Friday, September 30, 2011

7 Quick Takes: Morbidity Edition



--- 1 ---

I threw caution to the wind 2 days ago and ate some canteloupe. "What the heck!" reasoned my normally cautious (read “phobic”) self. I mean, the fruit wasn’t from Colorado or anything. But, judging from how I felt yesterday evening, we should avoid the melons from California, also. Anyone want the one left in my fridge?

On the bright side, I can snap my jeans shut now. Who needs Weight Watchers when you can have listeria instead?

--- 2 ---

Actually, after gnawing on half a toasted bagel this morning, I still feel sick.  It occurs to me that, if I up and die, this blog will be the only extant record of my thoughts and feelings, the only indicator that I once walked through and communed via the Internet.  Maybe excerpts should be read at my funeral.  Feel free to suggest which posts would be most suitable.

--- 3 ---

My dad and brother are visiting from NJ and brought bagels from that hallowed place.  If a bagel did have to be my last meal, I'm glad it was a decent NY-type of comestible and not that Einstein Bros garbage we're forced to eat  in this godforsaken part of the country with its poison canteloupe.

--- 4 ---

Is death funny?  Discuss.

--- 5 ---
Whose 14-year-old technical assistant taught her how to use Microsoft Paint to make a slashy-sign thingie?  Who's not very good at it yet?  And who prides herself on knowing the all-important difference between whose and who's?


--- 6 ---

Hint: The answers to #5?  They are all the same.

--- 7 ---

Vote for me.  You have to, because it may be my dying wish.

Jennifer would never joke about death.  For morbidity-free Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!


[cantaloupe image: HealBlog.net]

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12 comments:

  1. I have a cantaloupe sitting in my fridge too, taunting me. I can't throw it out until it starts to grow some grey, fuzzy stuff and actually LOOKS like a listeria breeding ground.

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  2. #4: Have you heard of the Darwin Awards?

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  3. Jennifer would never joke about death.

    Ha, ha! Funny you say that, because just a couple of hours ago I texted a friend to let her know that our rapidly-spiraling-out-of-control park playdate was going to kill me, and I wanted it known that I want Tupac played at my funeral.

    Glad you got the image centered! Sorry I couldn't have been more help. No idea what was going on there.

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  4. So close! You're in the top 11 (if there is such a thing).

    I've been avoiding buying cantaloupe, and I think you just reinforced that...

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  5. oh the melons...reminds me of the bacteria scare we had in europe a few months ago (ok, it may have been in spring...can't remember).
    eventually it was concluded that cucumbers and tomatos were safe but i still had a very upset tummy every time i ate them.

    on the whose and who's - i'm a non-native speaker so i drool over how native speakers use these and similar words interchangeably (think your vs you're and their vs they're vs there)
    congrats on knowing which one to use in what context!!

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  6. My husband keeps buying cantaloupe because he doesn't watch the news. Or maybe because it is grown locally. Maybe you should come visit me? Assuming we're both still alive, that is...
    Will you bring real bagels?

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  7. I had no idea about cantaloupe. I can't stand the stuff, but the kids love it, so I give it to them. Is it just cantaloupe? How about honey dew? Is that safe? Geez, aren't you glad you're not pregnant? It was exhausting, worrying about stuff like listeria while pregnant.

    We used to get the best bagels from a Jewish bakery in Providence. It's closed now, and we're stuck with the gluten-free kind anyway. I don't eat them. I'd rather have no bagel at all.

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  8. Hi! My name is Anne and I just found you on Circle of Moms. I'm on it too but not sure if I'll make it the last few notches to top 25. Anyway, I also have 6 kids and 1 husband, so I'm just about as boring as you. I really like your blog and look forward to coming back to explore. Pop on over to say hi sometime! I'm at http://bringingboryahome.blogspot.com. Have a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi! My name is Anne and I just found you on Circle of Moms. I'm on it too but not sure if I'll make it the last few notches to top 25. Anyway, I also have 6 kids and 1 husband, so I'm just about as boring as you. I really like your blog and look forward to coming back to explore. Pop on over to say hi sometime! I'm at http://bringingboryahome.blogspot.com. Have a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sorry, I'm out here on the western edges of civilization with you and I'm so jealous of the NYC bagels that I've forgotten my concern for your imminent death. When you feel better, eat one for me.

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  11. I hope you're still alive to read that I think this is a very funny post. :)

    ReplyDelete

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