Monday, November 30, 2015

Girl Power

Quickly, because I am supposed to be in bed now...

We had a fine, uneventful Thanksgiving, thank you. Of course, if Larry had had his way, it would have been more complicated.  You see, as the girls and I were working in the kitchen Thursday morning, Larry appeared in the dining room. He was carrying a drop cloth and paint brushes.

Seriously, people, at 10:30 on Thanksgiving morning.

Susie and Rachel and I stared at him. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm going to paint that door frame."

"No. You're not."

"I HAVE to. It's required by the door warranty," he said, attempting to make room for his painting stuff next to the already set dining room table.

Does NOT go well with turkey
Let's review: the french doors were installed around 2 months ago. 2 MONTHS. Moreover, Thanksgiving Day is followed by 3 days in which Larry could paint that door frame at his leisure. Does anyone else see the pattern here? Remember the bathroom sink incident before the cocktail party last December?

Sabotage, pure and simple.

"You can do it another day," I said. "NOT NOW."

Larry, believe it or not, looked annoyed - ANNOYED - by my intransigence. Couldn't I see he was trying to get something done? "The weather is perfect today for painting," he announced.

Lord knows, I am not one to stand in the way of home improvement. But we were expecting guests. So I braced for battle. "Look," I said, "the weather is supposed to be good tomorrow and Saturday. You can paint then."

"It will just take a few minutes," he insisted.

"But, Daddy," said Rachel (my newly favorite child), "the paint smell won't go away in time for dinner."

"Don't worry," said Larry. "It won't smell."

"That's right, Rachel," I said, realizing that Larry was positively delusional at this point. "Daddy's paint doesn't smell. Didn't you know that?"

And then all 3 of us looked at Larry, standing in the kitchen doorway with the dropcloth bundled under his arm and an exasperated look on his face, and we cracked up. Realizing he was outnumbered, Larry headed back down to the basement with his implements of destruction.

"I was just trying to help," he huffed. Which, yeah, made us laugh even harder.

[Paint can image: Clipart Panda]


  1. "Required by the door warranty?" LOL!!!

    1. Oddly enough, it is, and the guy (when he came back to install the screen doors) warned us that it needed to be done. But there have been many, many days since then with perfect weather and time to do it. According to Larry, though, Thanksgiving was the ONLY day available. He ended up doing it Saturday.

  2. So that's why I can never win fights with Gary when he's irrational - I don't have girls to back me up!

    1. First time ever. Who knows if it will ever happen again?

  3. Your husband is a piece of work!! Glad you won out this time. It helps helps to have them outnumbered!

  4. I have no words. PAINTING, just before guests arrive for dinner? I'm glad you and your team of support troops prevailed.

  5. We had an interesting Thanksgiving too. The garbage disposal suddenly backed up just as we were getting ready to sit down and eat. So Rick went and got the toilet plunger and the drano and wanted to work on it right there, while the beautifully roasted turkey sat on the counter by the sink. I had to rant at him fora full five minutes before he relented. He couldn't understand why I was freaking out about drano and a kitchen fully of freshly prepared food about to be eaten. And why I really didn't want our guests to see him using the toilet plunger in the kitchen sink.

  6. I was actually up early on Thanksgiving painting : ) I did not however, host anyone, or cook...We did have a birthday party on Sunday afternoon, though and I was painting more on Sunday morning...

  7. I need daughters. You are a blessed woman to have them.

    My husband tried to start a demo-project the day before Thanksgiving (was it last year or the year before? I can't recall) and it was only my ability to put my foot down that stopped him.

  8. Thank goodness you intervened before he'd gotten started! That man had some nerve!

  9. My husband was too busy cooking the Thanksgiving dinner to come up with any ideas. Which I must admit he mostly doesn't anyway. If it does occur to him to pull a stunt like this, then he says, "-or I could do nothing." And that's the end of that.