Outsmarted

I had just settled in on the couch last night for a cozy evening with Words With Friends (because we middle-aged folks are all about the exciting life here), when I spotted a mouse wander nonchalantly into my living room.  Seriously, he was all, "Hey, what's up, guys?" until my screams sent him scurrying back into the kitchen as fast as his little mouse feet could carry him.

Larry came running downstairs with an empty laundry basket ("I thought it was a bat," he explained, because apparently my spouse is nothing if not a one-man rodent SWAT team); so I left Larry looking for the creature and went to bed early.  He came upstairs a short time later.

"Did you find him?" I asked.

"No. But I set 4 mousetraps,' he said, with the resoluteness of an astronaut just back from a tricky spacewalk. "We'll get'm."

My hero.  I mean, that's downright sexy, isn't it?

I've got this, honey.

Naturally, I let Larry go downstairs first this morning, while I procrastinated as long as I could by showering, doing my hair, etc.  When I did come down, I found my beloved sitting in the living room armchair, sipping his coffee and gazing out at the birdfeeder, looking for all the world like a carefree homeowner whose life is not plagued by a perpetual parade of vermin through his personal castle.

"So, did the traps work?" I asked, full of a hope apparently bestowed on me by a good night's rest and the brightness of the morning sun.

"Well, I'm not sure," said Larry.

Picture me here, figuratively grabbing him by his non-existent lapels while shouting, "What? What do you mean, not sure?"

"Well," and here Larry paused for altogether too long a time, "there's one trap missing."

Missing. Missing.

March is a good time of year to sell a house, right?




Comments

  1. Wait. There's "one" missing? Doesn't that mean there was more than one?
    I hope not!

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  2. Once a mouse dragged a trap across the floor back to his entry hole and then went down it, leaving his foot behind in the trap. So disturbing.

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  3. So now you are on the lookout for a dead mouse with a mousetrap on his bag. Well, on the upside, that should be easy to spot and he most likely didn't get very far!

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  4. Lol! Excellent imagery. Feeling your pain and confusion. Where the hell is the missing trap? What kind of mouse IS this?

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  5. Missing has to be the most frightening response he could have given you...WHAT was IT?

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  6. Because I consider you my friend, I won't tell you what IT was when this exact thing happened to my mom many years ago. I just hope Larry finds that teeny tiny mouse in the trap very,very soon.

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  7. This reminds me of the cockamouse in How I Met Your Mother, when they threw a book on it and it crawled with the book on its back.

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  8. You know, we don't have mice in our house up here. I'm not sure about buying down there. Not at all.

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  9. I am officially FREAKED OUT here. Seriously. I HATE mice.

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  10. ?!???!!!??

    This may be the most frightening post I've ever read.

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  11. Pack your most precious possessions & just leave the house. Better yet wennie roasts & smores are good this time of year!

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  12. Have you considered a cat? My three are quite keen on mice, and whenever a mouse ventures into our house he or she does not saunter. In fact it's about 50-50 whether they are presented to me in a defunct condition, or bowled down the living room whereupon the dazed rodent can be captured and hurled out the front door. At which point the disappointed cats mill about my ankles and the rodent lights out for Canada. I picture him in a mouse bar in Quebec, with a pint in front him saying, "And no shit, Francois, it had fangs THIS big!"

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  13. I had this happen, but with a rat. It was horrible.

    I am glad this turned out well--I love Cribbage as well . . . but now all my time is taken with knitting a baby blanket. It WILL get done.

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