Friday, December 16, 2016

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

David came home from college Tuesday evening, which meant that Wednesday we could go tree shopping. He's tall, you see, and completely capable of tying it onto the top of the van and of taking it off the van and into the house.

So we trooped off to Home Depot, where we tramped somewhat merrily through the not-at-all-snowy outside enclosure, searching for the perfect tree. I found one pretty fast. "Here it is, guys!" I said. "Let's go!"

Yeah, the bloom is off the rose with this activity. I just wanted to get the darn thing home and set up before I had to drive Brian to a math review session.

"Mommy," said Susie. "It's not big enough."

"They ALL look small outside," I told her. "Don't worry, it will look plenty big in our living room."

"Let's look at these," she suggested, motioning toward the 6-7 ft section. "These look better."

"No, no, those will be way too big - I know what I'm doing. Let's go!"

And back home we went, with our brand new tree. David brought it inside for us, and we all helped set it up in the stand. Then we stepped back to admire our work.

"It's too small," Susie said.

"That's just because the branches haven't spread out yet," I said, confidently. "Just give it a couple of hours - it will fill out that corner, like it always does."

[2 hours later]

Wishing you a skinny little Christmas...

David and I stood in the living room, staring at the tree. "Don't tell Susie, but that tree is too small," I said. Being a young man of few words, David just nodded and shrugged. I kept staring at the tree. "I don't get it - the more I look at it, the smaller it gets."

"It's a tree," offered David, sensibly.

Yeah, it's a tree, all right. But, honestly? It just doesn't fill the space right. It makes Christmas look as if it went on a diet. If the Grinch came along, he wouldn't even bother to steal this tree. He would just look at it and think, "My work here is done."

Worst of all? Susie knows she was right. And she'll never let me forget it.


  1. This might be the only reason I'm glad to have an artificial tree: it's always the same size. (But it sometimes looks too small, too.)

  2. You are right, this will be one of those things she brings up every year.

    But, it IS a pretty tree!

  3. Yeah but done is done. That done feeling is worth double in the Christmas season.

  4. Maybe you could put a flat box under it, that would raise it up a few inches and make it look taller?

  5. It's cute. We have a massive tree. I'd happily swap out. My dream tree (and like you, we have a real one) is a table-top aluminum one. Someday...

  6. It looks to me like it fits perfectly. And Amara is right about the "done" feeling.

    For the record, we don't have a tree at all. Because I am grinchy like that.

  7. I'm not happy with our tree either. It's the right size but it's not fluffy enough if that makes sense. It's like it needs more branches or something. Every time I look at it I just shake my head and turn away.

  8. haha I had to pull it up on the phone since it wasn't showing up on my work computer. shhh I have a fake tree and it's way too small. It's just the right price though!

  9. Yeah, you won't be picking the tree out next year. Guaranteed.