Look, We Tried

Take your kids camping, they said. Give them great family memories, they said.

I'll have you know that Susie and I were in Michael's the other day, browsing through the tchotchkes for sale, and she burst out laughing when she saw this:

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"That's RIDICULOUS!" she said, pointing at the front of the box.

"What?"

"They're sitting around looking so HAPPY. We don't do that when WE'RE camping!"


Sigh. Out of the mouths of babes, people...out of the mouths of babes...

Rejection

I bought baking soda at Aldi's yesterday. (OMG, am I mentioning Aldi's again? What has my life turned into?) The box was not - repeat, NOT - easy to open.

I won, but it was a struggle.

Which experience left me with "My heart bleeds for the Snicker Snack company" running through my head the rest of the day. Anyone else even know what I'm talking about here?

I didn't think so.

I also learned yesterday that the editing job I was hoping to get is not, after all this time, going to be mine. This information has precipitated a mid-life (well, slightly past mid-life, really, because there's no way I'm going to make it to 110 years old) crisis of tsunami proportions. Seriously, I realized I will probably never get a job in my field again. Maybe not any sort of a real job ever - real, as in I'd have an office to go to and colleagues and, uh, whatever else you get with a real job. Oh, yes, a paycheck! That would have been nice, too.

Right after I found this out, I had to take Rachel to ChikFilA to follow through on her own job application, but they told her that they only needed people who could work between the hours of 5 AM and 4 PM. While she stood there disappointed, I briefly thought, "I could do that! I like waffle fries!"

But I don't want to. Especially after hearing the shift supervisor call the woman cashier "Sweetie." We almost had an incident there, is what I'm saying...

So I've enrolled in a summer-semester accounting course at the local community college, thinking maybe some desperate CPA might at least hire me for the busy season of January through April. Who knows? At least it will feel as though I'm doing something. My brain can't live on Internet fodder alone, you know. I can almost feel it atrophying away as I scroll through Facebook and Twitter each evening. And morning. And, okay, mid-afternoon, too.

Yeah, I have an Internet problem here. I admit it. That's the first step, right?

Bits And Bobs

I let a whole week go by without blogging, and if I don't just dump a few things out here, I'll never be able to resume. Let's go!

My new favorite Aldi find:

Only 5 dollars! Plus 72 cents for the sheep...

This replaced the metal colander I picked up off the trash pile several years ago. Considering that that particular find never drained water correctly (I know! It had ONE JOB!) and was also missing a handle, this new red beauty is very welcome in our household. Bienvenue! Wilkommen!


Last week, as mentioned previously, I helped serve dinner to the high school Theater Arts students during Tech Week. (Rachel's in the play as a townsperson. This is a step up from last year, when she was a dancing spoon.) I also signed up to contribute fresh fruit, because I'm a team player like that.

So! I don't know what came over me the second day, but it probably had something to do with the 99-cent cantaloupes at Harris Teeter plus the presence in my breadbox/junk repository of approximately 50 wooden kabob sticks. These sticks must have been waiting at least 10 years to fulfill their destiny. Whatever the inspiration, I ended up putting poor Susie to work, shish-ka-bobbing melon pieces and grapes to feed the Theater Arts kids with.

We're culinary artists, Susie and I

They were a hit, and no one got it in the eye, either. But I'm never doing this again - way too much work. Those kids can just eat grapes off the vine, the way God intended.

Let's see, what else? Tulips are in bloom!

It's a relief to see, as they are about 3 weeks late this year. It's been a cold, cold spring and now it's going to be close to 90 degrees later this week. Mother Nature is a fickle creature.

And there was a new sheep tableau in Susie's room the other night:

Training for Cirque du Soleil, I guess

It's scary how adorable these creatures are. Sometimes I just sit on the couch and hold one. True story.

Foreshadowing

Okay, here's the latest exhibit in my The World's Going to Heck in a Handbasket display:

First they came for my pizza, and I said nothing...

I mean, what gives? Are people bored with normal chocolate? Were Kisses with almonds, Kisses with caramel, Kisses with cherry liqueur for heaven's sake NOT ENOUGH?

Mark my words, we're in the middle of a stealth pineapple takeover. WAKE UP, before it's too late.

In other news, Susie's full-length mirror fell and broke today. You know, the mirror I bought several months ago at Target (on sale!) and that I propped against her wall rather than securely attaching it to the back of her bedroom door? Yeah, that one. I was waiting for our handyman to pop by (which he does when work is slow, because he knows there is ALWAYS something for him to do around here in this money pit we call home) and do it for me, but he never turned up.

And, yes, I know I should be able to hang up a lightweight mirror all by myself, but I prefer to leave that sort of work for the professionals.

Anyway, the mirror fell and broke and I'm thinking that, just on the verge of my BABY turning 13, we have to get an unmistakable omen of 7 years bad luck. We've been down this teen girl road before, you know; we're not rookies. Still, I'd rather keep my head stuck in the sand a little longer, all right?

We're in the middle of "Tech Week" here, which is Theater Arts code for "your kid has to stay after school every day until 9 PM." The show is this weekend (watch for me to do my amazing trick of breaking the popcorn machine at the concession stand again!), so the cast is in full rehearsal mode. I actually signed up to help serve the kids dinner, which certainly makes it look as though I'm a supportive theater parent; but, really, the whole time I'm dishing out baked ziti, I'm hoping Rachel doesn't have time for Theater Arts in her school schedule next year.

I'm not a team player, I guess. Also, I really do fear popcorn duty. Pray for me.

Fame (No Fortune, Though)

Okay, the other day I tried to read some blog comments on my phone. Usually I just look at my blog on my desktop computer; so I never realized that the type size is REALLY TINY on the mobile app version of this here literary masterpiece.

So I figured out how to go into the inner workings of the blog and change the pixel size or whatever (hey, that's nothing to sneeze at - I had to click "advanced settings" to do it, all the time feeling pretty tech savvy, I'll admit). So if one of you could tell me if that helped at all, that would be good. I honestly can't tell. I mean, I THINK it's a little easier to read on the phone now, but I'm not sure.

You know, when I was growing up, no one could read anything on their phone.

A commenter on the last post (knittergran) asked for details about that narrow blue house I took a photo of. It's called The Spite House, which was featured in the NYT in 2008. I didn't realize until I read the article (click on that link, will you?) that the interior walls of the house are actually the exterior walls of the two neighboring houses. Fun fact! The article doesn't give us near enough interior pictures, IMO, so if anyone can find more...

Let's see, what else is going on here? Spring, for one:

My photography skills are really taking off, I'd say. I mean, bird's-eye-view and everything...

Oh, and speaking of photos, on Friday Brian and a friend participated in the students' walkout and march in DC. They both ended up in a CNN photo of the event, and we were all like, "Oh, look, you're over to the side there in this news photo. That's sorta cool." But a few minutes later I noticed this article and I was screaming, "BRIAN, OMG, LOOK, YOU'RE IN THE ONION."

I have really screwed-up priorities, I'm thinking. I mean, I didn't yell like that when he got into college, even. But, hey, THE ONION...

In other news, Susie has bonded with our newly acquired flock of sheep. Unfortunately, her affection for these ovine creatures means that she became upset when she caught me trying to sneak two of them out of the house. (I had promised them to my knitting friends.) So, yeah, not sure what to do about that...

Anyway, I will leave you with a picture of the tableau I discovered in her room yesterday:

Dang, they're cute, aren't they?