Thursday, August 07, 2008

Miscellaneous Doesn't Even Begin To Describe It

I am so proud. This post of mine is number 3 on the page when someone Googles "self scan line idiots." Thank you, thank you very much.

And this news item wins my "Too Gross To Finish Reading" prize of the day. I had to read the first paragraph or two, because I just didn't believe the headline meant what I thought it meant. But now I just don't want to know any more.

An anonymous commenter yesterday sent me this link to an article in a Kansas newspaper about what is inside people's fridges. (I think I've tapped into some sort of cultural zeitgeist here.) Most of the women interviewed seemed to have fridges like mine. But there was one overachiever who is so proud of how her refrigerator looks on the inside that she bought a model with a transparent door, just to show it off.

What can I say? There walk among us some who are not human.

[Excuse me while I go look up "zeitgeist." Hmmm.....yes, I think that was the right word; but using cultural in front of it may be redundant. What do you think?]

The Hotfessional saw my 3 bottles of salsa and raised me 12 (yes, 12) bottles of salad dressing. I happily bestow the title of Condiment Queen on her deserving vinagrette-ness. If I knew how to make one of those nifty blog buttons, I would do it and send her the code. She also (feeling bad knowing that she had bested me in the condiment competition) granted me an award that looks very pretty, but I have no idea how to show it here. It says "Brillante Weblog - premio 2008," which may or may not translate to "Brillo Blog - Prematurely 2008." That doesn't really make sense to me, but that's what the blogosphere is all about - you can say anything you like and it doesn't even have to be coherent.

Actually, that hits a little close to home, now, doesn't it?

But what about the kids, you ask? Here I am this week, posting about news articles and the contents of my refrigerator and finances and knitting, and where the heck are the children all this time? Are they foraging for themselves among all those rotting vegetables and bottles of salsa, looking in vain for something to fill their poor little tummies while their mother sits blogging?

(Actually, while I was arranging the food items on the counter for yesterday's photo shoot and yelling at Rachel and Susie to stay out of the picture and stop touching the gross zucchini, for heaven's sake! - Anna said, "You know, this is getting a little weird.")

Happily, everyone has been well-fed this week, despite my out-of-control blogging habit. Theo (our milk-allergic kid) is away, so we've been having a dairyfest of sorts - homemade pizza Tuesday and today; ice cream with the not-quite-jelled peach jam yesterday; homemade whipped cream to go with our blueberries on Monday. We've done everything short of making a butter sculpture, actually.

Oh, and today we had an ice-cream cake (as opposed to our usual homemade, dairy-free ones) for Anna's birthday. We're celebrating a day early, as she is off to a big amusement park with her youth group tomorrow (our birthday present to her). And I just realized that this year is a once-in-a-lifetime birthday for her - because the date is 08/08/08. Is that cool, or what? If only she had been born in the year 2000....

(For those of you who don't think that is really neat, I bet you're the type of folk that don't get all excited about "perfect square" days, either. You probably don't even care that the next one is coming up in 2009, on March the 3rd.)

It is also a special birthday, because it marks exactly 2 years since Anna was stolen by extra-terrestrials and replaced with an alienated teen clone. Anna, honey, we wish you were here! We can't forget how you used to smile at us all the time and how you would greet every day like a present waiting to be opened. We sort of miss that.

(Sigh.) I had better stop now before I get too maudlin. Well, more maudlin...

Is "maudlin" a word? It's looking funny.


  1. *googling maudlin* Ummm sure.

    If I'da know'd that there was a condiment contest I would'a entered. Really 12. That is nothing. There is nothing in my fridge BUT condiments and milk. yak. Although I am sure that the DVD remote is in there somewhere....

    Don't make me post pic's of my fridge man....

  2. We've had a few vacation moments reminiscent of the cruise commercial where they talk about sighting the elusive smile of the teenage girl. It's just that her older brother threatening to tip her kayak set her off on the wrong foot!

  3. OH I love the days and years thing. I am always happy on days like 06/07/08. They make feel so special. I will be sad when the year 2012 is over.

  4. I could use a dairy-fest.

    Happy birthday to Anna!

  5. I seriously have to get some footage of my fridge--I'm sure I could be a contender for the coveted "condiment queen" title.

    And I would rather have no fridge than have one with clear doors. Although I guess that would be one way to get me to diet. Right along with any guests who haplessly venture into our kitchen and spy the copious funk scaling our refrigerator walls.

  6. We all just got over a nasty stomach bug here, and that article about the foot just about made me relapse!!
    Happy Birthday to Anna!

  7. Maudlin is the poster-child word for those of us who are raising teenagers [or have finished raised them] and would like to have our happy toddlers back.

  8. Excuse me, but I'M the Condiment Queen. My friends dubbed me that in college and I've been trying to live up to it ever since.

    Just asked my husband who is grossed out by my plate after every meal because of all the dressings and sauces I use to make things taste better!

  9. I just cleaned out my fridge. Hadn't done it since the graduation family visitation fest in early June. MM and I both had summer marathon classes and of course the children would never think to clean the fridge THEMSELVES, so with school behind me I did it. O.M.G. Bio Hazard. I think I may have created my own penicillin in the vegetable drawer. It is so gorgeous now and it looks like a perfect advertisement fridge. I am so proud I may invite guests in to stand in the kitchen and just repeatedly open the door in front of them.

  10. I think you should invest in the fridge with the transparent door. I know that feeling of pride (albeit fleeting). Larry has to pull me aside and say, "Honey, I don't think our guests really want to see how you cleaned out the fridge." Thank goodness for the blogosphere. I know someone out there will care.

  11. Thank you for the human foot article. And I thought Canada was a much safer place to live!

    Yes, I think "cultural zeitgeist" is redundant but I would be very tempted to write the phrase myself. I give kudos for any use of the word, "zeitgeist," even if it is redundant.

    Enjoy your dairy fest!

  12. Happy Birthday Anna! My nephew is scheduled to make his arrival today, so he will have an 08/08/08 birthday also. I had never heard about "perfect square" days...are those in the same category as the "golden" birthday?

  13. ha! I think I'm going to pay bills today just so I can write 08/08/08 on my checks.

    Oh, who am I kidding? Pay bills. Snort.

  14. Dairyfest?! Sounds like heaven.

  15. We love the cool dates thing here in our house. Of course we also get excited when the digital clock says 12:34 or 11:11. We're easily entertained.

    BTW, my vote is yes, "cultural zeitgeist" is verbal double dipping. On the bright side though, you are doing your part for literacy as several people just looked up the meaning of zeitgeist!

  16. Maudlin is a word. Though, I confess, I had to look it up [smile].

    As for "cultural zeitgeist": Yes, that is a tad redundant. But if we didn't repeat ourselves, I don't think think anyone would remember what we said. Without repetition there is no retention. We practically have to keep saying the same thing over and over again. So, I don't think that it's all that bad to use two words that have similar meaning if they compliment each other. So, you're probably okay being redundant.

    Okay, okay, I'll stop now [smile].


  17. Just to show you how ridiculously competitive I am, I just did an inventory of my fridge.
    I have,
    13 jars of pickles
    9 salad dressings
    9 bottles of BBQ sauce
    5 ice cream toppings
    4 jars of jam
    3 bottles of ketchup
    3 bottles of mustard
    1 jar of salsa

    (I think I could sing that list to the tune of "12 days of Christmas")

    I have come to the conclusion that we are only using the front three inches of the shelf space in the refrigerator for real food, the rest is being used for condiments.

  18. My dad emailed me on my birthday to inform me that I am a perfect cube this year. Very exciting.

  19. The highlight of my son's summer was the time in the car when he was listening to 103.3 (The Vibe) on the radio and suddenly realized that it was 10:33. Wa-hoo. Life in the fast lane... ;)

  20. Jill, you are definitely welcome in my home anytime...

  21. I think maybe I should write a book called "Cooking with condiments"

  22. I love the word maudlin. And, also - zeitgeist. Nice word-smithing.

  23. I just love this embedded comments box and the one less click I have to make.



  24. Happy Birthday Anna!

    My dd had a birthday yesterday (19yo) but 08-07-08 just isn't as cool as 08-08-08. Lucky duck. *sigh*

    * It's the last day to enter my CONTEST! Do you need a piggy bank??? *

  25. Many happy returns to your daughter:) Yes, maudlin is a word and I'd totally use it if I had to give up my Condiment Queen crown to Hotfessional for hording a dozen bottles of salad dressing.

  26. Those aliens are bearing down upon Stryker! Maybe the real Stryker can send the real Anna a message on your behalf? He should be switched for hormonal terror in about six months.

  27. hilarious! I will add you (and anna) to my prayer list:)

  28. I am thinking I would trade you my snarky 13 year old boy and 4 bottles of curry catsup, for Anna and your 3 jars of salsa. really I think it would bre a nice break for both of us. I don't know, the curry catsup will be hard to part with.

  29. Eewwww! A trend of feet washing on shore in B.C.? That's enough to keep me away from the beaches!

    You are sounding very upbeat. It must have been the dairy-fest. You must have enjoyed it.

    Do you google your posts often? I have never thought of it. I must go try it. Although, I'm a little nervouse I'll end up disappointed, like Charlie Brown, and beat my head on the nearest wall. Good Grief!

  30. If you want people to click on all those lovely links you like to supply, you've got to stop linking to stuff like, oh, I don't know...feet in tennis shoes washing up on the shore. Oh, and they seem to have fallen off of a human body naturally as consequence of poor said human being in the water too long.

    Seriously. I don't think I can even eat chocolate now. And you thought my little mouse picture was going to make you hurl? I'm off to visit my toilet now....