Sunday, May 05, 2013

Full Panic Mode

We leave Tuesday, EARLY.  Until approximately an hour ago, I believed that preparations were moving along, right on schedule; and then I started tallying up what exactly I have to accomplish tomorrow.  Laundry, packing, finding something amusing for the girls to do in the car, laundry, cleaning out the refrigerator (Lord help me), and some minor housecleaning in case we all perish while on the road...

It doesn't look like this on me.
You know, I would have gotten some of that done today, if I hadn't had to waste 3 HOURS exploring the depressing world of shapewear, in my search for something - anything - that would immobilize my belly fat underneath the dress I am wearing for Theo's graduation.  Where has all this floppy belly fat even come from?  It's not the pregnancies - I looked GREAT after all the babies (if I do say so myself).  I'm thinking it must be yet another present from the menopause fairy.

I ended up buying that device pictured to the right.  I feel positively 19th-century in it.  All that is missing are the whalebone and laces, I believe.

Whoops! Don't Google for images of "corsets" - it gets weird pretty quickly.

I bet I could do these exercises, too, if I didn't have this spare tire around my middle.  Who does this chick think she is, anyway, showing off like that? 


  1. Hang in there -- and don't forget your dress shoes.

  2. Yeah, I have to wear a body shaping thing under nice dresses anymore and it's beyond depressing. (Wish there were a reasonable way to make it part of the damn dress.) Have an amazing time at the graduation. I'm sure you'll look great.

  3. I like Sheer Energy pantyhose with stomach control stitched into the top. Overally, way more comfy than a corset!

    1. Deb, I too am a lifelong fan of Sheer Energy. With the control top and the extra spandex for my vein-riddled legs, they are a dream come true. But, at some point over the last decade or so, it became unfashionable to wear pantyhose with dresses (other than in a professional setting, and sometimes not even then). Things have gotten to the point that it now looks weird - almost orthopedic - to do so. At least, south of the Mason Dixon line it does. Maybe I should move north? Middle age is hard enough without having my slimming, camouflaging pantyhose taken away from me.

  4. You're with cool company. I read that Jessica Alba wore a corset to help get her figure back after childbirth.

  5. Why oh why do they use models who don't NEED shapewear? I want to see if the things actually work on someone with my body shape!
    If it helps, I have a friend here in this very casual city who wears panty hose for the same reason you do, and it took me an entire year to even notice. Wear yours with confidence.
    We used to blame our mothers -- now we blame menopause. :)

  6. Hey! That one looks pretty snazzy. Let us know if it rolls up or down on you and I may go and invest in one. Mine (both pair) have leg thingys that look like bicycle

  7. AnonymousMay 08, 2013

    Everyone wears the spandex to keep things high and tight around here. I felt so stupid...and somehow relieved when I found that out!