We had a fine, uneventful Thanksgiving, thank you. Of course, if Larry had had his way, it would have been more complicated. You see, as the girls and I were working in the kitchen Thursday morning, Larry appeared in the dining room. He was carrying a drop cloth and paint brushes.
Seriously, people, at 10:30 on Thanksgiving morning.
Susie and Rachel and I stared at him. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm going to paint that door frame."
"No. You're not."
"I HAVE to. It's required by the door warranty," he said, attempting to make room for his painting stuff next to the already set dining room table.
|Does NOT go well with turkey|
Sabotage, pure and simple.
"You can do it another day," I said. "NOT NOW."
Larry, believe it or not, looked annoyed - ANNOYED - by my intransigence. Couldn't I see he was trying to get something done? "The weather is perfect today for painting," he announced.
Lord knows, I am not one to stand in the way of home improvement. But we were expecting guests. So I braced for battle. "Look," I said, "the weather is supposed to be good tomorrow and Saturday. You can paint then."
"It will just take a few minutes," he insisted.
"But, Daddy," said Rachel (my newly favorite child), "the paint smell won't go away in time for dinner."
"Don't worry," said Larry. "It won't smell."
"That's right, Rachel," I said, realizing that Larry was positively delusional at this point. "Daddy's paint doesn't smell. Didn't you know that?"
And then all 3 of us looked at Larry, standing in the kitchen doorway with the dropcloth bundled under his arm and an exasperated look on his face, and we cracked up. Realizing he was outnumbered, Larry headed back down to the basement with his implements of destruction.
"I was just trying to help," he huffed. Which, yeah, made us laugh even harder.
[Paint can image: Clipart Panda]