Sunday, October 04, 2009

Really?!?

Okay - this is one reality show I am not going to watch.  After enduring 6 pregnancies (with all the requisite morning sickness, varicose veins, crabbiness, and inability to breathe throughout the 3rd trimester that are trademarks of my gestations), I'm not interested in finding out how some women do not realize they are carrying a baby until it is time to deliver said creature.  Get this - one of the women goes to the ER with what she thinks is appendicitis; and the ER doctor discovers a baby which is crowning

You know, I never mixed up that crowning sensation with appendicitis pains.  That would be akin to mistaking an unanaesthetized limb amputation for a toothache.

(Come to think of it, why was the ER doctor looking between her legs if she were screaming about appendicitis, anyway?  That's sort of weird, right there.)

Where was I?  Oh, yes - every time I am 9 months pregnant, there are stories in the local paper about a pregnant woman who thinks she needs to poop and ends up practically birthing her baby in the toilet.  Or about a pregnant woman who cannot manage to suffer long enough to avoid giving birth in the car.  I read these articles and I start hoping that, yes, that woman will be me.  This will be the time I get away with a labor that is painfree.  This time, I won't be spending an hour in a Jacuzzi at the birth center and begging my husband to KILL ME NOW.  I won't have to wonder, after the baby is born, if that euphoric feeling I'm experiencing is really a rush of love for my newborn or simply overwhelming relief that the pain has finally stopped.

Anywhoo, I try not to begrudge these women their luck.  But that doesn't mean I have to watch them show off their painfree births.  Next thing you know, there will be a show featuring newly-nursing mothers who don't look as if they are sporting 2 regulation-size footballs where their boobs should be.  And I'm not watching that one, either.

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22 comments:

  1. I couldn't even walk up a slight hill at the end - how can they not know? Boggles the mind.

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  2. Yeah, I'm with you. How the hell can you not know you're lugging around a bowling ball? An animated one at that. Good god, do they think they're just having excessive gas bubbles? That jab to the ribs? What's that? Indigestion?

    I am not buying it.

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  3. I have friends who barely made the 15 minute drive to the hosptial without giving birth in the car. I hate those friends. I also hate the people who don't know they're pregnant or giving birth. Hello water weight gain, acid reflux, swift kicks to the bladder, charley horses, the belly that could reach out and touch you as you stood across the room... Any of this ringing a bell?

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  4. I'm assuming you're talking about that show on TLC "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" or whatever they call it. What I can't believe is that there are enough clueless women in this world that they can make a SHOW out of it! And not just a one-hour special, but a weekly show! By the ninth month with my daughter I felt like the bottom was going to drop out at any moment. She had the hiccups so often that my stomach was never still! The kids I babysat at the time would just sit and watch my stomach move - it was that entertaining.

    I can buy that maybe a couple of overweight women (so the tummy doesn't show as much) having their first could be clueless. But more often than not, the women on this show are clueless about a second, third, or fourth pregnancy! Hello?

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  5. OMG. What is wrong with people? And by people I mean Hollywood.

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  6. the scary thing about this, ladies is... It will be a hit. Mark my words!

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  7. Seriously, how can you not know? Every time the commercial for that show comes on, DH changes the channel because he knows I'm about to start yelling at the tv :). How about the one where the girl thought she was pooping? Didn't she notice it was coming out the WRONG HOLE? Ok, now I'm yelling on your blog. I better go.
    I think this show is a fake.

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  8. I'm with you! I had to stop mid-sentence, every sentence to breathe. Yeah, I knew I was pregnant.

    How can a woman be that out of touch with her own body?? I'm talking first trimester, let alone third!

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  9. I will never understand this phenomenon. I've always been sure they are lying, because REALLY?!? Not know!??

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  10. I've seen that show, or one like it. The woman had twins! Yeah, right. It really is hard to believe such a thing is possible.
    ~annie

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  11. A (male and childless) friend of mine calls this "the scariest show on television," and I'm inclined to agree.

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  12. My friend used to work in a howpital where a teenage girl came in to the ER with horrible back pains that were coming every few minutes. Her mother was really concerned and couldn't figure out why her daughter was in so much pain.
    The ER staff figured it out pretty quick and sent her up to the women's center where she delivered her baby.
    She swore she didn't know that she was pregnant. I think she just didn't want to get in trouble with her parents.
    Plus, I think the whole family was pretty stupid.

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  13. I don't know....I think I would rather have watched that show than the one I actually watched last night on TLC about people who are raising MONKEY babies because they either can't have kids or their kids grew up and now they can have a "baby" who never grows up.

    But, I did know a girl who claims she didn't know she was pregnant and had the baby at home.

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  14. When I was in college, this very thing happened to the track coach's wife. She was wondering why no matter how much she kept running, her stomach was getting bigger. She honestly didn't know until she went into labor and they were at the hospital to figure out why she was having these excruciating pains.

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  15. My brother-in-law's mother found out she was expecting--her 8th!!--the day before giving birth. In her case, she was well into her 40's, was seriously thinking about divorce, was very obese, and I think she very much didn't want to be and didn't want to know.

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  16. I think denial -- serious denial -- is involved in most these cases. There's a way to convince yourself of almost anything if you want to believe it badly enough. But seriously, twins? We're talking EIGHT limbs punching and thrashing, all at the same time and usually when you're trying to sleep. Or eat. Or breathe. Or pee. Or NOT pee. Really...

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  17. I always wondered how they could NOT feel kicking and punching that goes on?

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  18. Honestly!!! I'm jealous/hate them xoxo

    SC

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  19. How could I have missed that show? Unfortunately always know I'm pregnant, and labor is just plain nasty. Why I've done it six times is beyond me.

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  20. Gosh, I've never mistaken that crowning feeling for anything besides COMPLETELY AND THOROUGHLY BURNING MY BUM TO THE POINT THAT I CAN'T TAKE IT.. YET I MUST.

    Amazing.

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  21. I have always been sooooo jealous of those women. I would so have liked to not know I was pregnant instead of having the 9 month stomach flu while carrying around over half my own weight and having no room in my torso for it's vital organs to carry on their normal functions. Alas, I will never be on that show....

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  22. Okay, so my question is, how did they not know something was slightly off when they didn't get their monthly? Cause, usually, that's the first sign, it's gone missing. BUT if you're on some sort of birth control, I guess it'd be missing anyway.

    I've had two children. Both times, I signed up for drug free deliveries. But, lets go back to throughout pregnancy, I just don't get it how one wouldn't notice the changes of ones body. Breasts, hips, butt, belly? Unless your lucky and grow very little belly, but still, you gotta feel the baby.

    Personally, I think all that crap is a load of garbage.

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