Monday, January 28, 2008

Sex and Taxes

Aaah - I just filed our state and federal taxes.


Pretty amazing, huh? I think so. Of course, our fat refund is enough of an incentive to be proactive about filing. Gotta love that child tax credit, you know. Gosh, with all these kids, we're practically making money. Maybe we had better go have some more...

I cleaned the house and caught up on laundry this morning while Larry and the children were at church (major advantage to agreeing to raise the kids in your spouse's religion, not yours), all so I could escape to our annual Yoga Center luncheon this afternoon. It was a treat to enjoy a meal on a non-vinyl tablecloth with glassware that wasn't plastic; and no one there whined the entire time. The food was terrific, unlike the slop that I dish out day after day, week after week, good, in fact, that I spent the rest of the week's Weight Watcher points on it. Which is unfortunate, because I would really like to eat something tomorrow.

I did weigh-in at 2 pounds lighter last week (for a total of 4.5 pounds - go, me!); but I forgot to boast about it, what with being so busy having run-ins with the law and googling "chastity belts" to buy for my teenage daughter. This morning I informed her that if she's not mature enough to take care of a baby, she's not mature enough to be having sex with anyone. I also told her that, despite how the movies and TV make it seem, teens can resist their sexual urges and keep their clothes on. And I'm not raising her babies.

I think I embarrassed the heck out of her. Good.

Larry wants the computer - he's starting to mutter something about "wasting time" and "imaginary friends" again. He's just jealous he doesn't have a blog.


  1. Now I feel guilty; my husband takes the kids to church on weekends, too... but I usually just sleep. Speaking of husbands, don't let yours start his own blog. I made the mistake of encouraging mine to start one and now he thinks he's entitled to some computer time! Men. They just don't understand women and our imaginary friends!
    Found you through MadMad. Hope you don't mind another imaginary person reading your blog.

  2. Repeat after me: "Yes, dear; as soon as I'm done with this blog."

    (Excerpt from my time management lecture, posted today.)

    Yay, you on the 4.5 pounds, and yay, Breeders Tax Credit!

  3. Larry sounds like my hubby. Why do they have to be so damn jealous?

  4. I can't wait to get our refund. It really is an incentive to do it. Also, now I just realized why my husband must have agreed to let our kids be raised in my religion. He gets peace and quiet time at home, while I'm getting a headache trying to keep the kids quiet in church!

  5. I talked to my daughter about your daughter and her friend's thoughts on the stepmom in Juno raising the baby. Luckily, the idea had never entered her mind.

    Good strategy on the church thing!

  6. I'm not sure if we're getting any tax money back or not. Maybe I should go procreate.

  7. Hey, I finally saw Juno - thanks to your post on Anna's reaction. Gawd, this movie does not service to families with teenage girls, does it?

    Oh...and HI LARRY! Though I'm just a figment of your wife's imagination, I'm a friendly frabication!

    Heidi :)

  8. Good for you getting the taxes done already! We're still waiting for 3 more W-2's to arrive and then it tax refund city! Between Turbo tax online and automatic deposit refunds, we should have it all spent by the end of February!

  9. How nice to have filed your taxes already! We're still W-A-I-T-I-N-G for our statements to file with.

    Maybe Larry needs a blog of his own, so he can make imaginary friends to have fun with.

  10. If you find a nice chastity belt somewhere online, let me know.

  11. Were you looking for this?

    There's not enough time in the world for the snarky comments I want to post on this person's site.

    So I think I'm going to make fun of her.

    I love the BlogRush widget referrals.

  12. The Saint has taken to calling my bloggy friends my "bleeps". SHEESH.

  13. And I thought I had it bad with my oldest looking up questionable stuff on the Internet. I won't let her watch Juno, if and when it ever comes out here in Spain. :)

  14. Ugh - my husband was trying to buy Red Sox tix over the computer - which is impossible, which meant he tied up the computer for two days FOR NOTHING, and frankly, it was a nightmare being out of touch with all my imaginary friends so long. Don't let him get a blog.

  15. Oh yeah, the tax credit. Good for you! My honey decided to let me bear the brunt of religious upbringing, until I pointed out HOW SUCKY it is to be a single mom at the one place that is totally family-oriented. He gives me most Sundays now, good man.

    The same honey also derides my cyberspace friends. So I sign off as your Imaginary friend, Green Girl;)

  16. Ok I'm really impressed that you've already filed taxes AND lost weight! Super Mom, you. Don't mind if I secretly hate you.
    And I'm cracking up at the chastity belts.