Monday, January 07, 2019

Working Girl

Bye, Christmas! 

Just quickly, because I'm tired and I have to go to work in the morning...

[Pause while I giggle softly to myself]

My first day of full-time work in 27 years was today and it was just orientation, but hey - I got a water bottle with the company logo on it! I felt irrationally pleased by that. Also, my ID photo did not suck, which is a big plus. Now if I could just do something about that driver's license photo...

The entire day, I felt as though I were Rip Van Winkle-ing it. The last time I had a job, my ID was just a picture. Were magnetic strips even a thing back then? This time - well, I don't even know yet what that card can do.

Last time I had a job, I didn't have to sit through a half-hour presentation about cellphones and social media use at work, because social media didn't exist and cellphones were rudimentary at best. I mean, picture it - you couldn't do anything on your work computer back then but work. I know, quaint!

Last time I had a job? I wasn't pleased as punch to be in a room full of grown-ups, because I hadn't been deprived of that particular experience for, oh, 27 years. Today? I was downright giddy.

And on and on and on...

So I was sitting on the couch this evening, trying to catch up on some reading, when the thought hit me: I'm going back in tomorrow. Like, that's 2 days in a row. Weird. It's as if it's my job or something.

No, I don't know what's wrong with me, either.

During orientation, we all had to hand in some identification for employment purposes, and then I watched as the admin aide came back in the room later and returned the passport to the guy next to me, and then the woman next to him, and so on. I waited patiently, but sometime after she had left, I raised my hand and asked the nice HR lady when I would be getting my passport back.

Passports are important, you know. You have to keep your eye on them. Especially if, like me, you're trying to impersonate an organized person with a full-time job...

The HR lady looked puzzled and said she thought that all the IDs had been returned. "I didn't get mine back yet," I insisted, in front of all those other grown-ups I was thrilled to be around, and then (and only then) I checked my purse. Wherein lay my passport. "Oh, uh, never mind!" I told her. "Ha, ha, it's right here, just forgot..."

No, really, you made the right choice hiring me. No worries!

In other news, we got rid of our Christmas tree yesterday; and, judging from this news item, that was not a moment too soon. Next year? We're going artificial, for sure.

Happy New Year! (Legos by Susie)


  1. Congratulations again to you! I can feel the joy all the way over herr on the other side of the country.
    That passport thing? Yeah, it could easily be me (if I had one and was going back to work). Half the time I don't know if they still have my credit card or if I put it away.

  2. I'm so happy for you!!! I hope day two is even better than day one!!!

  3. I'm glad your first day went well, I'm glad you found your passport, and I really, really like Susie's Lego.

  4. Sigh. I have made that kind of mistake a lot! Glad you are enjoying yourself so far!

  5. Oh joy -to be in a room with grown ups! (sigh, I have changed 3 poop diapers this morning). When I went back to work at a Catholic school as a part time advancement director (title was way more important sounding than what I did) a few years ago, I showed up on my first day and was lead to an office. They, um, left me there the entire day. Turns out a young alum had been found murdered the day before and the school was trying to cope with the unthinkable. No one really knew what to do with me. I remember trying desperately NOT to fall asleep at my desk in this empty office where no one seemed to know where I was. Love the passport thing!

  6. I was literally JUST wondering how your job was going this afternoon and I come home from work and here you are! If you are going for an artificial tree for next year, right now is the time to buy.

  7. You will not see the HR person for 3 months and when you do she will not remember you. She may do several of these meetings a week, and meet several people at each meeting. And these new employees frequently do something slightly daft. You need to up your game to be memorable. Start a fight, ask how long it will take to build up three years vacation so you can go to Mars, bring an emotional support snake.