Sunday, February 19, 2012

Nope. Not Funny.

There's no funny here tonight.  Rachel, as it turns out, did indeed catch head lice from her friend, and I've been dealing with that for the past 3 days.  There is this constant silent scream welling up inside my body.  You know, at the best of times, I cannot bear looking at bugs.  And when those bugs are on my child's head?  Well, just magnify the horror effect by 10,000 or so.

Our dryer has not stopped running for 72 hours.  Coats, blankets, sheets - you name it, it's gone in there.  Also?  Stuffed puppies and bunnies.  Because the look on Susie's face when we attempted to confiscate all her furry friends for 2 weeks was more than we could bear.

 The first night, I found myself sitting up late, running items through the dryer.  I kept myself awake by doing the NY Times crossword puzzle online.  One definition read something like "vodka, Southern Comfort, amaretto, sloe gin and orange juice."  (Answer: Alabama Slammer)  And I, a person who has never in her life understood the allure of alcoholic beverages, was seized by the following thought: 


I still do.

[Puppy image:]
[Alabama Slammer image: Cocktails]


  1. Sometimes - not often, but there are rare occasions - a drink can totally help. I'm so sorry to hear about the lice. That's awful :(

  2. Have you alcohol in your house? I would drink it. Or would it just make you a drunk with lice in your house? Drink it and see if it helps. Because lice sound awful.

  3. I have truly been there and I would say you really ought to have a drink.

  4. UGH! A drink may actually help. I hope your got all of them!

  5. I'm sorry. And now my head is itchy, but still, I'm really, really sorry.

  6. You do--they taste like delicious Kool Aid. Dangerously delicious.
    I'd end up running my dryer 24/7, too, since Mr. G is like Susie when it comes to stuffed friends. You are a good mom.

  7. Saturday I found a bee on one of my balcony chairs. It wasn't moving so I tried to knock it off and it just slipped down onto the side of the cushion. I spent hours deciding how I was going to dispose of it because dead bees can still sting you. Sunday morning it was gone. Only to be replaced with a dead moth.

    Here's what I learned: Do NOT buy green cushions for outdoor chairs, because I think bugs LOOK FOR THEM.

  8. Lice will do that to ya...

  9. I'm not a drinker either, but lice...I just might consider it.

  10. Oh noes. I'm not positive that alcohol is strong enough, but it's a good place to start.

  11. Words cannot express the horror I feel on your behalf when it comes to lice.
    I'm guessing that an Alabama Slammer (I've never had one) might be just what the doctor ordered.

  12. Sorry about the lice. We suffered through them 3 years ago and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. You may have heard of many cures but ours turned out to be Old Fashioned Listerine (after spending hundreds of dollars on official treatments.) Google it--it's the only thing that worked for us, and it was easy to treat all the kids.

    1. If this works, I am your SLAVE FOR LIFE.