Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Relax! Be Happy! Or Else!

Oh, faithful readers (or at least my middle-aged compatriots amongst you) - there is no hope for us. Or, as the sub-headline of the Washington Post article put it:

Another reason to stress: Stress itself may lead to dementia

The study followed 800 women for 38 years and found that those who reported being stressed during middle age (i.e., the NORMAL people) were 21% more likely to develop Alzheimers as they got older.

Listen, folks, stress is synonymous with middle age.  Think about it: teenagers, wrinkles, menopause...the list goes on.  And now I'm being told that it's all an express ticket to the Alzheimer's rodeo?  Gee, I can hardly wait. 

I am trying hard not to dwell on the budget impasse/Obamacare/debt ceiling imbroglio, but please - if you happen to be a Congressperson who believes that the threat of a government shutdown is a legitimate budget negotiating tactic, then don't suddenly be shocked - SHOCKED - when certain gov't services are not being provided during the shutdown that you yourself have rashly precipitated.  Or, better yet, come back to the bargaining table to discuss the BUDGET, not a healthcare law that has already been passed by Congress and declared constitutional by the Supreme Court.

Also, please don't keep raking in your paychecks while you are depriving the federal workforce of theirs.  It makes you look like the hypocrites that you are.  Not to mention that you are increasing my risk of Alzheimers by stressing me out with your talk about how you NEED your paycheck to pay your mortgage, unlike the rest of America, I guess.

I need to cheer up.  Maybe I'll go watch Season 1, Episode 2 of ALF again.  The jigsaw puzzle joke gets me every time.


  1. My nightmare this week. Well half of it.

  2. I just read that the exclusive gym is still open for congresspeople. But the one for congressional staff is closed. And why do these people get their salaries for life? And healthcare for life? I don't want dementia so I guess I'm done with my rant.

  3. My stress level just went up while I read this post. (I don't blame you; I blame John Boehner. He now owes me blood pressure medication.)

  4. Yesterday I was listening to a great program on npr.
    It sounds like if you can get there that being in your 80's is a good place in your life.
    Now, how to get there?
    Meanwhile, worry is what we do.

    1. Yay! I'm only 3.5 yrs away from 80. Hope I can hang in there that long.

  5. I cannot believe that anyone would re-elect any one currently in office after this. That is all I will say.

    As for the stress in middle age study? It made me stressed!

  6. Huzzah! I nominate Suburban Correspondent for President and Congress--let's have COMMON SENSE and PREPARATION become the battle cry of government!

  7. I'm with Green Girl. I'll vote for you! I am completely and utterly stressed out by numerous things that you named, to wit, teenagers, menopause, government shutdown, and Congress. I am dealing with it by overconsuming chocolate.

  8. I, too, am with Green Girl! Suburban Correspondent for Congress!

  9. One - ONE of the Congressmen from my state has said he will not accept his salary while the government is shut down. The rest? Eff 'em. Don't get me started. Then there's the whole 'I have kids' stress thing. I know you get that, too. Just call me Stabby McStabberton. Suburban Correspondent for Congress, for sure!

  10. I'm so stressed right now, my lower lip has been twitching, non stop, for an hour and a half. I'll be in a nursing home by Christmas.

    The shutdown, OMG, I am so angry. The absurdity that is absolutely KILLING me is that they actually have two helicopters hovering over Mt. Rushmore, draping a tarp over it, so no one can see it, because it is "closed." It's a mountain for fuck's sake. This is like sucking all the oxygen out of the atmosphere, because it's American oxygen, so we can't breathe it right now. And the expense and pollution generated just to "close" a national monument. I am outraged.