Thursday, February 05, 2009

Miscellaneous Doesn't Begin To Describe It

Would you believe? I worked last night and I didn't get a single chance to use my joke. How unfair is that?

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20 people arriving in half an hour....maybe I should get ready? Clean up from lunch, at least?

Naaah. The blogosphere needs me.

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Theo continues to know everything. He doesn't need our advice for college scholarship interviews, he'll "think of something." How reassuring. Doesn't he realize I plan to rent out his basement suite as soon as he heads off to school? Kids these days....selfish....

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Brian has the worst case of clown mouth I have ever seen (for the non-parents among you, that's when a kid's face all around his lips gets red and chapped). I've been smearing it with Carmex 2-3 times a day, and he still looks like a leper. I have no idea what else to do, aside from waiting until spring for it to clear up. Or letting him join a circus...

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Rachel can read. Well, let me correct that - she can't read an age-appropriate book when I ask her to, but she can stand behind me as I type at the computer and recite what I am writing. All of it. Which explains why I am finding it harder to find (a safe) time to blog these days.

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Larry is leaving me on Saturday to spend the day with other Scouting dads. I think he's still miffed about the IKEA trip last weekend. But I'll show him - while he's gone I'll clean out his sock drawer and steal all the change.

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Hmmm....only 15 minutes left until company arrives...I do like a challenge...



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29 comments:

  1. Try pure shea butter on the mouth. I'v found that it works way better than carmex (which must be made with crack because it's so scarily addictive.)

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  2. Since my kids were born, I was told to try using "Bag Balm" antiseptic. It's a yellow, greasy ointment but worked great for sore baby bottoms and now works good for sore noses when it's cold season. It was originally used by vets for cows (I know, euu) -- but it does work and was much cheaper than baby ointment.

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  3. miscellaneous comments:

    i think it's divine prividence that you did not get to use your joke;

    i have never heard it called "clown mouth" before . . . you live and learn

    selective reading/selective hearing . . . comes from the same place

    don't forget the couch cushions

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  4. I love that your six year old reads over your shoulder!!! My children are absolutely fascinated with what I may be reading or writing when at the computer, this particularly applies to my email. To illustrate my point, my 11 year old just appeared over my shoulder to say, "no we aren't, you're not going to send that are you?"

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  5. Hey, it's not really company if your kids aren't letting them in the front door while you're frantically throwing toys, books, and dishes into anything that has a door to close over it.

    Many a guest has heard the oven door slam and mistakenly anticipated lovingly baked treats. Get real, that's where I keep the dirty dishes!

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  6. Sounds like you're having a good time. Don't you just hate it when school teaches those darn kids to read. Geez, what were they thinking. ;)

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  7. That's almost as miscellaneous as my posts. Good luck with the visitors. If you're really sharp, you'll get everything cleaned up (hidden) and be back to answer comments before the bell rings.

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  8. I never worry until about 5 minutes before they appear (the company/people) Then just spray something nice smelling in your house --or pinesole something and they think you've been really working hard to "get things ready" for their arrival.

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  9. Maybe you could get a post out of cleaning out Larry's sock drawer. It would only be fair - he took away your "As the food turns" post, you substitute it with "As the socks turn" or something like this. Yeah, blogo-poetic justice.

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  10. You sound as random as we are.

    15 minutes before company- you're doing great, slow down and relax.

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  11. I don't have clown mouth but my lips were getting pretty chapped last week so I put some Lansinoh nipple cream on them and they healed right up!

    I think Carmex and Chapstick are addictive and have never worked for me. But the nipple cream on my lips - worked like a charm!

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  12. I had clown mouth once--it turns out I was allergic to the lip balm I was using. You might try switching to something like Burt's Bees.

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  13. So many ideas, so little time...

    Why don't you have the guests clean your house while you keep blogging?

    I, too, am making plans for Jenn's bedroom. WHEN is that girl going to finish her college apps and give me an estimated time of departure?

    My husband would go nuts if I rummaged in his sock drawer. He arranges them by color and purpose. Really.

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  14. This is a great one! I'm glad to hear Theo isn't a perfect teen. I thought you might have Duggarized him because I haven't read many posts about his shenanigans.

    I haven't heard "clown mouth" before and I'm so glad you taught it to me now, when I have years of clown mouth ahead of me. I use Aquaphor cream (glorified Vaseline) on it. It doesn't sting or smell so my kids don't resist, and it clears up chapping very quickly.

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  15. Does he leave the sock drawer open and you can't stand the look of it?

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  16. Well if the boy would stop sticking his face into the sugar bowl and licking the sugar off his mouth, he wouldn't get the clown mouth problem. One day switch salt for the sugar just to see what happens.

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  17. I didn't get an invite to lunch??

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  18. Leave it to your comments to educate me about nipple cream. Who knew there was nipple cream? Not me. I don't think they had that back when I used my nipples.

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  19. Enjoy your company. Now go get ready!

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  20. I second the Bag Balm! It has always worked better than anything else I've tried. Just put it on his lips before he goes to sleep so it will have a chance to do it's magic.

    I've even used it on my hands. I'll put it on right before bed and put socks over my hands to protect my bedding. In the morning, super-soft hands :)

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  21. 15 minutes? That's my kinda cleaning! Although I hope you got better results than I usually do.

    I have used pure lanolin nipple balm for a little clown-faced boy. Seemed to work well but no way on earth was I telling him what it's intended use was! Also anything high in vitamin A will help - Lucas Pawpaw Ointment is great but I think it's hard to get outside of Australia, it heals ANYTHING!

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  22. Epaderm for the chapped skin - it is very oily, but works brilliantly, and is very gentle.


    .....while the cats away.....go visit ikea again!

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  23. "Clown mouth?"

    I've never heard that term before, but from now on it will be used around here.
    I will agree with everyone else who suggested the nipple cream. Max has been having a serious case of clown mouth lately, and I put some Lansinoh on him before he went to bed one night, and by morning it was better.

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  24. Cleaning only happens in our house when there's pressure...

    Clearly, reading your blog that you don't want her to read is MUCH more interesting than those boring books from school.

    Clown mouth is tough - although my boy responds to moisturizing Chapstick.

    Change that is not in someone's wallet/pocket is fair game, right?

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  25. Bag Balm on your mouth also works as a diet aid....it smells so Gawd Awful...you won't be hungry.

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  26. LOL...loved the clown mouth...it's running rampant around here

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  27. I have already used your joke 2 times and my husband would flip if I stole his change. So that is exactly what I am going to do!

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  28. Clown mouth! YES! That's exactly what it is! My son has it, too. I've just never been able to put a name to what he's got going on. Thanks for clearing that up. Plus, my baby has clown cheeks. Freakin' winter sucking all the damn moisture out of the air!

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  29. So tell me...why do so many clown mouth children come to school without chapstick?
    I have one in every class, and I ask- do you want to get some chapstick from your locker?
    Not once has anyone had any.
    These are middle schoolers.
    Wouldn't you think?

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