Wednesday, August 22, 2018

If Life Could Just Slow Down A Sec...

Oh, hi! Yeah, it's me. I got back from the beach 4 days ago and it's been crazy ever since. Got home, unpacked, grocery-shopped, cooked dinner (oh, yes, I did, because there were 7 hungry people in the house), unpacked some more, did laundry, took a walk - I felt as if I had run a marathon by the time I fell into bed Saturday night. Did I mention I had gotten up at 5:30 that morning so we could clean the beach house and head home early enough to beat the traffic?

Chicken bought pre-cooked, because
I have my limits, people.

I don't know why people say vacations are relaxing.

BUT we had great weather and many days on the beach and ice cream cones whenever we wanted, so I would call the trip an overall success. Here - have some seashells:

This is supposed to look artistic.

For reasons beyond my comprehension, the owners of our beach house rental saw fit to hang the following sign directly above the master bath toilet:

Um, okay...

Here's my failed attempt at capturing the morning sun shining on the waves:

But all this - beach and ice cream and travel - was eclipsed, I'm afraid, by the fact that Brian, he of the awesome tech skills generously shared with his confused parents, left home yesterday. He's at college now, in fact, living in a dorm and being an artsy design major. He allowed his dad to take a zillion pictures of him putting spiffy new linens on his dorm room bed, and Brian himself even sent me a few photos of the amazing food ("Tastes awesome!") at the spiffy new dining hall on campus.

Really, college? You couldn't even let him miss my cooking?

He's gone, and I swear to God, it's (again) as though 18 years of my life walked out that door with him. Remember the tornado costume? The dumb accidents? Oh, and look - here I am worrying about Brian turning into a teenager! How...quaint. Because now I get to worry about his turning into a college student.

He was up late packing the night before he left, so I decided it would be a good idea to walk into his room and impart my wisdom about drugs and alcohol and sex. Oh, yes, I did. And yeah, that went as well as could be expected, given my eloquence at such things. I ended with, "Look, just don't be stupid, all right? And if you realize you're being stupid, remember, you can stop being stupid at any time."

I should write a parenting book: How To Talk So Your Kids Will Squirm. I think I have the technique down by now.


  1. I'm ALWAYS lecturing my kids about not being stupid, but I need to add the second part of your speech -- "and if you realize you're being stupid, remember, you can stop being stupid at any time" -- because that's just plain awesome.

  2. My husband always says to my kids "stupid people suffer". However when they are still living in my house with me, their stupid choices make me, their smartish parent, suffer right along with them. I think they are taking it as permission to be stupid people. Sigh. He needs a new catchphrase.

    1. Yes, I prefer, if they ARE going to be stupid, that they do so out on their own. Out of sight, out of mind...

  3. My friend says, "Stupid should hurt," but apparently, it doesn't or there wouldn't be so much stupid. Talking about politicians, not your kids!

  4. I LOVE your speech and plan to use it as soon as I can work it into a conversation! I think the ending is perfect!

  5. I just tell everyone not to make me a grandma lol.

  6. I wouldn't call the sun on the waves picture a failed attempt...I love it!

    My poor son - every time I read something about drugs, alcohol or anything horrifying...he also gets an "eloquent" (not) speech from me...but I figure some of it is sinking in, right? That's our job. So, yeah, I love your "Look, just don't be stupid, all right? And if you realize you're being stupid, remember, you can stop being stupid at any time." - it's perfect!

  7. I love that bit of advice. Am going to pass it along to my son as he leaves next weekend. Glad the beach treated you right.

  8. Good luck to Brian at college. I'm sure your message was heard, if not accepted, yet.

  9. Glad you had good weather. I am with you on being busy. Love 'the talk'. I am at an airport right now waiting to fly out east to look at schools with Eddie. Seems like yesterday his 1st grade teacher was handingnme his pencil in a zip lock. He had chewed it till it resembled a wood chip.

  10. I'm having major paradigm shift now (again) because how can Brian be old enough for college? Your talk is impressive, especially the part about stopping the stupid at any time.
    Nice beach pictures!