Saturday, November 17, 2012

Love Among The Waffle Fries

After her tennis lesson today, Rachel and I dropped by a crowded ChikFilA for a snack.  It was so crowded, in fact, that we had to grab 2 seats right next to a middle-aged couple, at what would normally be a table for 4.  At first, we were too busy breaking open our portion-control-size condiments to pay attention to our new neighbors; but I became aware of their conversation when I heard the woman say, dismissively, "He's just obsessed with his car and his motorbike."

Whereupon her husband said, "Well, when you're not married, you can do what you like."

I froze.  Wouldn't you have done the same?  When you're not married, you can do what you like.  Them's fightin' words, buddy.  Even though you don't realize it...

Without missing a beat, his wife said, "You don't get to do what you like?"

Why do I want to mention here that she was wearing a snowflake sweater?  She was.

...and agree with their wives.
Her husband, seemingly unaware of the danger, said, "I just meant that, if he wants to up and move to California and live in a shack, he can do that."

Snowflake Sweater Woman, with an edge to her voice that even Mr. Clueless next to me could identify, "Do YOU want to move to California and live in a shack?"

Rachel, blissfully unaware of the marital drama being enacted less than 2 feet away, continued to eat her waffle fries. 

Mr. Clueless, standing his ground, "Well, maybe I do.  That's not the point.  I'm just saying he doesn't have to ask his wife."

"Because you're free to go do that," said Snowflake Sweater Woman, stiffly. "You can do what you like. But I'm not going to live in a shack."

Whereupon her husband, obviously a married person of great experience, changed the subject of the conversation.  But he knew he was right.


  1. Every time I think I should have married any of the men who asked, I read posts like this and give a great sigh of relief.

    I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and it's the best feeling in the world.

  2. You can have anything you want. You just can't have everything you want. That's true across the board. That guy can't live in a shack AND stay married. Just like I can't be a full-time musician AND a full-time luthier. I only have so much time! This is a 'have your cake and eat it too' problem, married or not.

  3. Heh. Sitting next to a ticking time bomb is ALWAYS fun :)

  4. My husband would like new wheels for his car but it ain't happening.

  5. LOL!! Never argue with a woman in a snowflake sweater.

  6. This story made me snort. Bless his heart for changing the subject before he got divorced in the middle of Chik-Fil-A. He wasn't aware enough to prevent the *ahem* situation, but he was experienced enough in the ways of matrimony to get himself out of it. That's style.

  7. He sure displayed an amazing amount of stupidity. I wonder how long he will be paying for that little conversation!

  8. I agree with Patience: Never argue with a woman in a snowflake sweater.

  9. Oh, dear, Mr. Clueless......(sigh) have to watch out for the ones in snowflake sweaters. It is the sweet looking ones that will get you....every time.

  10. Ha, he must have thought he'd get away with that one on account of the sweater. Clearly, he was wrong.

  11. Is this where I chime in to say that I own not one, but TWO snowflake sweaters?

    No wonder my husband's scared of me.

  12. It's like he doesn't even understand what his words are conveying. Snowflake sweaters--like circus clowns--only SEEM friendly and innocent. Everyone knows they are actually terrifying. Everyone except the man in this story.