[Annual disclaimer: The idea for this post was stolen from Where Hot Comes To Die. I am telling you this so that Suzy doesn't hunt me down and kill me. She's not the type to fall for that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" nonsense.]
Every time somebody tweets "Your an idiot" an irony angel gets its wings.
Laid Off Twinkie
You didn't hear this from me, but Suzy Q's door was always open, if you get my drift.
Feel like Tickle Me Elmo should have a safe word.
Just set my clocks back to when I still had perky breasts.
You pretty much failed life if your death bed is a futon.
Life on Mars
"Ikea" is the Swedish word for "good luck putting this together."
A watched neighbor never showers.
Just saw "palazzo pant" in a catalog. Now I know how Michael Douglas felt when Glenn Close popped up out of that bathtub.
If someone begins: "Now don't take this the wrong way..." it's exciting
to wonder what's next, from this person I maybe liked till just now.
My favorite thing to do at the gym is leave
Apparently mothers have to hang up on me when their child is bleeding. Rude.
The only problem with vanilla is that it's not chocolate
I'm no fashionista myself, but I offer this 1 piece of advice: Just
because they make a bikini in your size doesn't mean you should buy it.
I can't see my @ replies. Now I know how Helen Keller felt.
[Twitter image: Higher & Higher]
[Boynton image: News Hugs]