Trying to lose a few pounds? Having trouble limiting your food intake? Just take a gander at this handy little article, and you should be reclaiming your girlish figure in no time! I'm not sure which parts of it are most helpful to me: is it the thought of rodent hairs in my cinnamon that suppresses my appetite, or the idea of plant lice [picture at right] in my beer? Oh, wait - I don't drink beer. So maybe it's the maggots that are allowed to be in my tomato paste that do the trick. Who knows?
I'm just glad there was nothing about Trefoils in there.