Saturday, April 05, 2008

Much About Mulch

This morning, Larry took the 4 oldest to assist at David's Boy Scout troop mulch sale. Anna, of course, was very excited about helping a bunch of creatures she considers to be the most disgusting beings in the known universe. And getting up at 6:30 in the morning? That was just the icing on the cake.

This happens to be the second mulch sale we've been conscripted to participate in this year. Apparently, mulch is a very popular item in inner suburbia; and I, for one, am glad, because the dads tend not to become involved when the kids are selling such namby-pamby items such as gift wrap or frozen cookie dough. Rent a few forklifts to move several tons of landscaping material, however, and you've got the menfolk swarming like bees around a honeypot.

I guess the gift wrap was just too emasculating.

So all you Girl Scout moms who are sick of running the cookie drive year after year after year? Get that monkey off your back by having your little green-skirted darlings sell something more manly - like, landscaping materials, say, or huge barbecue grills, or maybe even huge 4-wheel-drive trucks. The guys would be all over that. And we womenfolk wouldn't be stuffing our mouths with those blasted Thin Mints and Trefoils and blowing our diets all to heck.

Anyway, Larry left me alone with just the 2 little girls this morning, one of whom let me take a shower in blessed solitude while she looked out the window and said cute little things like, "Hi, birdies! Tweet, tweet!" (Really.) It's times like these that I enjoy having tiny little girls running around the house. Of course, they do grow up into great big girls that don't sound quite as cute (particularly when they are snarling in a most unbecoming manner at their little brothers); but I just try to take the good with the bad. We live in a fallen world, after all.

After my shower, and after picking out pretty outfits for everyone, and braiding some hair with some pretty hair ribbons, we took a leisurely walk to buy some bagels for breakfast; after that we sauntered over to the book store where my sweeties forced me (nicely) to read several Berenstain Bears books to them. I think there must be a special circle in hell where there is nothing to read but these particular books. And I really hope I do not end up there because, let's face it, I've suffered enough already.

I would have bought the Yarn Harlot's new book with my educator's discount card, but I couldn't think how to convince whatever nitpicker was at the cash register that a knitting humor book is essential to my children's academic studies this spring. [Larry just read this post and exclaimed, "Home Ec, of course!"] Nevertheless, my morning was quite pleasant, walking to the stores in the chilly spring morning and spending quality time with my 2 precious little girls. Rachel even rode her bike.

So now that we are home, you would think that all that mommy time and all those bagels and all those darn Berenstain Bears books would have translated into their leaving me alone for a bit, wouldn't you? But, as I type, Susie is lying on the floor underneath my chair, squeaking incessantly. Rachel keeps falling over and injuring herself, and I swear it's on purpose. I've tried bribing them with cookies, but it didn't work. And, really, I'm done being a nice mommy for now - I've been doing it all week.

Why am I working a job where I don't even get Saturdays off? Someone remind me...


  1. Hope they sell a ton of mulch! We bought some last week along with a our weight in girl scout cookies. ha


  2. 'Cause it's the best unpaid job in the world!

  3. It's so tempting to say that it will all go by so quickly and you'll pine for those days...

    but seriously?

    Can't a mom get a break some times? ;)

  4. You are working that job so that you can blog about it and entertain the masses. And, by the way, thank you. It helps me get through my job and it's 24-hr shifts, 7 days a week.

    I have found that when I announce, in a rather high-pitched, sreechy kind of voice that mommy needs a time out, the kids usually leave me alone. Then they have the courtesy to give me side-long glances and tiptoe around for about five minutes after I'm done with my self-imposed banishment. But all too soon it's back to the normal mayhem.

  5. Just repeat after me: Women's Colony.

    I would much rather buy mulch than cookies. I can't eat boxes of mulch in one sitting.

  6. mrs. g. - That's right, it gets stuck in your teeth.

  7. Not allow an educator's discount on the Yarn Harlot? You just show that bookseller dude a copy of Laura Berquist's Classical Education. She has kids in the grammarian stage crocheting...which we all know is what you do with yarn when you're not talented enough to knit.

    Not that I can do either, of course.

    Jenn, regarding that good unpaid job: can you come over to my house for a weekend? Please?

  8. Don't you love those moments of bliss with children?

    Of course, you often pay for it later.

    I'm glad you had a lovely morning.

  9. I would answer your question, but I need to leave for Women's Colony.

    The mulch is a good idea. I would weigh less if the groups sold mulch.I would weigh less if I shoveled mulch. You know, instead of cookies.

  10. Kids. Pay attention to them for an hour, and they will expect you to keep it up all day;0)
    Our Scouts have a fundraiser where (for a yearly donation) they will put a big American flag in your front yard for every flag appropriate holiday.
    THE MEN take them out bright and early to set up the flags, and THE MEN go with them to take them down.
    It's a great fundraiser. The women don't need to be involved (other than waking up the boys and getting them out the door), and it's really cool to see all the flags on the street.

  11. So are we going back to the book store, now that Larry has come to the rescue?


  12. family adventure - Actually, that is just what I did! And I didn't read any Berenstain Bears books.

    jill - You are absolutely right - giving them some attention was my first mistake. Stay tuned for my list on how to ignore your children...

    jennifer - You're getting there before me! Make sure to save me one of those lovely wooden rockers.

    And, sorry, Kalynne - Jenn is coming to my house first. She promised.

  13. I just awarded you a blog of distinction award. You can get the details at my blog.

  14. Why are we doing this? Because the benefits are out of this world. Sweaters and socks wear out. [Patience wears out, too, but it seems to be almost infinitely renewable.] My kids and grandkids and someday, I hope, great-grandkids will make the world a better place, one small act of kindness at a time. [If I don't pinch their heads off first. Or vice versa.]

  15. I so miss those showeres where someone isnt talking, screaming, pounding on the shower door, turning off the light and leaving. Even once in a while is so nice to have a quite long hot showere.

    Thanks for making me laugh AGAIN

  16. The kisses.

  17. About that last paragraph - I really did think it was only my children who did that. Play with them for 5 mins and they want an hour. Give them an hour and they want ALL DAY!! Still ... it is a good excuse to ignore the housework, for a while at least.

  18. Oh I HATE the hours with parenting sometimes. Especially when you KNOW you put in overtime...
    You are a good mother.