Monday, February 09, 2009

Blog Post Titles Are So Yesterday

I keep reading this article over and over, because I don't understand it. It seems to be saying people are attracted to the smell emanating from a french fry shop because the fries smell like cocoa and ironing boards (?!) and onions. Silly me - here I thought it was because it smells like french fries.

I can't help but think this is yet another instance of overeducation making people stupid.


I made a mistake yesterday and no one caught me. It occurred to me this morning that I have seen a movie more recently than 2 years ago - I took my daughter to see Juno last January. Of course, I ended up regretting it.


Can you imagine? Kindle 2 is out, and Amazon hasn't sent me one yet to review. Must be an oversight on their part...

Aaack - and now I have a disembodied hand floating on my post...


We have a neighbor who just moved in last summer (i.e., she doesn't know us that well yet). She has 2 adorable little girls (ages 4 and 2) who possess more dress-up clothes than you can imagine. The first time Rachel went to their house to play, she thought she was in heaven.

Anyway, this neighbor mentioned today that the girls had been sick with a stomach flu the past week. "We never had that before, " she said. "Has that ever happened to you?"

I was speechless. I mean, where to start? Should I tell her about the bunkbeds? How about the scrambled eggs at the science museum? Or maybe I should regale her with tales of that winter when the CDC was getting ready to slap quarantine signs on our front door?

I've had 6 kids over 17 years, and she asks, "Has that ever happened to you?" How has she managed to live in a vomit-free Shangri-la the past 4 years? For us, stomach flu has always been the norm, not the exception. I still remember our first time, me 8 months pregnant with our second many special memories of stripping beds in the middle of the night, piles of vomit-soaked laundry piled up in front of the washer, glasses of flat ginger ale all around...

A girl could get downright nostalgic.

"Has that ever happened to you?" You know, there's a reason our pantry is always stocked with saltines and pretzels. There's a reason I keep an empty dishpan at the bottom of the linen closet, strategically located close to the kids' bedrooms. Is my neighbor telling me that not all families operate this way? Is there, in fact, another way to live?

Why didn't somebody let me know?


Mrs G is a bit delayed with the launch of The Women's Colony; but never fear, it will happen. And it will be worth the wait.


  1. Never had the stomach flu? We need to get some blood samples and send them of to the CDC so they can figure out a vaccine.

  2. Must. Have. Fries. Those fries look soooooo good.I can almost smell them now. Waaaaahahah! No, fries:,(

  3. "Has that ever happened to you?"---ahahhahahawhwhwhhahhahhasnoort!!!


    okay, here's a little bone for ya...

    I am a Clinical Vomitologist---just thought you'd want to know...


  4. Doesn't BBC stand for British Bullshit Conglomeration?
    I hate vomit. I trained my children not to vomit unless Daddy is home. I cannot see, smell or hear it, even your post made me wretch a little.
    When my husband had knee surgery, he got sick from the anesthesia and came home to throw up for the next 3 days, crouched over the toilet on his poor bandaged cartilage-free knee, begging for me to wipe his brow. Where was I? Hiding in the garage with my ears plugged and Vicks in my nose (blocks the smell)

  5. Oh, mine are the Yoda Jedi Masters (Octamom)

  6. Please oh please did you tell her "Not only has it happened, it was in animated technicolor!" ??? Because that would SOOO be my response.

    Oddly enough, talk of vomit does not diminish my cravings for food in general....actually seeing vomit might do the trick.

  7. Good grief...LOL...never had the stomach flu...

  8. So, what did you tell her?

  9. i was watching jon and kate plus 8 last night and thought of you . . . it was the flu/vomit episode.

    i have to say, though, it was pretty funny.

  10. A wide-eyed innocent look accompanied by stomach "what" would have really thrown her.

    The day after I brought home baby #4, my husband went to work as usual. I was by myself with 4 kids under 5. Who all (but the baby) had stomach flu. I spent the next few days cleaning up messes from both ends of the kids and wound up catching it myself. Fun times!

  11. I am speechless. "Has this ever happened to you?" whaaaa????????
    Did she just get these kids last week....are they really hers...has she had them from day one?

  12. The first time I clicked on the french fry/ironing board article I was confused...which I chalked up to sleep deprivation. I tried again this morning, granted only slightly less sleep deprived, and I can still relate far better to the vomit.

  13. "So, what did you tell her?"

    Yeah, I am curious. What did you tell her?

  14. Overall, we've been pretty lucky with the vomit, knock on wood. Not as lucky as your neighbor, though. And there's just something so special about cleaning up vomit whilst pregnant, isn't there? I still haven't quite recovered from that. Six weeks pregnant and warding off the stomach flu by the sheer force of my mind. Sometimes I wonder what I could accomplish with my mind if I didn't use so much of its energy warding off various ailments.

  15. "How has she managed to live in a vomit-free Shangri-la the past 4 years?"

    You never fail to crack me up!

  16. My daughter is currently on her seventh year of no vomiting. She's going for a family record!

  17. Oh my gosh! I'm like WHOO HOOO!!!!!! Puke free for six solid weeks.

    Never to have the stomach flu. I feel bad for her to miss out on that joy of motherhood.

  18. Oh man, I always hear "studies" and think "what a waste of perfectly good manpower and money. I could've told them that for FREE!"
    I hope you didn't tell that mom EVERYTHING and scare her!

  19. hey, have you seen this?

    i dont know about YOU, but my bizarre reason is because i am certifiable. oh, that -- and the joy of stomach flu and trying to figure out which kid's puke bucket you hold first....


  20. Oh, to be as naive about vomit as your neighbor!

  21. Mine have always been considerate enough to vomit in sequence. No one new is allowed to start vomiting until the previous one has finished. Usually by the time it gets through both kids and The Husband and it's my turn, the novelty has worn off, and I don't bother.

    They even take turns throwing up on each leg of a trip -- The Boy throws up on the way to Grandmas, and The Girl throws up on the way home. Or vice versa.

    I don't know how I got so lucky, but I don't let God forget. ;)

  22. I am speechless.

    (And I'd ask you to pass the fries, but my stomach doesn't feel very good after reading this post.)

  23. Has that ever happened to you?

    From what planet did these people invade our earth?

  24. What a silly woman! Throw up and kids go together like pb&j.
    Did you have a hard time not laughing out loud in her face?

  25. new here..

    Omgoodness.. You are a hoot.
    ummm...was she for real? Are you sure those are her children? Might want to call the authorities just in case.. I'm just sayin. something smells funny here.. ;)

    Thanks for the laughs!