Perhaps it isn't wise of me to sit around waiting for Larry to come up with a good anniversary gift, considering his gift-giving history. Let's see, we all recall the bananas he gave me last Valentine's Day, correct? So perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised on Christmas morning when he handed me a package and urged me to open it. It was long, with something that felt suspiciously like a brush on one end.
"You didn't," I said.
"It's something to clean my car off with. You got me an ice scraper for Christmas?"
"It's a pretty color," he promised.
Oh! Being a sucker for any happy combination of form and function, I tore off the wrapping to discover a handy-dandy windshield scraper/brush in the dainty color of....
Larry, noting the puzzled expression on my face, said, "Look! It's got a telescoping handle!"
"I thought it would be purple..."
"See? It pulls out so you can reach the whole windshield!"
"Are you telling me to clean off my own car and stop bothering you?"
"I thought you'd want something you could reach the top of the van with," he said, hurt.
Apparently, chivalry is dead.