Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Natural Disasters

Not only do my children have issues with turning off lights, they also have an aversion to ever properly screwing the lid back on to any jar, jug, bottle, or whatever. This can be a problem when one goes to shake the salad dressing before pouring it (I mean, if it bothers you to walk around smelling like Creamy Italian the rest of the evening)...or when the vibration of the washer makes the laundry detergent container fall off and land on the floor. A problem, say, the way the Exxon-Valdez spill was a problem.

I mean, how does one clean up an entire jug of liquid laundry soap? It would be nice if I could have taken a hose and simply sprayed down the entire floor, as it does have a drain in it...but that would have been in some alternate universe, a universe where we have a garage that would hold all the crap we have piled in our utility room. I could show you a picture, but it is too embarrassing. Suffice it to say that there is a narrow path to my washer/dryer and that path was covered in soap.

It was like this, only messier and harder to clean up...

So, instead of spending a peaceful evening knitting (Larry had taken all the kids out to see David "cross over" from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts), I spent my time learning that paper towels don't really do the trick in a situation like this. Old hand towels and cloth diapers worked better; though I needed to use so many, I had a full load of laundry to do when I was finished. Which was great, because, really, I don't do enough laundry. Why stop at 3 loads a day when you can do more? At least I didn't need to add detergent to that particular load (I did put in baking soda, however - I am Laundress, hear me roar...)

So, as you can see, the excitement never stops around here. Aren't you glad you stopped by?

Yesterday the kids and I walked to our local Ben and Jerry's and got the free ice cream cones the store was handing out (no, I don't know why they were doing that). And, yes, I was mean, making the kids walk all that way; but I figured it would heighten their appreciation for the unexpected treat. Plus, I really needed the exercise. I'm sure Susie was a tad puzzled that we were having ice cream, as she hadn't even pooped in the potty that day; but she's a girl who can roll with the punches, so she didn't let her confusion get in her way.

She peed all over the couch yesterday, by the way. Have I mentioned that? And again, on the hallway floor. It's worse than having a puppy. If she weren't so round-cheeked and squeezable, I would sell her to the gypsies. Maybe they would take Anna instead...she doesn't want to live with us, anyway.


  1. You are serious laundress. That has happened to me and I ended up with an I Love Lucy episode in my laundry room with all the soap coming out of the washer from the towels that I used to mop up the soap. Yes, irony is not lost on me.

    I also love the peeing all over the place. I too roll with that.

    Fun! Funny!

  2. My children peed on my furniture and floor way more than my dog has. And frankly he had an excuse,he has no thumbs to open the door for himself.
    Just keep reminding yourself this too will pass.Well, maybe not the caps on bottles, but the potty training.

  3. I usually end up housebreaking a puppy WHILE potty training a kid. I'm just stupid like that. And guess what? My daughter will be getting a new puppy in the not too distant future. Probably about the same time Micah is ready to go sans-diaper.

  4. You had spilled liquid laundry detergent, I had spilled olive oil. Sigh.

    I read your post from yesterday . . . it sounds as if you had a wonderful time.

    Have a great day.

  5. We have the same problem with lights being left on at our house too.
    What really baffles me is how I find all sorts of garbage on the kitchen counter, mere inches away from the garbage can.
    Seriously, less than a foot away. How much harder can it be to reach the extra (small) distance to deposit said refuse in the trash can?

    This week Max had his 3 year old check up with the pediatrician. She was giving potty training suggestions like, "Just put him in underwear, and when he wets, he'll be so uncomfortable that he won't want to do it again."
    Yeah right.
    All I could think of was "Are you crazy, we just got new carpet!"

    When our third child was about a year old, my older kids wanted a puppy, and I pointed out to them that Aaron was pretty much like a puppy because he would bite them and poop on the carpet.

  6. jill - Yes, we told the kids long ago that Susie was their puppy. And don't you love advice from well-meaning professionals?

    bia - salt - pour salt on spilled oil, let it absorb, then sweep it up.

  7. My husband also doesn't know how to screw lids on jars, jugs or bottles...demonstrated by dropped jars of jam on a tiled kitchen floor. An equally sticky mess to clean up...


  8. I read once theres a potty training method that is one week and 75 dollars. ITs where they dont wear any pants (or undies) and you pay someone to come clean the carpets. hehe (I think it costs more than 75 dollars now.

  9. Oh yeah, laundry detergent on the floor. I am guessing that you have a cement floor, and maybe the laundry detergent was liquid? If so, then you know that when you add water, it becomes an instant ice skating rink. Sans ice. I know this from the MULTIPLE times that a whole container of detergent has spilled on the floor. Multiple times, you hear me? And of course because we have 5000 people in this house, we have those HUGE containers of detergent.

    My problem is this, I know that the towels and clothes (we used dirty clothes to mop up the soap, LOL) are covered in soap, so in theory I shouldn't need to add anymore, but I still have to add more because - that soap was on the floor, so it is DIRTY soap. *sigh* so whenever that happens, I always have EXTRA clean clothes - and floor. Oh and the basement (and my bedroom, since it is downstairs too) always smell so nice for a couple of days. I love the smell of tide, LOL.

  10. I have a friend whose son once spilled AN ENTIRE BOTTLE of maple syrup on her kitchen floor. It didn't matter HOW many times she mopped, everyone's feet would stick to the floor.
    The worse thing my husband ever spilled was a gallon of paint on the carpet. It's been 13 years, and I still get mad about it.
    Wish we had a Ben & Jerry's nearby ...

  11. I missed out on the ice cream thing yesterday! Oh well.

    As for the potty training: I am SO! not looking forward to that with twins.



  12. How much baking soda are you supposed to put in? (I should probably go back to that post and look. But you know - I'm lazy.) My husband would be so surprised if I did something new and unusual with the laundry.

    Oh man. The fact that I ended that sentence with the phrase "with the laundry" and not "in the bedroom" means that, holy crap, we've been married a long time.

  13. That's pretty funny==the girl confused about the ice cream despite not pooping in the potty.
    Soap is tough to clean up--eggs are worse.

  14. I would have suggested using the shop vac to suck up the soap. Reason #437 for not having another baby: potty training. You are really funny. You make my life bearable. Keep up the good work and good luck with the pooty thing. We have a saying in my house...God made them cute because you cant kill the cute ones!

  15. ps
    Once my brilliant husband found a way to get the mustard that is at the bottom of the bottle to the top by swirling it in a circle, like throwing a soft ball but in the other direction accept he didnt make sure the cap was closed. Can you say circle of mustard on floor wall and ceiling. Ahhh the brilliance!

  16. i have had that exact same problem -- the cleaning up of the liquid laundry detergent. oh and the children peeing everywhere. what is with that.

  17. No, our hound from hell has pee'd and pooped far more times than the sprogs ever did - for such a small animal I can't work out how she does it!

  18. If you have a big sandbox you can pour sand over big spills and then sweep them up. Too bad there's nothing to be done about a burnt trampoline. I haven't heard one piece of practical advice on that.

  19. That is just not fun!
    Good call on the baking soda though. I wouldn't have thought of that, then I would have over suds'd my machine....

  20. My family's trick is to leave a tiny bit of milk or jam or whatever is barely left in the container so that they don't have to rinse it out an throw it into the recycling.

  21. Full bottle of detergent on floor. That sounds familiar I can't think why...
    But the blog, so funny. Will you be my new best friend?

  22. Sounds like "spilling" was the theme for yesterday.

    You have a *local* Ben & Jerry's? I am so jealous!

  23. Man oh man! You make me laugh. Anna had better watch out.

    Ellie's got her eye on the washing up liquid. She knows it's green, she knows it's squeezable. I've already started worrying how I'm going to clean that up.

  24. AnonymousMay 01, 2008

    I recently heard the 'car talk' guys recommend putting cat litter on an oil spill in a garage. Maybe it would work on laundry soap too

  25. Oh man, I think the worst part is that Larry had taken the kids out and you were stuck cleaning! That's so not right. :(