Thursday, July 17, 2008

Beach Joys

Whew! Okay, missed a day. You see, being sick and all, I decided we didn't have anything better to do than go ahead with our plans to make a day trip to the beach, 3 hours away. I felt like hell and probably would have rescheduled; but Larry had hemmed and hawed about being able to take a day off next week instead, so I said, "Fine. We'll stick to this week. Who cares if it kills me?" Because no one can be passive-aggressive like a Jewish wife/mother...

Anna opted, once again, to stay home and hang with her best friend's family for the day. We wasted no energy cajoling her to join us, as her staying home meant we wouldn't have to take 2 cars and thereby saved us about 60 dollars in gas money. Sometimes an alienated teen can be a useful thing to have. Also, her staying home meant that she wasn't sitting with us all day, dementor-like, sucking away any enjoyment we might be deriving from watching the younger ones frolic in the sand and surf.

Not that that bothers me, or anything...

So we packed up the 2 boogie boards, and the cooler full of food, and the 2 cute little beach chairs I got for the girls for only 5 dollars each; and we didn't pack the beach umbrella, which had mysteriously disappeared since last year, and we set off in search of some summer fun. I knitted all the way there, which was nice, even if I did have a sore throat, and laryngitis, and was sleep-deprived because either Susie or I kept waking up coughing for the previous 2 nights. But no problem, really.

We even remembered to bring Larry's new kite. I've mentioned before how flying kites isn't Larry's strong suit, but how he nevertheless persists in his dream of finally getting one of these contraptions aloft. As I am the sort of wife that believes in encouraging her husband in his aspirations, I gave him a real kite (as in, it cost more than 3 dollars and didn't come from Target) for Father's Day. He and the kids were sure that this would finally be the day that they would enjoy the family-bonding experience of kite-flying at the beach.

You know I'm giving it this build-up for a reason, right?

According to the company we bought the kite from, the kite we purchased is perfect for beginners and foolproof to fly. Foolproof, my a**. You'd think the thing was made of lead, the way it insisted on hugging the ground.

So now I hate the kite people for lying to me. You would, too, if you had to stand there for half an hour watching your 11-year-old son attempt to make this thing take the air; and then watch him cry when he couldn't do it. I made elaborate plans to return the purported flying apparatus with an irate note for the prevaricators in the catalog-writing department; but then Larry effectively put the kibosh on that idea by accidentally breaking the kite while packing up the van later.

As far as flying kites goes, my spouse is still the Charlie Browniest.

Other than the kite-flying debacle, however, the day was great. We took a zillion pictures, Susie looked extremely cute napping in her new little chair, and I was happy not to be home feeling as though I should be cleaning something. I would say the beach was wall-to-wall people, only beaches don't have walls. Let's just say it was super crowded with great masses of humanity; and I can't help feeling that, after spending a day observing these great masses, there should be some sort of rules on just who, exactly, is allowed to wear a bikini.

We stopped at Burger King for dinner on the way back, just to make our beach vacation complete. And then I came home to lots of comments on my post about business executives feeling the pinch. Maybe I should send in some low-cost vacation ideas to the WSJ. Do you think their readers know to order from the Dollar Menu?


  1. The boys and I spent more than five hours at the beach today (of course, we only have a ten-minute drive each way). Did you have rough surf? We did, courtesy of Bertha, who is nowhere near here. Pretty neat, as long as you avoided the riptides.

  2. The beach sounds like heaven right now. Not that there's anything wrong with the desert. Not a single thing. (Except, you know, the scorpions)

    I can assure you that I will never wear a bikini on any beach ever. It just wouldn't be kind of me to ruin everyone's beach day.

    Hope you're feeling better.

  3. So, being sick like this, are you pregnant? I know, it's such a guy thing to say! I love to read your posts.
    Bonnie's Brother Ben

  4. It's too bad about your no photos rule--maybe you could draw us a picture a la June Cleaver Nirvana!

  5. glad you had such a nice time!

  6. The number of kites that cannot fly is shockingly large. Or maybe it's just all the kites I ever get ...

  7. Flying a kite is like nursing . . . they look easy, but really aren't.

    You should come to one of the beaches in our area . . . not a soul around.

    Hope you feel better!

  8. "Because no one can be passive-aggressive like a Jewish wife/mother"... want a bet?

    Or maybe I should convert?

    Glad you had beach fun

  9. I laughed about the knitting on the way to the beach part - it's the only reason I agree to this weekly nonsense: uninterrupted knitting time!

  10. Okay, to compare a teenager to a dementor is genius.

    I'm so sorry about the kite. We have similar problems. I don't get it. I'm no physicist, but geez! They OUGHT to work under windy conditions!

  11. A beach? Like the ocean? If so, I am endlessly jealous. I love the ocean. Otherwise, I can go "enjoy" the beach at the great salt lake. Along with the brine flies, and the smell...ahem.

  12. We don't have a beach around here, but we did take our kids to an amusement park last week, and I was quite sick myself (Maybe I caught this from you? I think there's some virus going through the internet. Have you been coughing on your keyboard?)
    Walking around the park while I was running a fever with the outside temperature being around 98 degrees. And then I was dumb enough to go on the wild coasters, which caused me to get a headache, as if it didn't hurt enough already from all the sinus pressure.
    It's amazing the things we will go through so our kids can have fun.
    We really are good parents, aren't we ;0)

    We gave up on kites years ago.

  13. I'm a car knitter too, and my husband has bought approx. 347 kites in his quest to get one that actually flies.

    My daughter is a surly pre-teen however.

    I feel like we could do coffee together and get along great.

  14. We're headed to the beach in a few weeks as well. It'll be the very first time the younger two have ever seen anything larger than the local state park's man-made lake with imported sand so it should be interesting. Plus we're staying with friends who have 5 kids, so that should be interesting as well.

    We're not taking kites though. Maybe we should invest quick.

  15. Jewish wife supportive of her husband's hobby? Something doesn't add up...

  16. I like the idea of drawings...maybe you could have the kids do them???
    I grew up at the beach, and never had much luck with kites of any kind. I'd still write the letter.
    Hope you're feeling better.
    Pax, E

  17. OMG! Your one-liners in between paragraphs are killing me! Killing me with tears o'laughter.

  18. We just love the beach!! It is so refreshing!

    Any rip tides??

    You can keep Burger King though!

  19. You've made me feel brilliant twice in one day - I know the rules about who is and who is not allowed to wear a bikini in public and I have never crossed that line. Your eyes should be grateful!

  20. Dementor-like. You captured it perfectly! Only for me, it's when we take (force) Shortman to go anywhere with us.

  21. We bought a few nylon kites from Costco 3 years ago. They were really neat. One was a pirate ship and one was an dragon. They flew fairly well until someone broke some of the plastic stick like pieces that are inserted to assemble them fully...

  22. I have 6 kids of my own too! And now I am about to be stepmom of 3 more (hence "wehave9")! Love your blog!



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