Sunday, January 10, 2010

Don't Shop For Me At Home Depot...

Perhaps it isn't wise of me to sit around waiting for Larry to come up with a good anniversary gift, considering his gift-giving history. Let's see, we all recall the bananas he gave me last Valentine's Day, correct? So perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised on Christmas morning when he handed me a package and urged me to open it. It was long, with something that felt suspiciously like a brush on one end.

"You didn't," I said.

"What?"

"It's something to clean my car off with. You got me an ice scraper for Christmas?"

"It's a pretty color," he promised.

Oh! Being a sucker for any happy combination of form and function, I tore off the wrapping to discover a handy-dandy windshield scraper/brush in the dainty color of....

Construction-truck yellow?

How...um...feminine....

Larry, noting the puzzled expression on my face, said, "Look! It's got a telescoping handle!"

"I thought it would be purple..."

"See? It pulls out so you can reach the whole windshield!"

"Are you telling me to clean off my own car and stop bothering you?"

"I thought you'd want something you could reach the top of the van with," he said, hurt.

Apparently, chivalry is dead.

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20 comments:

  1. Oh honey, poor you, poor Larry. Men are just clueless sometimes!

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  2. I. am. speechless.
    Do I need to send my husband (the non-excitable Swede) over to give Larry some advice? Wait, scratch that. We only give each other cards for our anniversary. Sometimes we go out for dinner IF we have the energy.

    Or you could just do what I do for my birthday: buy your own presents, wrap them up, and open them!

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  3. LOL

    And, I just read your Valentine's Day entry from last year and came up with an idea. Start dropping hints *now* about your "cacao deficiency" and you're almost, probably, most likely *guaranteed* chocolate (not bananas) next month. :)

    I'll be crossing my fingers for you! :)

    ~Lynn

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  4. I don't know if it was here, or a different blog, but I can beat that.

    One year for Xmas, Darling Husband got me a kitchen garbage can and trash bags.

    Who says romance is dead?

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  5. "I thought it would be purple." Hah.

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  6. LOL and I read the title to the tune of Don't Cry for Me Argentina!

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  7. I wonder if you were the only one to figure that out?

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  8. I have no comment, I'm the one who asked for a toilet auger this year.

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  9. Thank Larry for helping boost our stock options lol. Devildog works at the orange box. And I suggest you give him a list of what you'd like, and perhaps include the store as well as the UPC so he can go to the store and ask for someone to locate any of those listed items.

    In the 5 years I've been crocheting and 2 years knitting, NO one has given me anything remotely yarn-crafting related. I'd be thrilled with a storage system even. I've even asked for stuff. No one listens to me - what's new there right?
    My birthday is in 10 days, and a couple days after my birthday is the midnight knit in at my local yarn shop. I'm going and having a good time. Happy freakin birthday to me! (and another friend at the shop)

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  10. I blame the women's movement of the 70's. Even further back. Darn that Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. If it weren't for them and their whole "we need rights, we need to vote, we need to own property" you'd get flowers and chocolates and silk pajamas. Ice scraper. Snort.

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  11. I was unaware of the world of ice scrapers until my kids moved to snow country. I got them awesome ones at Eddie Bauer--they have fur-lined sleeves to keep your hand and forearm warm and dry while you're scraping. I'm told that is good.

    Maybe Larry is planning on borrowing your scraper to clean the roof off for you--that would be romantic, no?

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  12. Don't you miss the days when gifts were more romantic than utilitarian? Perhaps he was saying, "I love you so much honey, I promise to scrape off all ice and snow from your vehicle for the rest of this long, dreary winter season." Perhaps you should fake it that that's how you received the gift and now you're waiting for the rest of the gift to magically appear.

    By the way, we've taken to putting a small hearter in my van. It's fabulous. My van is constantly free from ice and snow and no scraping involved. I fully encourage all others to follow this route.

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  13. I got a purple one AND I got an "as seen on TV" windshield cleaner kit. Feel the love.

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  14. I feel your pain. My husband bought me a fire pit for Christmas. While most women would be ever so grateful (and I'm trying to be, too) the fact remains that I asked him to put in an outdoor fireplace last summer. Made from stone and/or brick. Big. And real. Not a portable fire pit.

    Is there a class for men like ours?

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  15. I'm jealous. I had to buy one of those telescoping-handle scrapers for myself this year. I kept dropping hints but he didn't catch on...

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  16. It just so happens that I have one of those telescoping handled snow brushes and mine IS purple.

    Only I had to buy it myself 'cause Mr. Blognut said I could reach the top of the van if I used a broom.

    A broom? I do not think so.

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  17. My husband saw those at Costco and had to have one too. He, thank goodness, had me give it to him.

    We came up with a word long ago in our family that the English language so desperately needs--spread the word, let's get it in the OED! It has a French pronunciation to it, since we all speak some French here. It is a word for when you give someone something (or vice versa) that you bought not because they would want or need it--but because you do.

    A Donvier.

    One guess where that came from.

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  18. Hummm, sounds like the lawn mower I got for Mother's Day one year.

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  19. My menfolk are in favor of the large push-style broom for cleaning off cars.

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  20. OMG! I think he's my husband's long lost twin! One special occasion (Vday or anni or christmas or somehting) I got memory for my computer. another day, I got a hard drive. Guess where his favorite place to shop is? *hint, it ends with a buy and starts with a best...* :D

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