Devoted readers (if there are indeed any of you out there) will recall that Larry, seized by the desire to make our holiday season as challenging as possible, ripped all the walls out of the den on our main floor - the den that is connected to the living room by a wide archway and is therefore visible to anyone on the main floor of our lovely townhome.
All. The. Walls.
So here we are, three weeks later, and I will admit that Larry has performed admirably. The electrician has come and gone, having installed a ceiling fan and the ungodly number of electrical outlets that any household needs nowadays. The handyman is at our house putting the finishing touches on the drywall and the trim. Trim, it seems, includes things like baseboards - you know, those white strips of wood that run along the bottom of the walls that you never even notice until you own a home?
There are many, many different types of baseboards, people. And Larry brought home what, in my opinion, were the wrong ones. So, there I was, standing in the unfinished den with a handyman who was threatening not to come back until Larry and I resolved our baseboard differences. In a fit of desperation, I promised him that I would go get the baseboards and the trim for the fireplace myself, while he finished patching the walls. "I'll be right back," I said, grabbing my purse and Susie and heading for the car. "Don't leave!"
"Well, ma'am," he said, "You might have some trouble fitting that in your car."
|It's NOTHING like Joanne Fabrics. NOTHING.|
At which point, ladies and gents, I just gave up. Putting my pride in my pocket, I said, "Yes. Or else, I could just keep on pretending I know what I'm doing."
At least he had the grace to laugh. After cutting my pieces of quarter-round and watching me stow them (incorrectly) on the weird cart, he asked, "Do you need any more help?"
"Oh, no," I said airily. "Thank you very much. I'm just heading over to the lumber aisle to pick up some wood for baseboards." Really - I'm so much better at baseboards than quarter-round. I'm a flipping expert at baseboards.
My savior followed me (discreetly) to the other aisle and helped me find the 1x5 planks I needed (no mean feat), waited patiently while I called an obviously irritated handyman on the phone to check some details, and demonstrated how to sight the length of the boards to make sure they were straight. He then loaded them - correctly - onto the cart, and I thanked him. Repeatedly.
I'd like to announce that I DID manage to check out all by myself. And the baseboards look great. MUCH better than the ones my house-wrecking spouse selected. But my main point here is this - all you single ladies looking for pleasant, competent guys with a sense of humor? I've got a great place for you to hang out.