up #3, although, I'm not entirely sure I believe you.

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  19. I bet I could be smiling and beautiful too If I didn't have 5 kids. I am thinking I am going to make salsa this week. Do you want some?

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