Sunday, January 26, 2014

Jack-Booted Thugs

I've pretty much had the weekend off from any childcare duties, because Larry took Brian and the girls with him BOTH DAYS to help deliver flyers for the mulch sale sponsored by Brian's Boy Scout troop.  Considering that the annual mulch delivery extravaganza sucks a whole weekend out of my life every year, I believe that this is fair payback.  The girls are actually quite helpful - they sit in the car and roll up flyers, while the boys stuff the flyers in everyone's mailboxes.

Mailboxes - ay, there's the rub. 

Larry was stopped by a post office vigilante this afternoon in a very price-y neighborhood, where the boys had been nefariously tucking their flyers between the mailbox flags and the mailboxes at the end of each driveway.  Flashing his official post-office cop badge, this gentleman informed my husband that he was breaking the law by allowing flyers to be placed in what are apparently federally-regulated mail receptacles.  It seems he stopped just short of handcuffing my husband and leading him away to prison in front of his wide-eyed children.  Larry groveled and apologized and was let go with a stern warning, however, so our offspring didn't have to experience a real-life version of The Railway Children.

I'm sorry, dearies, but your father is a criminal.
Sheesh.  Forget Edward Snowden's complaints about the NSA, this is what government overreach looks like, people.  Where does it end?  Will they start confiscating Girl Scout cookies next, under Michelle Obama's healthy-eating initiative?  Will I have to hide behind a bookcase in an attic to eat my beloved Trefoils?  As David intoned, "First they came for the Boy Scouts, and I did nothing..."

[Railway Children image: GPB Television]


  1. Yes, yes, that is what is exactly is happening.

  2. Lack of common sense is frustrating. We always did doors because of this kind of thing.

  3. I haven't thought of The Railway Children in a while. That was such good movie. A nice one to watch while it is so cold outside. Glad Larry didn't get arrested!

  4. Oh my, thank you for the hearty chuckle this morning!
    I can imagine the fear in your children's eyes as they watched Larry get dressed down for the illegal stuffing. Imagine what the postal vigilantes do to the Avon ladies!

  5. Oh this brings back memories. When my oldest was a scout, I had the job of organizing the distribution of the flyers. Each year I had to give a long and loud lecture to the scouts that included "NO MAILBOXES...STAY AWAY FROM THE MAILBOXES!!!!!"

  6. It's true, mailboxes have more federal protection than the national parks. OK, that was hyperbole, but they are taken very seriously. I always thought it was OK to put flyers and things outside of mailboxes, such as your kids and husband were doing. You're just not supposed to put anything that isn't mail IN a mailbox, so the mailbox cop was wrong.

  7. hahaha, my father was reprimanded in the 1970s by the world's most stern Postmistress for leaving notes to his sister (and roommate) in their shared P.O. Box when he'd embark last-minute on commercial fishing ventures and needed to let her know. It's still a favorite family story ---- he was drug into the office and scared straight.

  8. The Boy Scouts are such a criminal organization, trying to fool the hapless public into giving up their hard-earned money for made-up pyramid schemes. "Mulch sale" -- ha! What will they think up next? Collecting food for the hungry?

    Yes, I've been lectured before, can you tell?
    Poor Larry.