Sex and Taxes

Aaah - I just filed our state and federal taxes.

Done.

Pretty amazing, huh? I think so. Of course, our fat refund is enough of an incentive to be proactive about filing. Gotta love that child tax credit, you know. Gosh, with all these kids, we're practically making money. Maybe we had better go have some more...

I cleaned the house and caught up on laundry this morning while Larry and the children were at church (major advantage to agreeing to raise the kids in your spouse's religion, not yours), all so I could escape to our annual Yoga Center luncheon this afternoon. It was a treat to enjoy a meal on a non-vinyl tablecloth with glassware that wasn't plastic; and no one there whined the entire time. The food was terrific, unlike the slop that I dish out day after day, week after week,....so good, in fact, that I spent the rest of the week's Weight Watcher points on it. Which is unfortunate, because I would really like to eat something tomorrow.

I did weigh-in at 2 pounds lighter last week (for a total of 4.5 pounds - go, me!); but I forgot to boast about it, what with being so busy having run-ins with the law and googling "chastity belts" to buy for my teenage daughter. This morning I informed her that if she's not mature enough to take care of a baby, she's not mature enough to be having sex with anyone. I also told her that, despite how the movies and TV make it seem, teens can resist their sexual urges and keep their clothes on. And I'm not raising her babies.

I think I embarrassed the heck out of her. Good.

Larry wants the computer - he's starting to mutter something about "wasting time" and "imaginary friends" again. He's just jealous he doesn't have a blog.

Everyone Else Has One (Tag Cloud, That Is)

I'm trying to figure out that neat Technorati tag cloud thing that all the other kids are getting on their blogs, but it isn't working...yet. Ignore any weirdness in the left-hand column until I figure it out. Except the humor-blogs.com weirdness, of course. That's permanent.

I'm sure all 10 of my faithful readers remember my crowing with triumph over ordering my Christmas photo cards way back in November. As soon as the cards arrived, I efficiently addressed the envelopes and then put them aside (readers, please note - don't try this at home) until I could get around to buying Christmas-y stamps. I'll be lucky if those darn cards ever turn up again. But the stamps I got are nice. I guess I could just use them next year, if the postal rates don't rise again.

Larry and I attempted to sneak away for a date this evening, but Susie woke up and screamed until we agreed to come back. I hate cellphones.

And is any evening complete without a child coming up to me (after bedtime) and saying his stomach hurts? It was Brian's turn tonight, so I gave him a dishpan and sent him back to bed. At least he's in the bottom bunk this week.

They just do this to me to keep me on edge, I know it.

How do you know when blogging is taking over your life? That's easy - it's when you start calling the kids by their blog pseudonyms instead of their true names. Not that I've ever done that....

Here And There And All Around The Blogosphere

What a fun day! I watched the kids while my husband worked on the kitchen floor. Nothing like getting a break over the weekend so that I can start fresh on Monday (that's, um, sarcasm, folks, in case you couldn't tell). The children and I played refugee again, eating out and wandering around town in order to stay out of Larry's way. My kids are getting spoiled - "Fries again?" they whine - and I'm gaining (more) weight as a result of our substandard diet. But I refuse to even pretend to start a diet until January - I'm nothing if not realistic. Do you hear me, Sue?

Meanwhile, over at Because I Said So, Dawn is being bombarded with comments to the effect that if you break the rules of the Car Seat Gods by buckling your child into his car seat while he is wearing his coat, you are risking severe injury or even death. Give me a break, people. The kid may move an extra half inch due to the puffiness of the coat, but, compared to how we all were secured in the car in our youth (which is, not at all), I don't think we have a lot to worry about here. Sheesh. Talk about zero tolerance for risk. Next everyone will be saying that we shouldn't let them ride bikes without full body padding. What? No one rides bikes anymore? Oh. How about roller skates? Oh. Those are gone too, huh? Well, what do kids do these days? Video games? Okay, how about carpal tunnel? Is anyone addressing the fact that today's youth is risking a massive epidemic of carpal tunnel? I bet not - everyone's too busy obsessing over what the poor kids are wearing in the car. Ignore them, Dawn - just ignore them.

I know, I know - you all want to hear about Anna. There seem to be a bunch of Anna fans out there, who are reliving their own adolescent angst by reading my posts about my daughter's severe case of teenager-itis. Well, I have cemented my position as meanest mother in the entire world because I refused to run out at 8 PM yesterday evening to find a black shirt for her to wear to a flute choir concert this morning.

I'd like to say in my defense that, when I took her shopping last weekend, I bought her a beautiful teal-colored blouse for this same concert, because everyone was supposed to wear a colorful shirt (colorful, as in "not black"). But the sartorial requirements changed at the last minute; and all the other mothers jumped into the breach, as it were, and went out at the last minute and bought the requisite black bodice. So now Anna can always remember when I said to her, "I'm sure some of the other girls won't have black blouses either, honey." And beat me over the head with it mercilessly.

I'll just take the money I saved on the shirt and put it into her therapy fund.

Anna was also surprised today to hear me say that it is her laundry day. Even though Saturday has been her laundry day for the past 3 years. You would think she'd detect a pattern by now.

Enough! I have other children who still love me. Well, maybe not Theo. He opted to go on a backpacking trip with the Boy Scouts this weekend, even though the weather makes for some fairly cold camping. Apparently he'd rather freeze his a** off than stick around here. I think he's been googling "Foreign Legion," also.

Larry gave up on trying to light the fireplace. We are going to call the people who installed it and pay 80 bucks for them to come here and show us how to do it. And yes, as a matter of fact we do feel stupid. How did you guess?

See all those hyperlinks in this post? Those are for Diesel. I like to make the meaning of my posts accessible to everyone, not just to those loyal readers who check in every day. And Diesel would check in every day, but he's been too busy photoshopping himself into pictures with Nicholas Cage. Check it out.