Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Hope Springs Eternal

 Something in me snapped the other day, the 13 millionth time I had a pot boil over because my not-long-for-this-world stove only works when the burner is set to "High."  Maybe it was the smell of the burned hot cocoa bubbling away beneath the electric element that did it, or maybe it was the tears of the children who had been looking forward to a nice hot cup of chocolate after sledding. 

"That's it!" I told Larry. "I'm pulling the plug.  Let's go shopping."

Larry and I, before we went to Best Buy
Despite 20 years of marriage and the world-weariness that generally comes with middle age, Larry and I headed off to Best Buy full of the type of anticipation and hope better suited to a pair of starry-eyed newlyweds.  Hand in hand, we sashayed through the front doors and nodded cheerily to the greeter.   "A new stove!" we thought, "We're gonna walk out of here with a stove that works!" 

An hour later?  We staggered out to the frozen wasteland of a parking lot, two broken, demoralized, pissed-off-at-each-other 40-somethings.  Flat cooktop stoves, gas stoves, 5-burner stoves, stoves with simmer burners and power burners...."I just wanted an ordinary stove," I sobbed.  "4 burners, self-cleaning, nothing fancy..."

"There, there," Larry tried to console me.  "We could go back in, buy that electric flat top with the 4 burners..."

"No, no," I said.  "Both big burners in the front - how stupid is that?  Why wouldn't you let me get the black one we saw first?"

"Forget it," he said.  "It's GE."


"So, they don't stand behind their products.  Remember the broken handle on the microwave?"

"NO ONE stands behind their products!  Do you see KitchenAid standing behind my broken dishwasher?"

"Look," said Larry.  "Maybe we should get the gas stove?  It's an extra $600 for the conversion, but..."

"Forget it.  Just forget it.  I don't need a stove.  The oven still works.  The heck with it."

And here's where 20 years worth of marriage kicked in.  Larry stopped trying  to reason with me.  He took me out for dinner instead.  At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do.

[Newlyweds: Wallace Wood Ornaments]


  1. Oh, I love this. Next time I need to do similar shopping (we've needed a new fridge for ages) I am printing this post and taking it with me, to remind me to laugh at the absurdity of it all. You transformed a little piece of misery for me. Maybe I'll get taken out to dinner afterwards too!

  2. rustrating and sucky. Larry did the right thing. have you thought about Home Depot? We did well there with our washer/dryer. Also, we bought our fridge at sears. It was brand new but it had a very small dent and was missing the kickplate. Bottom drawer freezer and enough space to chill a cow. 600 bucks. Good luck. Loews has some good deals too. That's where we got our dishwasher.

  3. Taking you out to dinner seems to have been a wise choice. You need a stove. Buy the one that makes you happy and get home warranty insurance. (Best $600 per year investment ever. Covers all appliances, $60 co-pay for a repairman to show up.)
    Pity me. We are house shopping on the internet. SuperDad keeps sending me some really fugly choices because the shop! The shop looks so good! Grrrrr... what about the kitchen?

  4. Appliance shopping. It's like the red tape of being married, isn't it?

  5. Ha, this cracks me up! I have been cooking on a stove which only has two working burners and you have to bang on those to get them to come on. I actually have the extra cash to go out and buy a new stove but from past experience I know that is NOT going to be a fun shopping trip. So instead I cook for eight on my crappy stove and go shopping for shoes instead.

  6. Larry's a smart man! Hope he took you somewhere good!

  7. Do you have a ding and dent place near you? We have a couple and you can get amazing deals--and you know it will get dinged anyway (plus, sometimes the dings are on the side that slides in and doesn't show).

  8. Oh girl - sounds like you need another Appliance Poetry Contest LOL

  9. Do not do what we did. (Hopefully it's off the market now.) We got sold on a Thermidor setup that had the fan behind the stove rather than above, told it would be much quieter.

    It reverberates loudly through the wall, and worse, it means the stove (ours is gas) is pushed several inches towards the user with no safety zone. I've caught a sweater on fire twice now (yeah, I'm a fast learner like that.) When it's a fluffy angora sweater, that flame just goes FWOOSH right up towards your hair, burning off all the little fluff ends.

    Fortunately, I still have my own hair. But one of those sweaters looks like a half-shaved poodle.

  10. I've been searching for a fridge for months...I feel your pain.