Friday, January 04, 2013

Anniversary Intrigue

Just a quick note to inform concerned reader(s) that I made a miraculous recovery by Tuesday morning, enabling me to boss the kids around for 4 hours straight in order to make the house presentable for guests by early afternoon.  We had lots of people over, who ate not nearly enough food and chocolate, leaving me the arduous task of picking up the slack for the past couple of days.  Their collective appetite may have been dampened, of course, by the sight of Susie vomiting all over the vegetable-and-dip tray, maybe 20 minutes after the start of the festivities.  That's right - my daughter, who had given not one hint of feeling ill all morning, waited until there were upwards of 30 people in our house to spew forth a veritable geyser of regurgitated party food. 

This is the "before" picture.

Despite my long and varied experience with puking children, I panicked.  Larry, coming to the rescue like the experienced vomit SWAT team member that he is, grabbed her (as she threw up yet again) and ran upstairs, leaving me to throw an entire roll of paper towels over the mess while babbling, "Oh, she's not sick!  Not at all!  Here, have some potato chips!"

I cannot believe anyone stuck around.  But they did.  They just didn't eat much.  The alcohol went fairly quickly, though.

I spent most of yesterday trying to figure out whether or not Larry had remembered it was our anniversary.  He was doing the same.  It was like a bad I Love Lucy episode, only less funny.

I know, none of that makes sense.  But it's a tradition of ours.  Larry did take the day off, which he says should have made me realize that he KNEW it was our anniversary.  But last week he told me he was taking some days off to burn some leave.  So I don't believe him.  And he did suggest we go out to lunch, but he used a gift certificate I gave him for Christmas.  Again, not very anniversary-ish.

To make up for all the confusion, he bought me some almond Hershey kisses that were 50% off at CVS.  Because I NEEDED to eat more chocolate.  These pounds aren't going to add on all by themselves, you know.

Anywhoo, I have exciting things planned for this year.  I just ordered Suzy Soro's Celebrity sTalker and Ira Glass's The New Kings of Non-Fiction.  Once I read them, I'll be giving each of them away to one (well, two) lucky reader(s).  More books will follow, because I need to read more, people - my brain cells are evaporating rapidly.  Also, more knitting posts, for those of you who care - and updates from my continuing "Couch to Standing Up" exercise program.

Throw in some Downton Abbey musings and a dash of political commentary, and you've got a pretty good picture of what I'm planning for 2013.  But, of course, we all know what happens to the best-laid plans...

What the heck happened to 2012, anyway?

[veggie tray image: Eby's General Store]









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8 comments:

  1. If I could teach my daughter to hurl on command I might actually lose my appetite and some weight. But that would conflict with one of my New Year's Resolutions: make it through 2013 without having to clean up someone else's vomit.

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  2. Vomit SWAT team--you and Larry are a match made in heaven.
    Happy Anniversary!
    And thanks for the morning chuckle.

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  3. Isn't it nice to have a husband who can handle puking kids? Dibs on the Ira Glass book. (That's how it works, right?)

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  4. My generally queasy stomach of late would not have held up to Susie's contribution to the party. Nice of Larry to jump in like that...probably from all the experience, a gut reaction.

    I hear you on the reading. I have not been able to wrap my mind around reading anything on my Kindle...and I took great advantage of Amazon's one click system to order several books. I don't even dare open their emails anymore, lest I get snagged into "just one more."

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  5. We have tag-team vomit cleanup, too! I have the kid part, and The Husband has the location damage and laundry start-up.

    Glad to hear you pulled it off and (hopefully) she hasn't kept up the puking. :)

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  6. I'm one of those people who starts to gag when others puke. I do believe it's the sole reason I decided not to have children. Ok, maybe one or two more reasons (apparently you need money to raise them) but the puking thing, RIGHT UP THERE!

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  7. Oh man. That's classic lol. One year on Easter my son ate so many oreo's and crap before anyone got there he spent the entire time being green and freaking everyone out!

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  8. Tag-team parenting at its best! I am tremendously grateful that you only used the "before" graphic.

    You & Larry do anniversaries as well as SuperDad and I do anniversaries.

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